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AMERICA: God's Number One Nation


AMERICA. That is what we are all about on this weekend, the weekend of AMERICA. You see, the United States of America was founded in 1492 when the Minnesota Vikings came from India to kick Squanto's ass. Led by Christopher Columbus, they founded God's Number One Nation, and suddenly an empire was formed.

Since then, no country has ever attempted to refute the claim that the United States of America (named for the Holy Trinity of God, Baby Jesus, and America the Beautiful) is God's Number One Nation, since, well, God would kick their ass if they did.

Oh sure, at one point Britain tried to pretend they could tread on our pride, but George Washington kicked their red coat-wearing asses out of the country faster than you could say "Benedict Arnold."

And now, we have continuously rocked in the free world, with no one slowing us down. We've given the world the most amazing developments in music, like The Beatles, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Celine Dion, and David Bowie. No one denies that God's Number One Nation is the front-runner in literally every facet of human life.

And this weekend? This is the weekend where we recognize it even more than usual. How? By BLOWING SHIT UP!

On this day, my fellow Americans, we all unite under one banner. The American banner. Even if you are not from God's Number One Nation, but some day aspire that you could be in the Land Of The Free, join us in our celebration.


(For you Americans out there who will be having a fun weekend, stay safe. And have a good time. Summer parties are the best parties.)

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About Alakaiserone of us since 1:32 PM on 03.15.2010

The name's Tom. I used to work as an industry guy, and am currently on the hunt for my next paying gig. In the meantime, I'm working on a bunch of different projects that don't help me pay my bills. I write a lot. I'm a musician, although certainly not of the professional variety. I like trying new things and meeting new people. I'm still somewhat new around Destructoid, so sorry in advance if I don't know something I probably should.

About my blog:

I update daily (not really, but I like to pretend). Generally, my updates get pretty long-winded, but hopefully not to the point where they're unreadable. I'll wax poetic about whatever's on my mind, like current events in my life, things that are happening in the video games I like, or whatever happens to pop in my head that day. With a few exceptions, I write my entries the same day I publish them, so they're pretty fresh content-wise. It also might help explain the occasional typos. I do my best to avoid any errors, though.

About my work:

I worked at Harmonix Music Systems as a tester on a year's worth of DLC, The Beatles: Rock Band, Lego Rock Band, and Rock Band Network. Feel free to ask me questions about it, but remember: I'm still under NDA. Also, if you know of a job opening, please tell me about it. I'm flexible.

About my contact info:

Want to collaborate with me on something, big or small, related to the site or not? I'd love to. I like working on any project that I'm even remotely capable of working on, and would love to help you in whatever way I can. Feel free to PM me here, or otherwise send me an email at alakaiser(at)gmail(period)com. Even if you don't want to work with me on something, I'd love to just chat. I'm a pretty friendly guy!

What happened to that thing you did? You know, that one thing?:

I wrote an article that ended up getting promoted to the front page of the site, which is pretty damn cool. It removes it from my cblog archive, though, so I'm throwing a link in this here sidebar for the sake of an archive (and in case I lose the link myself).

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