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#Satire


 
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Husband and wife co-op weekend ruins world record Gamerscore

In what can only be considered a monumental mistake, Xbox gamer Ray 'Stallone83' Cox lost his 'highest Gamerscore' world record, which he has held for eleven years straight, after he stopped gaming momentarily to have marital relations with...

 
 
 from  flixist
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Four patriotic movies to watch on the Fourth of July

The most patriotic of our major American holidays is upon us and for many that means barbeques, a day off from work, and fireworks. But me? Barbeques aren't the same for me since I don't eat meat, I work today because freedom ain't free,...

 
 
 
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Zelda fans! Watch Link shoot Ganon with his nipples

How many of you are holding farts down in your chairs twenty times a day? Sure, you indulge yourself like a Chinatown trash compactor, but have you ever considered that you might be lactose intolerant? Studies indicate that 75% of gamers wh...

 
 
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$1200 Titan XP video card vs. a video card from 1988

Don't talk to Bronson Pinchot. Don't cross the street without consulting two gays. Don't Instagram wild animals. Don't work at a video game blog. And never miss your rent payment because you bought a $1200 video card. Especially this one.&n...

 
 
 
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I want to have sex with Carmen Sandiego

[Originally published on Destructoid back in 2006! Some photos were lost/replaced, otherwise minor edits made. A Burch classic! For dumb people: this is satire - Niero.] 3D-Rendered, big-buxomed women with identical blank stares do absolute...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 from  our Community Blogs
 
 
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What the fockemon is a kilometer?

The kilometre (International spelling as used by people that live in castles; SI symbol: km) or kilometer (Official Great Nation Under God spelling) is a unit of length in the metric system, the precise distance between every Starbucks, and...

 
 
 
 
showing you his Pokemons photo

Why Ekans is the best Pokemon

[Published in 2010, this classic Destructoid moment from Jim delivers the facts you need today.  - Niero] There are almost 500 Pokémon in the world, and that's a lot. With so many unique and varied pocket monsters out ...

 
 
 
 
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Mega64 spills the beans on God of War 4

Mega64 is still around and just as great as ever, as seen above in this "leaked" God of War 4 footage. Did you know in the upcoming game, not only does Kratos take on Norse mythology, but all the other popular religions too? I just wa...

 
 
 
 
 




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Horizon Chase Turbo"It's time to burn dust! Eat my rubber!"

 

The Equalizer 2"One good original plus one bad sequel equals zero net gain"

 

The Lion's Song"A mighty roar"

 

Tanzia"A modern PS2 game"

 

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker"The pixel toad noises have been burned into my mind"

 

Mothergunship"Can't wait for Dadpunchplane"

 

Danger Zone 2"Still no Kenny Loggins"

 

Octopath Traveler"Eight heroes are better than one?"

 
 
 

Community Blogs | expand

 

Quickposts expand | +quickpost

Alphadeus

Bandcamp lets you offer your entire discography for sale, but you gotta put a price on at least 1 So I did, and now you can get my entire discography for :p

 
Shoggoth2588

I cooked again! One day Im going to get Omurice down Today wasnt that day but it was still

 
Kerrik52

I didnt believe this for a second, but still, fuck you for even trying to equate a Hip Hop band with the same name to the one and only Dio, Also, its kinda creepy that they look over my song collection and give me notifications based on

 
Gajknight

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, she calls How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer Some dance to remember, some dance to

 
Jiraya

Downloading the RE4 HD textures, oh boy here we go !

 
SrChurros

Heck yeah, Ive got some money from my father as a gift for graduating last year! With this + a bit of my savings Ill be getting myself an entry level gaming laptop for gaming + Guess Ill also be able to join the hunt next month!

 
mullon

Alright Yacht Club, this is getting The last Shovel Knight expansion didnt take this Nobody cares about your dumb card

 
Chris Moyse

A while ago, I was asked to write about a bunch of Video Nasties for a special issue of Starburst I just came across it in the store :) (*EDIT* Rewrite of sentence that could be misconstrued)

 
Sfero

Splatfests are just modern day trials by

 
SpielerDad

Someone at the office over did it with the cologne

 
 

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