Atlas blog header photo
Atlas's c-blog
Fronts 1Posts 0Blogs 143Following 1Followers 37



Why are Mushrooms Bouncy?

Mushrooms. Step on one. It will crumble before your magnificent visage. No recoil. No rebound. Just a mushroom flattened before your very eyes. How could humanity twist such a creature? How could we destroy the very concept of a mushroom an...


Hey Paisano

Hey, did I do it right? Can I get past the border now, meng?


Destructoid Burnout (too much of a good thing?)

So.... six months since my last blog post. I can recall doing this once or twice before. I get real into Destructoid, so much that I write blog after blog like I'm getting paid for it. I make tons of comments. Read all the news stories and ...


Those about to die: ME

I'm not too fond of games that travel the well worn and tested routes, the games where you rescue the princess and live happily ever after (well... only until the sequel of course). These videogames are a dime a dozen. Regardless, you sti...


Hamza Day 2009 Featuring Dr. Ivo Robotnik

Hi guys it is Hamza Day '09!!! I made a really bad flash video but it won't convert properly so I have stuck you guys with a really bad video of a Hamza/Atlas combo staring down Robotnik. I know it sucks! Anyone have suggestions of a D...


Launching Destructoid Canada!

Remember when I said that Canadian Dtoiders would have a present? Probably not because I said that a long time ago. After playing with the content in it for the last month in frustration I decided to go the best route I could while stil...


Playing With Brothers

When I was young I could single out the very best thing about my brother; he could play videogames with me. Long nights were spent passing the controller around causing mindless mayhem in Grand Theft Auto, button mashing each other to dea...


What Xbox 360 are you on?

A fair amount of us... no scratch that, almost all of us have had an Xbox 360 fail on us at least once or twice. I myself am on my third 360 after two broken 360's in the span of two years. The failure rate on these machines is deplorable...


The "Win A Copy of Spore" Contest Results

The entry conditions were simple. Put Jesus, Hitler, Spore, Bioshock, and an iPhone into a single picture. While the number of participants was small I am convinced that this contest will go down in history as containing the single best mas...


Contest: Win A Copy Spore From My Blog!

Having recently won a copy "Spore: Origins" from the amazing Nick Chester I was faced with a problem. A problem of huge proportions. A problem unprecedented in the history of humanity. A free game to give away, you see, for I do not ha...


Why are we Browsing Destructoid on Christmas Day?

I ask myself this question right now; why am I browsing Destructoid on Christmas? Why am I reading Long John Sterling's shittiest games of '08 or hungrily eying Necros racist Destructoid cookie? Christmas is a time we should spend with our...


Destructoid Swag Has Arrived

So the swag has arrived from last months random drawing in the PC contest. I have no idea if customs ripped it apart since the processor box was all patched up, but at any rate I have a new processor. If I suddenly disappear it means I di...


The Last VGA Developer Fashion Awards

Without further ado, here are the nominees for Atlas' Last VGA Developer Fashion Awards! Runners-up: Will... he looks fab. Is it the retro goggles or the sleek comb-over? You deserve an award for effort! The last time I saw anyone lo...


Metal Gear Mario

What would happen if two pre-pubescent boys decided to merge two of the most sacred gaming franchises of the late twentieth century in a compact straight-to-Youtube video? This is what would happen, and I believe I have found the holy grail...


A Time to React: You Put Racism in my Videogame!

"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries." -Stephen King Resident Evil 5. Farcry 2. Call of Duty 5: Frag the Japs. These games may be new but their ideology is not. The white agenda is a prevalent force in these games, inten...


Is Gaming A Virtue or a Vice?

So, I just got called and invited out tonight. It is relatively late (11:30) to be going out and I would rather just browse Dtoid and chill with some videogames instead of going out. But here is where things get tricky. I got invited out by...


About Atlasone of us since 7:15 PM on 09.16.2007

First off is my highest honour -- my shit on the front page of Destructoid.

I was born back in the days of yore, when 3-D graphics were only a dream.

I like games.

Super Nintendo had to be one of the best consoles. Mario, Metroid, Link, Kirby, Donkey Kong and everyone else came to the party. Good times.

I own a Super Nintendo, N64, Gamecube, Wii, PS1, PS2, PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360, Gameboy Pocket, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, and a DS.

I regret missing some of the good old days, back in the early 90's, because I was too young to appreciate a good game when it smacked me in the face. Such is the folly of youth.

Somedays I wish I could have lived through such tumultuous times, what with the advent of Spandex tights and Rap, but then I think that it is much better to live longer and be younger than all of you people who did enjoy Super Metroid and Mario Kart in it's heyday and just be content with an emulator and a Xbox 360 controller.

Favorite Games: Mario series, Donkey Kong Country/64, Metroid series, Legend of Zelda series, Fable, Halo series, Shadow of the Colossus, GTA series, God of War 1 and 2, Morrowind, Oblivion, Tales of Symphonia, Final Fantasy X, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and more that I can't recall.

Send me a friends request if you dare, just send a message telling me you're from Destructoid so I don't think you're a 63 year old pedophile masquerading as a teenage girl to lure gullible, young boys to your basement. And if that description both fits you and you are from Destructoid then expect to recieve my home phone number and address.

Update: One year later

New games I would add to my favorites are Gears of Wars series, Fallout 3, Mass Effect, Bioshock (hey, I was playing it when I joined!), and other games I cannot recall. Some games I have loved for a long time but forgot to list over a year ago are Rome: Total War, the top Mario games, and the main Pokemon GB games. The rest escape me at this time.

So these days God no longer compels you to blog, Atlas is Fontaine, and generally speaking I am pretty well known around these parts. (I hope) I regret not joining Destructoid sooner, when I first had the chance with a link from Chad Concelmo's IGN blog. Even he was born in the primordial soup IGN was, or so it would seem. I no longer frequent there or other gaming sites except from time to time because Destructoid is hopefully my internet home from here on out. A great place to be, cheers to another year at Destructoid!

Update: Another year later

Okay, so year three isn't going that great. I haven't blogged for six months and have barely visited the site. In fact, it is nearly November and my 2 years happened almost 2 months ago in early September. Damn life, going outside into the real world is time consuming! I haven't even turned on a videogame since April... (until just recently!) But of course I haven't forgotten about Dtoid; THE GREATEST SITE ON THE WEB! Sorry Dtoid, I will try to live less and Dtoid more.

Update: Another few years later

So life hit me... I still visit this site when I can... to think I started visiting this site when I was 15, and made an account two weeks after I turned 16... I'm 20 now, Destructoid is practically part of my life story at this point, even if I disappear for years at a time. Still, I remember the good old days, the days when Dtoid was like the Wild West, when I was at my most active, and when we would open the gates of Hell in our mischief, always walking on the edge of the banhammer. Now I'm just an ancient, obscure memory to the last surviving cowboys, a group even to this day I feel I'm a part of. Still, I raise my glass to you. Good times Destructoid, good times!

Oh, and to a few of us oldsters, Atlas is Fontaine.