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#Utterly pathetic


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Battlefield 4 AXE body spray commercial is ... uh huh ...

Hey kids, do you want to look at something stupid this morning? Look no further than this juicy slice of video idiocy, courtesy of Battlefield 4 and AXE's pore-closin' smell juice! Together, AXE and BF4 celebrate men and women working toge...

 
 
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Final Fantasy: All the Bravest merchandise f*cking exists

Final Fantasy: All the Bravest may well be the sleaziest, scummiest exploitation of a beloved videogame franchise this side of bootlegged Pikachu dolls. The "game" exists solely to leech cash from the "player," but Square Enix isn't done th...

 
 
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Daily Mail claims Sonic made a boy have a heart attack

A 16-year-old boy with Asperger's syndrome and Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome had a heart attack after getting overexcited by Sonic the Hedgehog. The Daily Mail's take on the story? He was, of course, killed by a videogame.  Bri...

 
 
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Pitchford encourages Aliens: Colonial Marines PR tactics

Randy Pitchford is far from ashamed that Aliens: Colonial Marines looked nowhere near as good in real life as it did in highly scripted showcase demos, going so far as to encourage the industry to do it more. According to the Gearbox CEO, t...

 
 
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Dead Rising 3 designed to appeal to Call of Duty fans

In a GameSpot report, Capcom demonstrated exactly how terminally bloody stupid the mainstream game industry truly is, confessing that Dead Rising 3 is planning to appeal to Call of Duty fans. Because of course, following the leader is exact...

 
 
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MS says gamers will buy everything, including Xbox One

Angry about the Xbox One? Put off by Microsoft's increasingly anti-consumer attitude? Company man Phil Spencer isn't worried. In fact, he's confident you'll buy anything it puts out, because that's what gamers do.  "We believe that if ...

 
 
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Microsoft: Xbox One reports 'inaccurate and incomplete'

Microsoft, by way of mouthpiece Major Nelson, has criticized reports on its Xbox One used game policy as "inaccurate and incomplete," seeming to miss the fact they're based entirely on Microsoft's own statements -- which have themselves bee...

 
 
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Biden: No legal reason why 'violent' games can't be taxed

Vice President Joe Biden recently had a meeting with religious leaders to discuss gun control, and violent media was discussed. God forbid we don't obfuscate the gun discussion with more demented strawmen.  Reverend Franklin Graham (so...

 
 
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Star Trek on PC is broken as f*ck!

The latest Star Trek release has its fair share of problems -- chief among them being that it's kind of boring -- but PC users are in for an altogether more shocking problem. The online co-op, arguably the entire point of the game, simply ...

 
 
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Tomb Raider, Hitman, Sleeping Dogs all failed Square Enix

Despite each game clearing at least a million sales, Square Enix has revealed Tomb Raider, Hitman: Absolution and Sleeping Dogs all failed to meet their targets. This news comes on the same day the company projected a 13 billion yen loss an...

 
 
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Sandy Hook shooter allegedly trying to beat a high score

An anonymous "law enforcement veteran" claims the Sandy Hook shooter was comparing "high scores" of previous mass murderers and intended to beat a record. According to this totally responsible and not-at-all reckless source, Sandy Hook was ...

 
 
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EA censors its own support number on its forums

[Editor's note: As I indicated in the third paragraph, I assumed that blocking the phone number on the forums has likely been a long-standing practice. As ZiggyMoff posted in the comments, Valve does something similar -- replaces the phone ...

 
 
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Teen shoots parents with pistol, blames violent games

A Washington state teen has been charged with murder, the 14-year-old having shot his mother and father in the head after he was grounded from electronic devices. Nathon Brooks may be tried as an adult for the crime, though reports sug...

 
 
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Zynga: Copying games is no big deal, don't worry about it

"Zynga is often accused of copying games, which is mostly true." Those were the words spoken by Dan Porter, General Manager of Zynga New York. It's no secret to anyone with the capacity for rational thought that the social gaming madhouse h...

