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#Utterly Pathetic


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Battlefield 4 AXE body spray commercial is ... uh huh ...

Hey kids, do you want to look at something stupid this morning? Look no further than this juicy slice of video idiocy, courtesy of Battlefield 4 and AXE's pore-closin' smell juice! Together, AXE and BF4 celebrate men and women working toge...   read

 
 
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Final Fantasy: All the Bravest merchandise f*cking exists

Final Fantasy: All the Bravest may well be the sleaziest, scummiest exploitation of a beloved videogame franchise this side of bootlegged Pikachu dolls. The "game" exists solely to leech cash from the "player," but Square Enix isn't done th...   read

 
 

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Daily Mail claims Sonic made a boy have a heart attack

A 16-year-old boy with Asperger's syndrome and Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome had a heart attack after getting overexcited by Sonic the Hedgehog. The Daily Mail's take on the story? He was, of course, killed by a videogame.  Bri...   read

 
 
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Pitchford encourages Aliens: Colonial Marines PR tactics

Randy Pitchford is far from ashamed that Aliens: Colonial Marines looked nowhere near as good in real life as it did in highly scripted showcase demos, going so far as to encourage the industry to do it more. According to the Gearbox CEO, t...   read

 
 
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Dead Rising 3 designed to appeal to Call of Duty fans

In a GameSpot report, Capcom demonstrated exactly how terminally bloody stupid the mainstream game industry truly is, confessing that Dead Rising 3 is planning to appeal to Call of Duty fans. Because of course, following the leader is exact...   read

 
 
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MS says gamers will buy everything, including Xbox One

Angry about the Xbox One? Put off by Microsoft's increasingly anti-consumer attitude? Company man Phil Spencer isn't worried. In fact, he's confident you'll buy anything it puts out, because that's what gamers do.  "We believe that if ...   read

 
 
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Microsoft: Xbox One reports 'inaccurate and incomplete'

Microsoft, by way of mouthpiece Major Nelson, has criticized reports on its Xbox One used game policy as "inaccurate and incomplete," seeming to miss the fact they're based entirely on Microsoft's own statements -- which have themselves bee...   read

 
 
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Biden: No legal reason why 'violent' games can't be taxed

Vice President Joe Biden recently had a meeting with religious leaders to discuss gun control, and violent media was discussed. God forbid we don't obfuscate the gun discussion with more demented strawmen.  Reverend Franklin Graham (so...   read

 
 
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Star Trek on PC is broken as f*ck!

The latest Star Trek release has its fair share of problems -- chief among them being that it's kind of boring -- but PC users are in for an altogether more shocking problem. The online co-op, arguably the entire point of the game, simply ...   read

 
 
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Tomb Raider misses mark

Tomb Raider, Hitman, Sleeping Dogs all failed Square Enix

Despite each game clearing at least a million sales, Square Enix has revealed Tomb Raider, Hitman: Absolution and Sleeping Dogs all failed to meet their targets. This news comes on the same day the company projected a 13 billion yen loss an...   read

 
 


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Sandy Hook shooter allegedly trying to beat a high score

An anonymous "law enforcement veteran" claims the Sandy Hook shooter was comparing "high scores" of previous mass murderers and intended to beat a record. According to this totally responsible and not-at-all reckless source, Sandy Hook was ...   read

 
 
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EA being EA

EA censors its own support number on its forums

[Editor's note: As I indicated in the third paragraph, I assumed that blocking the phone number on the forums has likely been a long-standing practice. As ZiggyMoff posted in the comments, Valve does something similar -- replaces the phone ...   read

 
 
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'Violent games' defense

Teen shoots parents with pistol, blames violent games

A Washington state teen has been charged with murder, the 14-year-old having shot his mother and father in the head after he was grounded from electronic devices. Nathon Brooks may be tried as an adult for the crime, though reports sug...   read

 
 
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Zynga silliness

Zynga: Copying games is no big deal, don't worry about it

"Zynga is often accused of copying games, which is mostly true." Those were the words spoken by Dan Porter, General Manager of Zynga New York. It's no secret to anyone with the capacity for rational thought that the social gaming madhouse h...   read

 
 
