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Banj

Observations from behind a gamepad...

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LONG BLOG

A death on XBOX Live...

   0
Banj says:
I know kung fu.

Gemma says:
what u want

Banj says:
...your exciting attitude.

Gemma says:
im watchin xfactor

Banj says:
You just lost a point Germ.

Gemma says:
not as many as u lost last week

Banj says:
What? With my Lowey joke*?

*last week I messaged all of Lowey's mates on XBOX Live and told them he'd been rushed to hospital and subsequently died.

Gemma says:
errr yeah

Banj says:
Everyone found it funny didn't they?

Gemma says:
nope

Banj says:
He laughed.

Banj says:
You shit cunts need to get your sense of humour in for an upgrade.

Banj says:
...it was a classic.

Banj says:
Did you cry a little bit?

Gemma says:
no

Gemma says:
i was only one who didnt fall for it

Banj says:
Crumple asked me what happened, so I told him he'd died of AIDS. He messaged me back saying that you AIDS takes a while to kill you and he didn't even know Lowey was ill. I told him it was a strain of Super AIDS. The shit cunt STILL believed me!

Gemma says:
no one thought it was funny.

Banj says:
Lowey text me from hospital and said he had tonsilitis and he thought he was
dying, I just ran with it. It was his fault.

Gemma says:
not the best move making people loose faith in ur word

Banj says:
Fuck off you drama queen, besides, it's XBOX Live, who gives a shit?

Gemma says:
yeah but Lowey's life aint a game

Banj says:
It is, and I'm the motherfucking master at playing it.

Banj says:
I gots me the top score, bitch.

Gemma says:
u at work or somethin

Banj says:
Yeah, why?

Gemma says:
just wondered why ur on here

Gemma says:
on a sat night

Banj says:
...yeah, I'm stuck at the snore factory for another 45mins.

Gemma says:
u gonna let me watch x factor or u really that bored

Banj says:
Why are you in an arse if you didn't believe me anyway?

Gemma says:
im not

Banj says:
So, what's with the exciting vibe you're giving off?

Banj says:
...it's a cross between "fuck off" and "I think you're a cunt".

Gemma says:
lmao

Banj says:
Am I somewhere near?

Gemma says:
no

Gemma says:
im ill so u wont get a rise outta me

Banj says:
What is it, the AIDS?

Banj says:
...does XBOX Live know?

Gemma says:
got a cough and shit

Banj says:
shit, or the shits?

Gemma says:
I've not got the shits!

Banj says:
I should hope not, my sources tell me you only change your scruds once a week.
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About Banjone of us since 3:43 AM on 03.21.2007

My name is Banj and I'm into chicks in a Michael Douglas way.

I live and work in the East Riding Of Yorkshire in a one-horse frontier town called Goole. If you imagine the river Humber as the arsehole of England, Goole is 25 miles up it. I'm 32 years old yet I'm still firmly on the cutting edge of all things, finger on the pulse, back to the wall and balls to the floor.

I work in harmony with the 'po po' in a crime fighting capacity, keeping the streets of Goole clean one dealer at a time. The inherant irony being that I used to have a massive drug problem but "takes a cunt to catch a cunt" as Jesus once said.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I fucking love videogames? I would say that a good 50% of my awake time is spend playing, reading about or talking about games. I'm currently totally and utterly addicted to my XBOX 360 and the whole Live community thing. It's truely the next step in gaming, not that fucking magic wand bollocks Nintendo are touting.

Lastly, I'm a huge fan of the 'Toid. I love it's general sense of humour, I love it's strong community but most of all I love the excellent forum and the members who post there. You cats are my bread and butter.

Now, sit back, relax and let me take you on a hugely irrelevant and pointless journey.
Xbox LIVE:Banj


 

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