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LONG BLOG

Full Scale Review: Resident Evil 5

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Credentials: master of the game beaten twice, have all unlockables, playing professional mode now.

THE REVIEW:

If you liked RE4 GAMEPLAY then you will like RE5. Don't fool yourself it is really that simple. It is basically the same game except that it is not scary and they got rid of the charming merchant. This is the biggest draw back. No longer will shit be bought at high prices or hobo-esque chuckles be heard throughout Spain or wherever that game was. I used to have a tradition of buying a new gun from the guy and then testing it out on him "The Jackal" style and get along with the game.






Well that is no more so prepare for huge disappointment if you were a fan of his peddling antics. PREPARE.

Besides that the game is sick. All the good shit is there -- the treasures are well placed and you will be looking for sparkling shit in the rocks and still miss shit. The guns are all badass, Sheva looks hot in her last unlockable tribal uniform. She does get in your way though so play this shit co-op. She fucking always uses all my green herbs before I can mix them. I would recommend buying this game if you liked RE4 or enjoy great short action games with a good sense of style.



Also, this game is only racist to over-sensitive pussies. The game takes place in fucking Africa. So you will be shooting black people.

Pros:
immaculate character,enemy,weapon design.
great environments and graphics.
gameplay is tight after learning controls
plenty of extras
well-thought out trophies (only 1 gold tho)

Cons:
As scary as church on sunday
A bit short.
story sucks more balls than 3rd world country sex slaves


RATING: 9.5 outta 10
BIAS: +1.5
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About Balls of Ryuone of us since 2:48 PM on 02.23.2009

PSN: Grundley

Top Ten Games:

1. Super Mario World
2. Mega Man X
3. Metal Gear Solid 3
4. Resident Evil 4 (Wii)
5. Metal Gear Solid
6. Final Fantasy XII
7. Mega Man 9
8. Donkey Kong Country
9. Dues Ex
10. Doom II