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#Also cocks


 
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Too cocky!

Here's a tale of a flex gone horribly wrong. At this weekend's VSFighting tournament in England, Joshua "Rycroft" Podesta had Yota "Pekos" Kachi on the ropes in Samurai Shodown. After absorbing a super, Pekos was left with just a ...

 
 
 
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Wanking Simulator achieves release this fall

I'd normally save this sort of thing for my weekly weird games roundup, but I was too excited to restrain myself. I was practically turgid with anticipation, and the only way to sate my raging emotion was to whip it out and spread the news ...

 
 
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Contest: Win a Switch copy of Safety First!

The name of the game is safety in today's contest for a Switch copy of Safety First! I don't think I've ever been this happy in my entire life. Seriously. Well, maybe once. But this is definitely the second happiest I've ever been. And it's...

 
 
 
 
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Keep your dingus warm in SCUM's Winter update

Tis the season for murdering each other on a prison island, so SCUM is getting into the festivities with a new update. To get your winter wonderland on, players will be able to explore a snow covered map, get into snowball fights and sled d...

 
 
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Contest: Win Breathedge for Steam

Ready for some more free games? Today Breathedge is up for grabs -- don't miss out on this contest! I don't know of many games where an immortal chicken is used as a tool to break things, plug leaky pipes, and scan electronic equipment. In ...

 
 
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Review: Genital Jousting

Gaming is such a strange and wonderful hobby. You can play in recreations of history’s greatest moments, explore alien planets, race in futuristic space craft and now play as a big floppy penis that is trying to insert itself in the a...

 
 
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From our community  

How to Self-Destructoid

[With emotions riding high in the community, Deadmoon shares with us why exactly it is he loves this crazy, broken Dtoid family. <3 ~ JuIc3] A lot of my friends make fun of me when I tell them that I'm an active part of an online communi...

 
 
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My introduction to the Destructoid tip line

So, one of the main benefits of joining the writing staff here is that I've been included on the tip line. Basically, anyone in the world can send an e-mail to [email protected], and the writing staff can sort through those submissions a...

 
 
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YouPorn eSports team banned by league

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Happer Nooo Yur!

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...

 
 
 
 
 
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Rust soft launches female avatars, 'you never had a choice'

Back when I was telling you about how Rust automatically generates penis size based on Steam ID, a footnote to that article was that female player models were on their way to the survival sandbox, too. Well, this momentous addition was anno...

 
 




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Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot"Previously on...Your Childhood"

 

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: Rise of the Phoenix"A lukewarm pot of gumbo, chere"

 

SuperMash"We're using the GOOD potatoes"

 

Wattam"'So I just did me some talking to the sun'"

 

MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries"Mech, mech, goose"

 

Tools Up"Good bones"

 

Shovel Knight: King of Cards"Also, some thoughts on Showdown"

 
 
 

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Goemar

Spicy take: Zelda and Metroid are both better when theyre

 
Boxman214

Volcanic take: Grease 2 > Grease

 
Gus TT Showbiz

Yesterday my fridge thought it was a microwave, so we got into a heated But were cool

 
Operative20

Have food poisoning for the first time, spent the night rushing to the bathroom over and over, and yet I still gotta get into work because no paid time off and I cant afford to be sick :(

 
Major Toms Coffee Cup

Spice take 2020: personas vocal tracks on their songs ruin I like FFXV more than XII, red dead 2s story isnt that great, the uncharted series has a lame Alien covenant is way better than blade runner 2049 is better than 1st

 
RiffRaff

Matt 2020: Stop digging dammit! I just cleaned it 10 min ago! Youre not going to get to Theyll probably eat you

 
Slimybear245v20

Spicey take Horizon Zero Dawn God Of War and Resident Evil 2 Remake were all ehhh Remakes are pretty lazy and if they just do all the same content should just be a port Terry was boring in Ultimate is a fighting

 
Drifting Deadlock

Flaming takes: I actually enjoyed Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy x6>x7 Military shooters are done too often and are getting

 
EricWeichhart

Fun fact: I would actually shave my eyebrows and hair it that would take me to EGLX this October lol

 
Neronium

Streams over, thanks for everyone who stopped by to watch me be bad at Kirby: Triple

 
 

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