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Atlas's c-blog
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Horse Armor DLC for Skyrim available for purchase

Leaking early on Xbox Live Marketplace and then quickly removed was horse armor, priced at 400 Microsoft Points. Most telling about the download was that the content is already on the actual game disc, and the cost is merely unlocking it. A...

 
 
 

The Jim Sterling effect (Jim Sterling)

I gathered some data and analyzed it, my results being quite amazing. "The Jim Sterling effect" as you may know it multiplies blog excellence. But now, you can rest quite assured that there is some serious science behind this fact. I we...

 
 
 

Why modern games are infinitely better than retro games

Lots of people in this day and age constantly berate new, superior modern games. They tell us that this new game is trash, that videogames are for the mainstream and have been dumbed down, and that old classic games are better. Well, I am g...

 
 
 

Why Skyrim is better than Zelda: Skyward Sword

With the extreme similarities between Skyrim and Zelda, we are forced to compare them. They are nearly identical competitors, with nearly identical gameplay... Very easy to directly compare to each other! Kind of like Battlefield 3 and Mo...

 
 
 

MMO Stories: The day I was molested

I was a boy of ten years old in the world of Runescape. It was Christmas day, and I was enjoying vast deposits of coal left unguarded by people who had abandoned me to real life. I am the master of this coal mine, being the great Dwarven U...

 
 
 
 
 

Would you kindly let me spoil your games?

Atlas is Fontaine Samus is a woman The main character IS Darth Revan Aeris dies Your dog dies Tidus isn't real The Collectors are actually Protheans Carmine dies The princess is in another castle John Marston gets killed by the arm...

 
 
 
 

Happy Fortieth Birthday Destructoid

I can't believe it has been forty years since Niero created Destructoid. After all these years it has remained awesome, only a little less so when Niero disappeared in the Brazilian jungle seventeen years ago. But we carry on, and with fort...

 
 
 
 

Why are Guards Psychic?

Guards. Some of them have telepathic abilities. They can see you when you are out of site. They know when their friends attack you. Hell, they even know when you stealth kill someone. This is a real conspiracy. It's up to Atlas to once ag...

 
 
 

Why are Mushrooms Bouncy?

Mushrooms. Step on one. It will crumble before your magnificent visage. No recoil. No rebound. Just a mushroom flattened before your very eyes. How could humanity twist such a creature? How could we destroy the very concept of a mushroom an...

 
 
 

Hey Paisano

Hey, did I do it right? Can I get past the border now, meng?

 
 
 

Destructoid Burnout (too much of a good thing?)

So.... six months since my last blog post. I can recall doing this once or twice before. I get real into Destructoid, so much that I write blog after blog like I'm getting paid for it. I make tons of comments. Read all the news stories and ...

 
 
 
 

Those about to die: ME

I'm not too fond of games that travel the well worn and tested routes, the games where you rescue the princess and live happily ever after (well... only until the sequel of course). These videogames are a dime a dozen. Regardless, you sti...

 
 
 

For Those About to Die: YOU CANNOT DIE YOU ARE A ROBOT!

How is it that a final boss can die at the end of a game if he was never once alive? Will Smith destroyed a contingent of plastic bullies in "I, Robot" but he did not technically ever kill a single one of those angry mannequin gadgets. They...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Hamza Day 2009 Featuring Dr. Ivo Robotnik

Hi guys it is Hamza Day '09!!! I made a really bad flash video but it won't convert properly so I have stuck you guys with a really bad video of a Hamza/Atlas combo staring down Robotnik. I know it sucks! Anyone have suggestions of a D...

 
 
 
 

Launching Destructoid Canada!

Remember when I said that Canadian Dtoiders would have a present? Probably not because I said that a long time ago. After playing with the content in it for the last month in frustration I decided to go the best route I could while stil...

 
 
 

Playing With Brothers

When I was young I could single out the very best thing about my brother; he could play videogames with me. Long nights were spent passing the controller around causing mindless mayhem in Grand Theft Auto, button mashing each other to dea...

 
 
 
 
 

What Xbox 360 are you on?

A fair amount of us... no scratch that, almost all of us have had an Xbox 360 fail on us at least once or twice. I myself am on my third 360 after two broken 360's in the span of two years. The failure rate on these machines is deplorable...

 
 
 

About Atlasone of us since 7:15 PM on 09.16.2007

First off is my highest honour -- my shit on the front page of Destructoid.


I was born back in the days of yore, when 3-D graphics were only a dream.

I like games.

Super Nintendo had to be one of the best consoles. Mario, Metroid, Link, Kirby, Donkey Kong and everyone else came to the party. Good times.

I own a Super Nintendo, N64, Gamecube, Wii, PS1, PS2, PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360, Gameboy Pocket, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, and a DS.

I regret missing some of the good old days, back in the early 90's, because I was too young to appreciate a good game when it smacked me in the face. Such is the folly of youth.

Somedays I wish I could have lived through such tumultuous times, what with the advent of Spandex tights and Rap, but then I think that it is much better to live longer and be younger than all of you people who did enjoy Super Metroid and Mario Kart in it's heyday and just be content with an emulator and a Xbox 360 controller.


Favorite Games: Mario series, Donkey Kong Country/64, Metroid series, Legend of Zelda series, Fable, Halo series, Shadow of the Colossus, GTA series, God of War 1 and 2, Morrowind, Oblivion, Tales of Symphonia, Final Fantasy X, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and more that I can't recall.


Send me a friends request if you dare, just send a message telling me you're from Destructoid so I don't think you're a 63 year old pedophile masquerading as a teenage girl to lure gullible, young boys to your basement. And if that description both fits you and you are from Destructoid then expect to recieve my home phone number and address.

Update: One year later

New games I would add to my favorites are Gears of Wars series, Fallout 3, Mass Effect, Bioshock (hey, I was playing it when I joined!), and other games I cannot recall. Some games I have loved for a long time but forgot to list over a year ago are Rome: Total War, the top Mario games, and the main Pokemon GB games. The rest escape me at this time.



So these days God no longer compels you to blog, Atlas is Fontaine, and generally speaking I am pretty well known around these parts. (I hope) I regret not joining Destructoid sooner, when I first had the chance with a link from Chad Concelmo's IGN blog. Even he was born in the primordial soup IGN was, or so it would seem. I no longer frequent there or other gaming sites except from time to time because Destructoid is hopefully my internet home from here on out. A great place to be, cheers to another year at Destructoid!

Update: Another year later

Okay, so year three isn't going that great. I haven't blogged for six months and have barely visited the site. In fact, it is nearly November and my 2 years happened almost 2 months ago in early September. Damn life, going outside into the real world is time consuming! I haven't even turned on a videogame since April... (until just recently!) But of course I haven't forgotten about Dtoid; THE GREATEST SITE ON THE WEB! Sorry Dtoid, I will try to live less and Dtoid more.

Update: Another few years later

So life hit me... I still visit this site when I can... to think I started visiting this site when I was 15, and made an account two weeks after I turned 16... I'm 20 now, Destructoid is practically part of my life story at this point, even if I disappear for years at a time. Still, I remember the good old days, the days when Dtoid was like the Wild West, when I was at my most active, and when we would open the gates of Hell in our mischief, always walking on the edge of the banhammer. Now I'm just an ancient, obscure memory to the last surviving cowboys, a group even to this day I feel I'm a part of. Still, I raise my glass to you. Good times Destructoid, good times!

Oh, and to a few of us oldsters, Atlas is Fontaine.

 
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