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FROM MY EBAY AUCTION (going live at 7pm)

I'm actually selling it. This is not a joke. Don't worry PS3 friends, I am buying another one ASAP. The "other person" is our own Tazarthayoot.

System includes:

- Power supply
- Raw, unadulterated evil
- AV cables including HDMI
- A scary novelty mask from the movie 300 that I also received with the system, as a "bonus."
- A copy of The Warriors on bluray
- A copy of Warhawk

Let me start off by saying I don't believe in curses. I am a rational, agnostic person with a strong passion about empirical evidence. I don't believe in the afterlife, I frown on people who've told me they've had supernatural experiences or seen UFOs as quacks and hippies. I live in New York, and I am a video editor by trade. I have a sarcastic sense of humor and consider myself a "skeptic."

Which is what makes this even more difficult to believe.

In fact it was this impulse alone that led to the purchase of said Playstation 3. I was very happy with my 360 but one of my closest friends had fallen on hard times and needed to sell off his 60 GB PS3. He warned me it was cursed. I laughed it off and knew he had just had a run of bad luck. Despite the following I considered myself safe. If you don't believe in something how can it affect you? The following are his words, verbatim:

"I purchased the system sometime in mid to late August. I sold my entire library of 360 games and the system, as well as most of my DVD collection to afford it.

In September, I was dropped from full-time to part-time at work, even though I worked full 30+ hours every week. Not a big deal, yet.

In October, the vacation I planned on taking to visit family was a complete fallout. I lost six unpaid days from work and didn't get to see my family. Whether or not this is because of the PSTriple, or because of my inadequate, unreliable family, the jury is still out.

In November I was mugged in downtown Columbus after a concert. My cell phone, my money, and all three of my credit cards were taken. They also took my smokes.

In December I got into a car accident, breaking my leg and almost died. Due to the fact that I had no insurance, I was forced out of the hospital without adequate medication (read: no pain killers at all) and was left with a half-assed cast job on my left leg.

Then I found out the home my father was supposed to have purchased he never did, putting the house in default, and evicting me. This was basically right on Christmas Eve. Again, not sure if it's PSTriple related, but I'm gonna blame it for it.

The day after my accident I started feeling like I had a cold. By the second day I realized I had pneumonia. Neither of my jobs allowed me to take time off to get better, or else I'd be fired. So I was forced to work a retail job coughing and wheezing, with a broken leg from the accident and a tech support job when I could barely breathe and couldn't talk.

Then my right ear started to hurt, by the next day I couldn't hear out of my right ear at all. This went on well into January.

The day I shipped out the PStriple I found out I was gonna be let go at the end of December due to "lack of performance."

After I shipped the system out to Teddy I got a call from my uncle inviting me to live in their huge house rent free, and they would even pay for me to go back to school.

It sounds unbelieveable but this is not some chain letter. This is my life, and there's proof."

Now back to my story:

Having been told it was "cursed" I couldn't resist testing his hypothesis. Besides, I wanted a backwards compatible PS3. I got it in the mail, the system worked great. It's still in great, evil condition. I have had the system for one month - since January 1st, and I don't want to die. The following all happened within that time:

Three days after I got the system I had a brand-new engraved Ipod Touch that had been a present for my birthday ripped out of my hands on the subway. The thief ducked around a corner and disappeared, and was never caught.

I also caught either the flu, or pneumonia, despite the fact that I had quit smoking two months prior. I was knocked out for a week, the longest I have ever been sick, and there were three days in a row my temperature went above 103.1 degrees. I nearly died but I was too sick to even go to the hospital, and suffered it out. I lost almost a full week of pay, as I am freelance and don't get sick days.

Three weeks ago I lost over four days of work at an editing station when Final Cut Pro mysteriously glitched out. Not only did it corrupt all my save files, it deleted many hours of captured footage and somehow corrupted even the autosaves on a separate external hard drive, I am just now catching up.

Two weeks ago I woke up with two HUGE red marks on my face I initially thought were spider bites. It turned out to be much worse: an infestation of bedbugs. Bedbugs are incredibly difficult to get rid of and a huge pain in the ass, literally. I looked like a freak as the bites swelled up, and I was embarrassed to go outside. Don't worry, the infestation was cleared and the system was never anywhere near the bedroom. What you're getting is much worse, anyway.

Now I'm not going to blame our currently crippled economy on my PS3, but I will say I also lost over $4000 in the stock market, which is part of why I have to sell this box.

And, to cap it all off, not 24 hours ago I found out my girlfriend of 5 YEARS was cheating on me and I had to break it off. It was the most painful thing I've ever done in my life. I thought we'd get married, and we had had the perfect relationship, talking on the phone every day. We were devoted to each other. It was long distance, but it was working out. Until a month ago, when she started acting weird, that cheating fucking whore. Even worse, I found out she was cheating on our five-year anniversary, just days from Valentines' day as the perfect FUCK YOU. I should send her this PS3.

So to summarize: if you buy this PS3 make sure you have

- Health Care
- Auto Insurance
- Life Insurance
- No cheating whore of girlfriend
- your rent paid up
- a living will

I'm not kidding. Please buy it for someone you don't like.

The system itself works perfectly. Anyway, good fucking luck. You'll need it. If you decide to resell it please include your own experiences with this monolith of evil and forward it my way so I know I'm not insan e.
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About BahamutZeroone of us since 11:00 AM on 12.08.2006

Name: Bahamut "Mancakes" Zero
Blood Type: ICE
Fighting Style: MAVERICK
Favorite Stance: legalize it.
Weapon of choice: Christopher Walken
Drug of choice: crack. mostly crack.
1st Alternate Drug of choice: huffin' duster
2nd Alternate Drug of choice: icy hot
Favorite Book: God Hand
Favorite Movies: Gin and Tonic
Favorite Game: Medieval 2 Total War
Weakness: gas
Favorite writer: Criss Angel
Current room status: sparse.
Mood: Better than a tranny pequeno Amy Winehouse

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