The main section of Kevinís home and the tree house happen to be connected by a line that Kevin can climb across, which is a model of responsible parenting. Seriously, itís a two-story fall, and itís as if they thought, ďHey, we might as well train Kevin to be on Ninja Warrior
one day!Ē Then again, I suppose Home Alone
is one big critique of the modern family and its hands-off approach to parenting. Or it might just be a way to cash in on a cute little kid. Whatever.
So, what makes all of this nonsense so difficult? Well, if you can get past the punishing boredom of essentially running around in circles for twenty minutes straight, youíre presented with the harsh reality that youíll be doing this for much, much more than just twenty minutes. See, there are no checkpoints in this game, and no forgiveness. If you happen to last for nineteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds, only to be caught, then itís game over. Youíll start the game again with twenty minutes remaining.
This wouldnít be such a big deal if it werenít so infuriatingly easy to get caught. Little Kevin must suffer from some sort of degenerative leg disorder, because not only does he run like some sort of gremlin, he also does it far more slowly than the Wet Bandits. So, if one of those assholes is on your tail, youíre screwed unless you have an item handy.
Even worse is the inability to see where the two bandits are until theyíre right on top of you. If youíre heading in one direction, and one of them comes at you from the other direction, youíll be caught in a matter of milliseconds. The number of times that youíll be running from one bandit only to have the other one appear directly in front of you is enough to make you want to kill a child. A specific child, but a child nonetheless.
So, just what level of difficulty will you experience in this game? Well, Iíll be impressed when I find a single person who finished this game on the NES. None of this emulator, save state crap that pervades YouTube. If you try to do this right, you will lose. This is not a game that you will beat. It will beat you. Most of the time, I was captured within two minutes. Two freaking minutes.
Those times that I did manage to last about ten minutes were perhaps worse, because I knew that all that progress was immediately made meaningless.
Itís hard to know just what to say about a game like it. People still play it and post videos on YouTube, likely just to make the recurring nightmares from their childhood cease. Itís an absolutely terrible game, surpassed only by its sequel, Home Alone 2
. If ever there were a game that I could call a waste of time, this is it.
LOOK WHO CAME: