Behold the miracle of the Pac-Man crisp!

Yes I said crisp, not chip, you empire-disrespecting, uncultured, slack-jawed, American peasants. Only kidding, Jimmy loves you and your charming, jeep-driving ways. But this is indeed a crisp, for it was discovered in jolly old filthy England and might well be a miracle of modern times. Yea verily, it has been discovered that a holy sign was bestowed upon a consumer of Melted Cheese & Ham flavor McCoys Jackets. Wow, we have some awful brand names for our snacks, but hark, what be this I see before me? ‘Tis a sign, a sign from The Lord that yes, Pac-Man has shown His visage to a holy follower.

Everyone knows that Pac-Man is the videogamer’s equivalent of Jesus Christ, as lo, He did come down from on high to bring salvation to the gaming flock. Then Judas IsMariot had to hand him over to those damn Romans. That was ridiculous, I’m sorry. Regardless, the prophet who was touched by His blessing (incidentally called Jim also), spread the gospel that the crisp “tasted the same as the others.” Truly that’s further evidence that He has arrived. Pac-Man Championship Edition was clearly a foretelling of the End Times approaching, when the Four Ghosts of the Apocalypse will ride upon us. But do not fear, for Pac-Man of Namco will save our souls and … I have no bloody idea what I’m talking about.

[Thanks to NamelessTed. Stop talking about my first Dtoid post, asshole.] 


Jim Sterling