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$1200 Titan XP video card vs. a video card from 1988

Don't talk to Bronson Pinchot. Don't cross the street without consulting two gays. Don't Instagram wild animals. Don't work at a video game blog. And never miss your rent payment because you bought a $1200 video card. Especially this one.&n...   read

 
 
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Gearbox announces new partnership with guy in oversized trench coat (Fauxclusive)

Following the demise of its poorly planned deal with gray market reseller G2A, Gearbox announced today any new partnerships the company makes will only be with retailers that are on the complete up-and-up, such as its new deal with a guy on...   read

 
 

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8===D

I want to have sex with Carmen Sandiego

[Originally published on Destructoid back in 2006! Some photos were lost/replaced, otherwise minor edits made. A Burch classic! For dumb people: this is satire - Niero.] 3D-Rendered, big-buxomed women with identical blank stares do absolute...   read

 
 
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Nintendo hires second sloth at NES Classic factory (Fauxclusive)

Following news that Nintendo is ramping up efforts to produce more Switch units, the company also announced it will double the workforce at the facility manufacturing the NES Classic by hiring a second sloth. The sloth, named Màn, i...   read

 
 
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Massive Switch dev kit leak proves console is powered by two hamster wheels (Fauxclusive)

Just weeks before it’s set to hit stores, an unidentified developer leaked a boatload of information about the Switch dev kit issued by Nintendo, confirming reports the handheld-console hybrid is in fact powered by two hamsters in ham...   read

 
 
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New GameStop policy requires employees to ask customers why the hell they still shop there (Fauxclusive)

Following a scathing report on a store policy that could lead employees to lie to customers, GameStop announced today a new policy that will require employees to ask customers why in God's name are they still shopping at GameStop. Set to ta...   read

 
 
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Madden 17 earns AO rating with 'Locker Room Talk' update (Fauxclusive)

Madden NFL 17 has been called the most realistic and complete football game ever made. With weekly commentary updates and real-time roster changes, the drama of professional football has never before been captured so genuinely in a vid...   read

 
 
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  Preview

NSFW: Haydee is all about butts, and of course there's a nudity mod

Haydee, if you haven't heard, is the ass-to-face indie puzzler that's been turning heads all week for its glorious robottocks(tm) and otherwise awful, unintuitive, punishing gameplay that roguelike-lovers crave. Former Destructoid editor a...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Things that are more controversial than the new Deus Ex

You know what's an awful thing no one should ever do, because of how wrong it is and how bad it makes you look? Jumping on controversy [~600 comments! -Ed.] for the simple reason of gaining popularity and notice. I wouldn't do tha...   read

 
 
Pokemon Go photo
Pokemon Go

Pokemon Go update to provide players with some goddamn common sense (Fauxclusive)

Following a seemingly endless supply of stories about Pokémon Go players hurting themselves, getting into accidents, and wandering into places they shouldn't be, developer Niantic announced today an update for the popular app that wi...   read

 
 


Pokemengs photo
Pokemengs

What the fockemon is a kilometer?

The kilometre (International spelling as used by people that live in castles; SI symbol: km) or kilometer (Official Great Nation Under God spelling) is a unit of length in the metric system, the precise distance between every Starbucks, and...   read

 
 
Thoughts & Prayers photo
Thoughts & Prayers

Fight against rampant gun death in Thoughts & Prayers: The Game

There have been 1,000 mass shootings in America over the last 3.5 years. That's almost good for a rate of one per day, though we only see the highlights make national news, like when 49 were killed in Orlando (another 53 injured) in the dea...   read

 
 
Death Threats photo
Death Threats

Sociopathic gamer's death threats just aren't what they used to be (Fauxclusive)

Deleting a poorly constructed sentence detailing his plan to skin a game developer alive, perpetually angry gamer Marsten Cally admitted today his heart is no longer in the vile, disgusting death threats he sends out.   read

 
 
showing you his Pokemons photo
showing you his Pokemons

Why Ekans is the best Pokemon

[Published in 2010, this classic Destructoid moment from Jim delivers the facts you need today.  - Niero] There are almost 500 Pokémon in the world, and that's a lot. With so many unique and varied pocket monsters out ...   read

 
 
"Censorship"

Publisher of obscure JRPG censors outfit just for the attention (Fauxclusive)

Unable to garner any media coverage for its upcoming JRPG, the publisher of Sun Blanket Star Pastry Chef ReB;rth confirmed today it has altered one of the costumes in the game just so somebody would start paying attention to it. Kevin ...   read

 
 
Crunch Time photo
Crunch Time

Family says goodbye to father as game development hits crunch time (Fauxclusive)

Admitting he didn't know when he was going to see them again, 3D environment artist Kevin Huang gave his kids an extra long hug this morning, before heading out to face development crunch time. Mouthing "I love you" to his wife, Huang wiped...   read

