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Wanking Simulator achieves release this fall

I'd normally save this sort of thing for my weekly weird games roundup, but I was too excited to restrain myself. I was practically turgid with anticipation, and the only way to sate my raging emotion was to whip it out and spread the news ...

 
 
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Contest: Win a Switch copy of Safety First!

The name of the game is safety in today's contest for a Switch copy of Safety First! I don't think I've ever been this happy in my entire life. Seriously. Well, maybe once. But this is definitely the second happiest I've ever been. And it's...

 
 
 
 
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Keep your dingus warm in SCUM's Winter update

Tis the season for murdering each other on a prison island, so SCUM is getting into the festivities with a new update. To get your winter wonderland on, players will be able to explore a snow covered map, get into snowball fights and sled d...

 
 
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Contest: Win Breathedge for Steam

Ready for some more free games? Today Breathedge is up for grabs -- don't miss out on this contest! I don't know of many games where an immortal chicken is used as a tool to break things, plug leaky pipes, and scan electronic equipment. In ...

 
 
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Review: Genital Jousting

Gaming is such a strange and wonderful hobby. You can play in recreations of history’s greatest moments, explore alien planets, race in futuristic space craft and now play as a big floppy penis that is trying to insert itself in the a...

 
 
 
 from  japanator
 
 
 
 from  our Community Blogs
 
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From our community  

How to Self-Destructoid

[With emotions riding high in the community, Deadmoon shares with us why exactly it is he loves this crazy, broken Dtoid family. <3 ~ JuIc3] A lot of my friends make fun of me when I tell them that I'm an active part of an online communi...

 
 
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My introduction to the Destructoid tip line

So, one of the main benefits of joining the writing staff here is that I've been included on the tip line. Basically, anyone in the world can send an e-mail to [email protected], and the writing staff can sort through those submissions a...

 
 
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YouPorn eSports team banned by league

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...

 
 
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Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Happer Nooo Yur!

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...

 
 
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Destructoid's award for Overall Best Game of 2015 goes to...

The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kellogg devoted much...

 
 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...

 
 
 




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Super Mario Maker 2"I miss the stylus"

 

Stranger Things 3: The Game"It's weird that this hit the Switch before a Netflix app, right?"

 

Blazing Chrome"I ran to this Contra affair"

 

Dr. Mario World"Dr. Feelgood microtransactions"

 

Umihara Kawase Fresh!"Swingers club"

 

SolSeraph"Gods and monsters"

 

The Friends of Ringo Ishikawa"Me and my friends"

 
 
 

Community Blogs | expand

 

Quickposts expand | +quickpost

Flanx

Might just throw the Switch under my bed and forget it Im not paying £70 pounds for another set of Joy-Cons, fuck I cant justify that cost at Next time I play my Switch will be when they go on sale I Back to

 
Boxman214

I want to listen to some pleasant Dont really care what Just light and pleasing to the What do you suggest?

 
dubd95b

Getting through some of my backlog, really enjoying divinity! Makes me want to get the second one

 
Mike Sounders

The cutoff for updates and DLC for EVO was There will officially be no Dragon Quest content present for Ultimate, not even a character select cameo because the current patch is the tournament standard

 
AtomicBanana

Ever sat on the toilet so long reading or playing videogames or doing phone stuff that you have to ask yourself, Did I poop?

 
Tohsaka

Well, after some overclocking and some digging, I got at least some progress on that Raspberry Duodecim works well on

 
absolutfreak

The surgery was a Replaced the analog stick on my drifting joycons, and the problem is Its nice to actually be able to use the thing in handheld mode

 
Keiichi Morisato

Sentai Filmworks has a go fund me started for KyoAni if anyone is

 
Dinosir

Dinos Doodles Day 8: This man is not pleased by your shenanigans!

 
Slimybear245v20

Wes isnt even that sexy the other Chriss are much #heresytoid

 
 

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