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The future of features on Destructoid

As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing features. Because of...   read

 
 
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The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...   read

 
 
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Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...   read

 
 
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Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...   read

 
 
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Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...   read

 
 
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Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming experts” (fan...   read

 
 
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Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures) Today marks a...   read

 
 
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Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets wh...   read

 
 
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From our community  

A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!

I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winners of the No M...   read

 
 
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Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potentially bullsh*t int...   read

 
 
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Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero

Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect nonetheless. Sur...   read

 
 
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Genitals ruin Christmas with help from PSP

Shon Goodman of Omaha, Nebraska thought he had his holiday shopping all worked out when he picked up the used PSP at a local store. Little did he know that the handheld contained a horrible secret that would destroy Christmas for his ten ye...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Handys X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

[Handy created this awesome Destructoid themed Christmas poem! Merry Christmas from everyone at Destructoid!] It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we forget about all our problems and just try to enjoy ourselves for one...   read

 
 
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ESRB: Dante's Inferno contains demon penis

Oh yes, it's that time again! Time for another brilliant ESRB rating. We've had Street Fighter IV's flexed gluteus, Mass Effect 2's future blouse, and Final Fantasy XIII's breast side portions. Now the ESRB has given us the most amazing men...   read

 
 
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The return of the F**khead: No More Heroes 2 ESRB listing

We haven't heard too much about No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle lately, which had me worried that the game wasn't going to make its January 2010 launch date. Seeing the ESRB rating for the game has put those worries to rest. Unless the...   read

 
 
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Tim Langdell is a dick, indies respond...from the EDGE

Tim Langdell, founder of EDGE Games and former IDGA board member, is evidently not a big believer in freedom of speech -- at least, not in respect to the word "edge."  After managing to remove Mobigames' EDGE from the iPhone app store ...   read

 
 
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Water Sports coming to the Wii

There is only one reason why I chose to run this story. You already know exactly what that reason is.   read

 
 
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Katamari Forever launch trailer is ... uh, yeah

I'm sure you all remember the first trailer for Katamari Forever that Joseph posted a while back. It had a monkey in it, which is really the only reason I remember. Above, you'll find the new launch trailer for the game, which also features...   read

 
 
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Penultimate experience in gaming arrives in Love Death 4

You knew it was coming. You knew that one day man would devise a way to control videogames with his penis. We think with it most of the time. Most of the games we play have something to do with proving who has the bigger wang, and let's not...   read

 
 
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Nier Replicant will be getting sexy hermaphrodite fun

Nier Replicant has been revealed has been revealed as a PS3-exclusive version of Square Enix's upcoming action RPG, while Nier Gestalt will be an alternative Xbox 360 version. We don't yet know if the two games will have some form of intera...   read

 
 
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Send a greeting with some Dissidia flavor

Have you been stuck sending greeting cards without Final Fantasy characters all over them? I know, me too. It's a tough world for us gamers. A world in which we are forced to send electronic greeting cards without our favorite Final Fantasy...   read

 
 
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Gackt getting sexy body involved with Samurai Warriors 3

I have a big fat wobbly man-crush on Gackt, and really, who could blame me? The androgynous Japanese singer looks quite unbelievable, and I have made a mission in life to mack Gackt's sack, whether he grants me permission or not. Further pr...   read

 
 
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Watch Mindfreak, get free couch in Home

Are you tired of sitting on things not shaped like coffins in your virtual home in Home? It's just a pain, isn't it? But who wants to go out and buy a virtual something shaped like a coffin? There's the awkward looks from the virtual store ...   read

 
 
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Warner Bros. hands a rose to The Bachelor videogame

Yup, this is happening.Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment and Ludia announced today that they will be creating videogames based on the hit reality shows The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. According to the press release, the games will b...   read

 
 
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Lars Von Trier's Antichrist getting the game treatment

Antichrist, Danish director Lars Von Trier's newest film, hit Cannes this year and divided critics more than two rival console fanboys arguing over which system should be able to use the only outlet left in the house. Some thought it was a ...   read

 
 
Matthew RazakFeatured blogger

Monday reviews aren't on Monday. It's old school, trust me. OK, so I've been and editor for a while now. I probably should fill this part in a bit more fully. I've been here a while. In most a...

 


 


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Community expand | +quickpost

TheBlondeBass

If you wonder the reason behind people posting new video games blogs/QPs about old games, its my

 
Madoka Malika

Been watching LOTR and damn these two are so

 
Jinx 01

For some reason Amazon Prime discounts only apply to *physical* copies of new They dont have DX:MD retail on PC for some reason (?!) so I cant get my 20% off of Total I have $96 in credit there but Im not throwing away $12

 
a spider

I wanna eat ice cream where is my spoon? Stay

 
Torchman

Effectively how I feel now that Zaboru is on the Were going to have

 
SpielerDad

Looks legit to This is being sold at a dollar store, so you know its high

 
gajknight

Cleaning ovens is worse than

 
mullon

I finished The Tower of Swallows, the sixth Witcher It was as tedious and meandering as the last four saga

 
Chris Bradshaw

Im not a big fan of I found this show on Netflix called Good Morning Ive started watching it as a joke, just to laugh at all the Japanese over the top But I think I might be getting

 
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