 
 
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Donkey Kong also got ripped off for an iOS game

What was that saying again? "When it rains, it pours"? The Android developer who released a game unwittingly starring Yoshi may have been able to cover his ass -- albeit barely -- but there is no way in hell that the mastermind behind Krazy...

 
 
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EA plans a future of micro-transactions (Update)

[Update: According to TheSixthAxis, EA's CFO "misspoke" on the subject of game prices, and is actually expecting games to cost between $49 and $59, rather than the $69 he original talked about. Don't worry, they can always make up that miss...

 
 
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Square Enix confirms new Final Fantasy game for PS4

... and that's LITERALLY all Square Enix did.  "Be excited for E3," said the publisher.  Yes, an announcement of an announcement. We're heading to a new generation ... but apparently plenty of old behavior is carrying over. 

 
 
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This ass is selling 40+ copies of Hyrule Historia LE

I've got myself a copy of the Zelda series bible Hyrule Historia, and it's as amazing as everyone says. However, for highly appealing ancillary game merch such as art books, I like to splurge a little extra on fancy collector's editions jus...

 
 
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CNN host tries and fails to link videogames to violence

CNN's Erin Burnett last night tried desperately to make a psychologist blame videogames for gun violence, attempting to coerce him into agreeing with her that "violent" games make people more likely to kill.  "There's a saying that gu...

 
 
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US senator definitively claims games are worse than guns

Many politicians will heavily imply that videogames are far more lethal than weapons designed to be lethal, but U.S. Senator Lamar Alexander has taken the idiot ball and ran for the hills with it clasped in his gnarled talons. He strai...

 
 
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Capcom: No RE Revelations on Vita because REASONS

After dancing around the rumors for a while, Capcom finally announced that Resident Evil Revelations for the 3DS is being ported to PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, and PC. As inconspicuous as a gushing head wound is PS Vita's total absence from the l...

 
 
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Leland Yee: Gamers have no credibility in violence debate

Leland Yee, a man famous for lying about videogames and draining huge amounts of tax money in his war on the industry, has suggested those affected by his bullshit should keep their mouths shut. According to the hypocritical liar, we care f...

 
 
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Ralph Nader: videogames are electronic child molesters

Former politician and consumer advocate Ralph Nader has decided to throw his lot in with the perpetrators of moral panic, writing off videogames as "electronic child molesters." Talk about a socially responsible statement! The jab at v...

 
 
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NRA launchs iOS game for children aged four and up

Despite slamming the videogame industry -- and the nature of free expression -- for promoting gun violence, the National Rifle Association isn't afraid to double down on its hypocrisy. The gun advocacy group has released a shooting game for...

 
 
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Videogames now accused of giving children cancer

British tabloid the Mirror has decided to try something a little different. With its peers implicating videogames in school shootings, this particular rag has a new approach -- blaming games for giving kids cancer.  Interestingly,...

 
 




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JohnSmith123

Aside from subscription, would you say theres a difference between a MMO and a live service game?

 
Riff Raff

In my day it was finding the kid who stole Hustler or Penthouse from his dad or the drugstore and then the crew took turns bringing it And once there was a VHS making its Twas glorious! Then we discovered scrambled adult channels :)

 
Parismio

Not only this is this the funniest thing Ive read so far but it also has a little torchman in

 
TheLimoMaker

My five anticipated games of Links Awakening (never played it), Catherine Full Body and Borderlands 3 are just below this

 
bong264

Welp I just finished Warhammer Chaosbane and my final XBLA Also the main villains reason for being a villain is extremely fucking stupid and doesnt match up with the fucking Yeah if you are interested in it,get it cheap

 
JcDent

This is terrible, just get normal

 
Electric Reaper

So, apparently a server error can wipe out all my Thanks a lot, Pearson Those fucking incompetent I wish theyd go

 
TheIntern

Catch a

 
dephoenix

Were a little over halfway through the year so I thought it might be fun to share the five games that have yet to release we are most looking forward I got Dragon Quest Builders 2, Luigis Mansion 3, Astral Chain, Super Mario Maker 2, & DOOM

 
Boxman214

This is fun

 
 

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