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#Destructoid Golden Archives


Haggar for President photo
Haggar for President

Citizens, unite: vote Mike Haggar

[Another gem from Destructoid's Golden Archives, this our most popular story of April 2008] As you’ve no doubt been following the prospective U.S. presidential nominees, you must be asking yourself several questions: Who should I...   read

 
 
Everyone is gay photo
Everyone is gay

Ten golden rules of online gaming

[Destructoid turns 7 next week! Here's our most popular article from January 2009, one of Jim's first features. Check out more of our earlier works in our Golden Archives. -Niero] People have been hunched over their PCs, firing rockets into...   read

 
 
Game quotes photo
Game quotes

The ten most meaningful videogame quotes of all time

[This month, Destructoid turns 7 years old! Here's the top article of this weekend back in 2008. You can browse more of these in our Golden Archives. Nostalgic yet? -Niero] Call me a weakling, but it's been more or less forever since I last...   read

 
 
Mario is sinister photo
Mario is sinister

Six sinister things about Super Mario

[Destructoid turns 7 on March 16, 2013! I'm celebrating early by repairing some of my favorite articles from our Wordpress days. You'll be able to browse this original collection soon -- "Destructoid's Golden Archives" is hereby instituted ...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Ramblings of a colorblind gamer

You may or may not know that I am red-green colorblind. Money looks grey to me, pink looks white, brown looks green. No big thing. Since I was born colorblind, I have no frame of reference for how the world is "supposed" to look and, theref...   read

 
 
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Videogames that make you feel godly

Videogames provide the perfect tools for pure escapism or utter powerlessness. As a fully interactive media, the player can be as involved as the developer in the fate of our characters, or we can be utterly impotent in swaying our destiny,...   read

 
 
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The REAL top ten games of the decade

You've doubtless read by now the "official" top ten games of the decade, or indeed any of the top ten game lists that have spilled onto the Internet as the so-called "naughties" ends and 2010 ushers in yet another arbitrarily assigned ten-y...   read

 
 
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  Watch Video

Rev Rant: Donate

Every week, "Reverend" Anthony Burch talks about aspects of game design and gamer culture in his weekly "Rev Rant" video series. Admittedly, this week's rant turned out a lot more angry and weirdly serious than the other ones I've done -- ...   read

 
 
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How Killzone 2 is blatantly better than Halo 3

Killzone 2 launched exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this Friday, generating much bias from biased people who are biased. It also sold quite a few copies and has been setting the PlayStation Network afire with grenade spam and shotgun ramp...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Playing With Others: Gaining acceptance

[Editor's note: neveranything shares with us a very heartwarming story on how videogames helped him make new friends for his Monthly Musing piece. -- CTZ] Throughout elementary and middle school, I was the textbook definition of a bully ta...   read

 
 
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The Videogame Bosses' Guide to Success

So you aspire to be a roadblock in the path of every hero, a hulking shadow that ominously hangs over the hopes and dreams of normal people, the guy that makes babies squall at your very approach. I know you. You've turned many a pleasant g...   read

 
 
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From our community  

A Time to Destroy: The games that destroy us

[Editor's note: Tony Ponce, which we only knew as "megaStryke" when this was published, looks at three games that have destroyed people's bodies for his A Time to Destroy Monthly Musing. In 2012 he joined the Dtoid team as an associate edit...   read

 
 
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Being a solo gamer in a multiplayer world

Being a gamer over 30 means that you likely fell in love with gaming a long time ago. For me, that affair started around age 6, as my uncle showed me the Atari and I prowled through his Commodore 64 collection, wondering what the stone that...   read

 
 
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Hail the freak: 36 WoW accounts, played simultaneously. By a freak

I submit evidence of one man, which I am going to use to paint all World of Warcraft players as subhuman scumworms who deserve to be shot. This creature owns 36 WoW accounts, plays them at the same time on 11 computers, and goes on solo rai...   read

 
 
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Thirty rubbish Pokemon: Red/Blue edition

As readers will know, I recently confessed my closet Pokémon fandom and am celebrating my newfound liberation with a selection of Pokémon-themed articles for those who also like to throw hard metal balls at fluffy wild animals...   read

 
 
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Six ways in which Pokemon really bothers me

Believe it or not, I really like Pokémon. I've been a big fan of the series since I was a child, but even though my interest in the series diminished as I got older, I still find myself dipping back into the monster-catching stupidit...   read

 
 