Donkey Kong rip-off photo
Donkey Kong rip-off

Donkey Kong also got ripped off for an iOS game

What was that saying again? "When it rains, it pours"? The Android developer who released a game unwittingly starring Yoshi may have been able to cover his ass -- albeit barely -- but there is no way in hell that the mastermind behind Krazy...   read

 
 
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EA micro-transactions

EA plans a future of micro-transactions (Update)

[Update: According to TheSixthAxis, EA's CFO "misspoke" on the subject of game prices, and is actually expecting games to cost between $49 and $59, rather than the $69 he original talked about. Don't worry, they can always make up that miss...   read

 
 
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Square Enix confirms new Final Fantasy game for PS4

... and that's LITERALLY all Square Enix did.  "Be excited for E3," said the publisher.  Yes, an announcement of an announcement. We're heading to a new generation ... but apparently plenty of old behavior is carrying over.    read

 
 
Hyrule Historia jerk photo
Hyrule Historia jerk

This ass is selling 40+ copies of Hyrule Historia LE

I've got myself a copy of the Zelda series bible Hyrule Historia, and it's as amazing as everyone says. However, for highly appealing ancillary game merch such as art books, I like to splurge a little extra on fancy collector's editions jus...   read

 
 
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JOURNALISM
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CNN host tries and fails to link videogames to violence

CNN's Erin Burnett last night tried desperately to make a psychologist blame videogames for gun violence, attempting to coerce him into agreeing with her that "violent" games make people more likely to kill.  "There's a saying that gu...   read

 
 
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US senator definitively claims games are worse than guns

Many politicians will heavily imply that videogames are far more lethal than weapons designed to be lethal, but U.S. Senator Lamar Alexander has taken the idiot ball and ran for the hills with it clasped in his gnarled talons. He strai...   read

 
 
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Resident Evil Revelations

Capcom: No RE Revelations on Vita because REASONS

After dancing around the rumors for a while, Capcom finally announced that Resident Evil Revelations for the 3DS is being ported to PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, and PC. As inconspicuous as a gushing head wound is PS Vita's total absence from the l...   read

 
 
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Violence debate

Leland Yee: Gamers have no credibility in violence debate

Leland Yee, a man famous for lying about videogames and draining huge amounts of tax money in his war on the industry, has suggested those affected by his bullshit should keep their mouths shut. According to the hypocritical liar, we care f...   read

 
 
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Ralph Nader: videogames are electronic child molesters

Former politician and consumer advocate Ralph Nader has decided to throw his lot in with the perpetrators of moral panic, writing off videogames as "electronic child molesters." Talk about a socially responsible statement! The jab at v...   read

 
 
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NRA launchs iOS game for children aged four and up

Despite slamming the videogame industry -- and the nature of free expression -- for promoting gun violence, the National Rifle Association isn't afraid to double down on its hypocrisy. The gun advocacy group has released a shooting game for...   read

 
 
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Videogames now accused of giving children cancer

British tabloid the Mirror has decided to try something a little different. With its peers implicating videogames in school shootings, this particular rag has a new approach -- blaming games for giving kids cancer.  Interestingly,...   read

 
 


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Community expand | +quickpost

Bobbety F

At the end of Enduro, I drove to the supermarket & picked up subtitles to share with you:-)

 
TysonOfTime

Well, heres that I Am Setsuna follow Looks Beautiful environments, but Im not sure about the Considering what Ive heard and breifly played of Setsuna wasnt too promising, heres hoping theres

 
yomiura

Finish Rime I am more confuse that when I started the

 
FakePlasticTree

Yakuza 7 news today! Crossing fingers for a potential Yakuza 2 Remake

 
TheZeroOne

I am super excited for the Wonder Woman Ive heard some good things but trying not to spoil myself too much by reading or watching Also man, that Dat

 
BarnacleBritches

Im gonna miss Drill Queen on The Jimquisition quite a but the new theme is really fucking

 
Pixie The Fairy

Hit 60 this weekend on Warrior in FFXIV, allowing me to don the eastern-themed Warrior Artifact 2 armor and my Padjali Almost done with Heavensward, I look funny in this The mightiest Warrior is the smallest

 
JcDent

Wrote some thoughts on playing small in then 8th edition of Warhammer Come, disagree violently with me!

 
Shibboleth

Salt and Sanctuary in co-op is a blast, but these item/progress-blocking glitches suck ass! Protip: keep co-op and single-player characters separate so you dont run into this

 

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