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LONG BLOG

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

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I don't know how long this blog post will be. I'm practically speechless because of the love and support I received from my most recent blog post. This community is so kind and generous, as it has always been.

I posted about remastering the Songs for Gamers album (originally called the Destructoid Community Album, but I explained the name change in the blog post). I did it because I have better mastering tools now, than I did back in 2011-2012 when I originally wrote the songs. I thought it would make an amazing holiday gift for everyone, including myself. The music just sounds so much clearer and better. Every song is a memory of a great person, and seeing how it has affected others, makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.

I had asked for financial help, too. It was difficult to do, but I felt like I was in a bad way. I had about 14 dollars to my name until the end of the month. I'm on disability, and I only get 1 sum of money that I have to stretch out. The holiday has drained me more than usual, which is why I was in such a bad way. I thought I could do it, but 14 dollars is probably, at most, a week worth of food (if all I eat is cheese sandwiches).

I received more help than I could fathom. I'm good on food for the rest of the month, and I will put aside the extra for medical bills and emergencies. I'm going to be more proactive, and try to improve my health by eating better, exercising (which I'm no stranger to, just need to get back on the ball), and seeing if there are options to deal with the pain of a herniated disc in my lower back, and sensory processing disorder, which, to me, is the worst thing I've been dealing with my entire life. My sense of touch is so jacked up, that before medication, I was thinking about taking my own life. I'm not comfortable in my own body.

Those suicidal thoughts are in the past. The medication I'm on allows me to function enough to write music, and write music I shall. Since I'm obviously terrible with words, I want to show my appreciation by writing music.

I would like to make at least one more volume for the Songs for Gamers album, which will always be the Destructoid Community Album. So anyone reading this, I'm going to be collecting information just like I did the first two times around. I'm going to reach out to those who have helped me, and asked them what type of music they like, which I will use for inspiration to write their song. I will also ask for a song name. I can try to provide one if one cannot be thought of. Anyone reading this can participate.

There is a bit of a disclaimer. There was originally going to be a volume 3 back in 2012, but changes in my life caused me to have to drop the project. I believe I still have the old documents from people requesting music back then. If so, I will try to reach out to those people as well, to see if they still want a song. The disclaimer is, there is always the possibility, that the album won't happen.

But I want it to happen. I want it more than anything. I want to write music. It's what I do best. And I want to write music for people that will enjoy it. It's not about being known, it's all about the music, and sharing it for free.

My thoughts are a bit unorganized. I feel like this is volume 1 all over again, where I don't know what to do. I have so much energy and drive to write music. Please, if you read this, you can leave a comment requesting a song, and I will reach out to you.

I'm going to finish 2AD14 - III first, which means I will start working on the community album in the beginning of 2015.

Thank you. Thank you so much for being the best gaming community I've ever known. You're my world :)

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About Alphadeusone of us since 4:33 PM on 04.02.2012

I'm just another gamer.