 
 
Leaky pipes photo
Leaky pipes
  Preview

Mega64 spills the beans on God of War 4

Mega64 is still around and just as great as ever, as seen above in this "leaked" God of War 4 footage. Did you know in the upcoming game, not only does Kratos take on Norse mythology, but all the other popular religions too? I just wa...   read

 
 
90s Reference photo
90s Reference

Arms manufacturer in hot water over Super Scope-inspired rocket launcher (Fauxclusive)

A North Carolina arms manufacturer is facing backlash today after it posted a picture on Instagram of its new shoulder mounted rocket launcher modeled after the SNES Super Scope. The man-portable air-defense-system, known as the Blitzkrieg ...   read

 
 
Rock Band photo
Rock Band

Harmonix announces bake sale to fund Rock Band PC port (Fauxclusive)

Following the failure of its well-publicized Fig campaign, developer Harmonix announced today it is not giving up its plan to bring the "popular" Rock Band video game to PC. If crowdfunding won't work, the company says it will turn to a tri...   read

 
 
Publicity Suicide photo
Publicity Suicide

Digital Homicide hopes to use lawsuit winnings for game development classes (Fauxclusive)

Steam developer Digital Homicide Studios made headlines last week when it announced it was suing caustic YouTube personality, former Destructoid reviews editor, and owner of the world's largest collection of t-shirts you get from winning ea...   read

 
 
Nintendo photo
Nintendo

Nintendo fondly remembers a time when it wasn't told to go fuck itself (Fauxclusive)

While welcoming new employees to the Nintendo Tokyo Office, Shigeru Miyamoto fondly recalled a time in the company’s history when it wasn’t told go fuck itself whenever it announced a new game. Miyamoto, best known for creating ...   read

 
 
HTC Vive photo
HTC Vive

Potential HTC Vive customer wonders how much kidney will fetch on the black market (Fauxclusive)

Following the announcement of international pricing for the HTC Vive, Brighton resident and VR gaming enthusiast Aaron Finnick began poking the left side of his body trying to guess how much his kidney would be worth on the open market. The...   read

 
 
Sports photo
Sports

Playing sports video games increases the risk of playing real sports

Most gamers scoff at the suggestion that video games can influence real life behavior. "I've been playing violent video games my whole life and I turned out all right!" we say, citing anecdotal evidence as fact. Well, sorry to say, a new st...   read

 
 
Kickfail photo
Kickfail

Honest Kickstarter details exactly how it'll waste your money (Fauxclusive)

Following allegations of behind-the-scenes financial misconduct with the crowdfunded Ant Simulator game, the team behind a newly-launched Kickstarter campaign is now promising complete transparency with how it will ultimately blow...   read

 
 
Bad Updates photo
Bad Updates

New Vita update physically attacks anyone who tries to play with it (Fauxclusive)

In its continuing efforts to convince fans to finally let go of the PlayStation Vita, Sony released an update for the device earlier this week that caused a wide variety of problems, including making it nearly impossible to connect to the P...   read

 
 


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Community expand | +quickpost

AdmiralAckbong

I may be getting less than 5 hours of sleep tonight before my 6am shift but goddammit I had a great time and Im learning to live and love life by Hope you all have a great and more rested day!

 
Nathan D

This made me

 
NeoTurbo

Once more Id like to say that Im doing a poll for my first game stream ever! Ill be making my decision by NOON tomorrow (MT), so get your votes in now! Link in the comments! EDIT: LESS THAN 12 HOURS LEFT TO VOTE BEFORE I CALL IT!!!

 
Derryck

Have a wonderful beginning of the week, everyone! ♥

 
indigit4l

Okay so 20 yrs later I finally watched that David Fincher movie Lost Highway and Is it one of those movies people recommend to their friends like, hey I had to watch it so Im going to make you, or is it something that was deemed good in the 90s?

 
Bob The God Lawyer

Thats the last Goodbye horrible horrible job!

 
CoilWhine

Today I got the Platnium Trophy for Resistance Burning Skies with the help of some rando from Reddit, watched Alien for the first time, and updated the A9LH CFW on my 3DS to Very eventful Gonna play GR Remastered on PS4 as Platnium #15

 
Rad Party God

Can I I mean, include Bayonetta and Vanquish in my GOTY 2017 list? Damn!

 
Seymour

Also, the latest COTW inspired me to order this and further add to my collection of hot-ass I have so many at this point that I might do a whole blog about em!

 
Seymour

I remember seeing a few folk paranoid about Chris sentiments of RiME playing on Having played it for about 3-4 hours (of actual progression), I think thats a tad Its definitely easy on you, but not to any insane

 

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