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Dear Next Level games (Punch-Out impressions):


If you're going to randomly implement a rule after a game's halfway point stating that I will arbitrarily fail a round after getting knocked down three times -- even if those three knockdowns occur in completely different rounds -- then you might want to fucking tell me you've implemented that rule.

Or, better yet, don't fucking implement the rule at all, considering none of the enemies in the game have to abide by that rule, and it turns every single match into a needlessly high-consequence, restart-heavy shitfest where you're completely screwed if you make a few mistakes too early.

I miss Super Punch-Out, when fights weren't awkwardly paced and so intensely memorization-heavy. Remember when power punches were given as a reward for landing combos, rather than for learning a completely arbitrary time to attack someone in such a way that the game decides you deserve a power punch? The original Punch-Out was fine for retro gamers and people who believe that it is perfectly admissible to have to practically memorize a game's code in order to progress -- jesus christ, even the Mega Man games offer some degree of freedom -- but Super Punch-Out took that formula and made it less absurdly punishing and idiotic for newer gamers. That Punch-Out Wii would draw so much inspiration from the first game rather than the second is a bummer.

I don't see myself completing this dumbass Title Defense mode anytime soon.

- -Anthony

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About Anthony Burchone of us since 10:09 PM on 10.01.2006

Lead writer of Borderlands 2, curator of .