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Ten Golden Rules of action games

There really is nothing quite like a good old-fashioned action game. From God of War to Bujingai, they are the bread and butter of a lifelong gamer's diet. A third-person mixture of combat and exploration, it is a genre absolutely packed fu...   read

 
 
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Ten Golden Rules of the anti-videogames lobby

We have had many useful commandments for loyal readers over the course of our Ten Golden Rules series. From learning how to be an online gamer and fanboy, to crafting a successful JRPG or Survival Horror, there have been failsafe doctrines ...   read

 
 
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Ten golden rules of videogame fanboyism

What industry can truly call itself an industry without fanboys? Those who prove themselves obsessively loyal to any product or corporation can be found among many communities, and nowhere do they flourish more freely than within gamer cult...   read

 
 
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There's no such thing as a perfect game: why 10/10 shouldn't mean "flawless"

So, I'm reading Topher's Ikaruga review and the comments resulting from it. Other than the usual half-ironic cries of "biased!" and "Anthony would have given this a 4!", I saw many repetitions of one particular sentiment that I feel deserv...   read

 
 
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Ten golden rules of survival horror

By our very nature, we as people are drawn to the dark. We may not like to admit it, but our macabre instincts thirst for blood, as we find ourselves morbidly drawn to brutality and violence. It is no surprise that horror is such a popular ...   read

 
 
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Ten golden rules of Japanese RPGs

The JRPG is a venerable and well respected genre, having survived almost unchanged for decades and supported by a community of hardcore obsessives that drool over every statistic and sweeping, globe trotting storyline that comes their way. ...   read

 
 
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Shadow of the Colossus' controls are an exercise in art

Artsy wonks like myself love to wax philosophic about the potential that games have in terms of narration or eliciting meaningful, emotional player responses. We laud innovative game designers for forcing us to make morally ambiguous choice...   read

 
 
These guys suck photo
These guys suck

Five videogame characters who suck at their jobs

In general, our videogame protagonists need a set context for their lives before being thrust into action and adventure. Mario can't just be a dude with a goomba-stomping fetish; he has to be a plumber. Marcus Fenix can't just be some chain...   read

 
 
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From Russia with pixels; the coolest picture you'll see today

[Updated with the 2005 and 2010 version! Remember Nex? This odd illustration still ranks amongst the most popular in the Destructoid Golden Archive; stories which I'm slowly restoring from our old publishing system. Join us a...   read

 
 
Earnest CavalliFeatured blogger

I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have ...

 


 


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The Last Guardian"Hopefully not the last from Team Ico"

 

Dead Rising 4"Home Alone 2: Lost in Willamette"

 

How We Soar"Love lift us up where we belong"

 

Oculus Touch"Touch the sky, but don't deadzone"

 

I Expect You To Die"Yes! Mr. Bond"

 

Review in Progress: Let it Die"Grasshopper is back"

 
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Community expand | +quickpost

dephoenix

OMFG I HATE YOUTUBES NEW VIDEO Idk if anyone else has experienced problems with it, but it has a tendency to cause my tabs to become unresponsive when a video I had one on for background noise while writing my 1st blog and now its all GONE

 
lokhe

Was watching a dance show a couple of days ago and some of the music reminded me of games so I thought to myself; why has no one ever put together like a ballet using games music? Would be pretty

 
Morpho

I bet a lot of fucking people here are playing Pokemon Sun and Moon, am I right? Level with me (pun), is the game funny? I hear shit about how inept Team Skull is, and I gotta say, if even half the jokes are true, I wanna see it for

 
Electric Reaper

I just beat an arena in NeonXSZ that consisted of several tunnel segments and massive spinning Whats the craziest arena youve encountered in a video game?

 
Jed Whitaker

Introducing Banana Reviews where I, professional and very handsome video game critic, Jed Whitaker review The Last

 
RenaudB90

Now Im no Nep expert, but as Spider-Man I will say this: If you cant even trust Torchman to pick a halfway decent waifu, why would you entrust him with the great power and great responsibility that comes with being Top Nep?

 
DeadMoon

Ive never even played a Neptunia I just really wanted this badass #ConfessionToid

 
BarnacleBritches

So this nep

 
Dinosir

Man qposts have lately devolved into a bunch if nepsense

 
Amna Umen

BORN TO NEP WORLD IS A NEP KILL EM ALL 20XX I am Nep Man 410,757,864,530 DEAD NEPS

 

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