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Gears of War II as Written by Terry Pratchett

The universe, conventionally speaking, does not have corners. It has curves. Curves that spin and drop and coil into an infinite patchwork of blackness. And in the upper left-hand corner of this blackness there is a world. The one world...

 
 
 
 
 
 

Missed opportunities: OT Wednesday

I had a really cool project all scheduled for this Off-Topic Wednesday, but it's not finished, so it'll have to wait until next week. Until then, here's something of my own that's very much in progress and totally unrelated to next week's ...

 
 
 

My Cat is Having Trouble in Ninja Gaiden!

Okay, I'm at my wit's end here. One of the toughest parts of the original Ninja Gaiden is memorizing the appearance of birds. Birds have this incredible ability to just kill you instantly in mid-jump. As with the original Castlevania, ge...

 
 
 
 
 
 

A Time to Build: The 3.5" Mix Tape (4 of 3)

Nobody read part 2, and even less nobody will read part 3, so I assume nobody at all will read part 4, even if forced into a room by Vanna White with a light saber. Given that, I figure, this is the place to put those things that every blo...

 
 
 

A Time to Build: 3.5 Mix Tapes (Part 3 of 3)

In 1994, I spent nearly 100 Canadian dollars ordering the Pie in the Sky 3d Game Creation System. I don't think you understand how obsessed I was with sharing content. I owned a total of three FPS games, and that time, one. I barely enjo...

 
 
 

A Time to Build: 3.5 Mix Tapes (Part 2)

There's an episode of Star Trek where permanently furrowed Worf is pining for something klingony (he did that), and somebody gives him a collection of operas on little tubes. They look vaguely like the bars from Fraggle Rock tinted brown. ...

 
 
 

A Time to Build: The 3.5" Mix Tape (1 of 3)

Back in 1993, see, there were these rigid rectangular things that were, for some inexplicable reason, called floppies. A hold-over from the decade of the 5 1/4. A remnant, a hinged gate over a magnetic disc, sandwiched in protective pla...

 
 
 

Game Idea 3: Kari's Kleanomat

Part 3 in a continuing series on game ideas I've had. Part 1 Part 2 When you were a kid, did you every meticulously draw out ideas for games complete with maps, power-ups and hilarious fart art? Sans farts, this is closer to that idea f...

 
 
 
 
 
 

Election Night in the Mushroom Kingdom

Bowser's Final Speech: My fellow United Mushroom Kingdom citizens. Koopas just trying to make an honest coin. Mushroom people. All my goomba friends. This is a momentous occasion. Today you have the chance to vote for change, the ki...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

5 Things I Could Do Without From the Retro Era

The new movement in retro remakes, new games in old franchises, and the continued emulator scene has opened up the gaming world to a slew of dusty disks and an orgy of cartridge blowing. Some of the results have been awesome, and some not ...

 
 
 
 

Review: The Nitrome Oeuvre Part 2 of 2

I managed to do a few more today than expected today. It's been fun, but you'd be surprised how tiring it can be to run through so many carefully tailored games in such a short time and try to come up with something meaningful to say abo...

 
 

About Altered Beetsone of us since 1:32 AM on 09.16.2008

I'm a nine year old Ogilvie Mountain Collared Lemming. My hobbies are skydiving and colour identification (I'm up to 2307!). My top 10 games are, 10. Batman (NES), 9. Reading Rabbit (CPU), 8. Bubble Bobble (PS3), 7. Leaving Las Vegas: The Official Video Game (N64), 6. Ms. Pac Man (Arcade), 5. Final Fantasy II (ROM Hack), 4. Pac Man Plus (Arcade), 3. Baby Pac Man (C64), 2. Gears of War (XBox360), 1. Pac Man (Wii).

I am currently playing Gi Joes.
 
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