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#Also cocks


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  Preview

Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...   read

 
 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...   read

 
 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...   read

 
 
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Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy.    read

 
 
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The future of features on Destructoid

As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing features. Because of...   read

 
 
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The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...   read

 
 
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Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...   read

 
 
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Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...   read

 
 
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Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...   read

 
 
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Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming experts” (fan...   read

 
 
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Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures) Today marks a...   read

 
 
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Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets wh...   read

 
 
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From our community  

A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!

I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winners of the No M...   read

 
 
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Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potentially bullsh*t int...   read

 
 
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Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero

Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect nonetheless. Sur...   read

 
 
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Genitals ruin Christmas with help from PSP

Shon Goodman of Omaha, Nebraska thought he had his holiday shopping all worked out when he picked up the used PSP at a local store. Little did he know that the handheld contained a horrible secret that would destroy Christmas for his ten ye...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Handys X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

[Handy created this awesome Destructoid themed Christmas poem! Merry Christmas from everyone at Destructoid!] It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we forget about all our problems and just try to enjoy ourselves for one...   read

 
 
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ESRB: Dante's Inferno contains demon penis

Oh yes, it's that time again! Time for another brilliant ESRB rating. We've had Street Fighter IV's flexed gluteus, Mass Effect 2's future blouse, and Final Fantasy XIII's breast side portions. Now the ESRB has given us the most amazing men...   read

 
 
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The return of the F**khead: No More Heroes 2 ESRB listing

We haven't heard too much about No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle lately, which had me worried that the game wasn't going to make its January 2010 launch date. Seeing the ESRB rating for the game has put those worries to rest. Unless the...   read

 
 
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Tim Langdell is a dick, indies respond...from the EDGE

Tim Langdell, founder of EDGE Games and former IDGA board member, is evidently not a big believer in freedom of speech -- at least, not in respect to the word "edge."  After managing to remove Mobigames' EDGE from the iPhone app store ...   read

 
 
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Water Sports coming to the Wii

There is only one reason why I chose to run this story. You already know exactly what that reason is.   read

 
 
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Katamari Forever launch trailer is ... uh, yeah

I'm sure you all remember the first trailer for Katamari Forever that Joseph posted a while back. It had a monkey in it, which is really the only reason I remember. Above, you'll find the new launch trailer for the game, which also features...   read

 
 
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Penultimate experience in gaming arrives in Love Death 4

You knew it was coming. You knew that one day man would devise a way to control videogames with his penis. We think with it most of the time. Most of the games we play have something to do with proving who has the bigger wang, and let's not...   read

 
 
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Nier Replicant will be getting sexy hermaphrodite fun

Nier Replicant has been revealed has been revealed as a PS3-exclusive version of Square Enix's upcoming action RPG, while Nier Gestalt will be an alternative Xbox 360 version. We don't yet know if the two games will have some form of intera...   read

 
 
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Send a greeting with some Dissidia flavor

Have you been stuck sending greeting cards without Final Fantasy characters all over them? I know, me too. It's a tough world for us gamers. A world in which we are forced to send electronic greeting cards without our favorite Final Fantasy...   read

 
 


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Community expand | +quickpost

MeanderBot

Why the hell not?

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

So Super Smash Flash 2 is a The trailer is a cool remake of Brawls, but with pixel art and extra Neato!

 
dephoenix

A ticks entire existence is an irl version of Shadow of the

 
Kerrik52

Vanquish released and my download speed jumps between 100-600 KB per

 
Dere

Cocks

 
Jiraya

Boobs

 
Ricky Namara

All of these unused locations in FFXV makes me wish SquareEnixs next update is more than a simple Heres a re-balancing patch!

 
Serethyn

Chaos;Child is indeed coming West! I still have no idea who they actually are, but Im really appreciative of PQubes prolificness

 
ScionVyse

Oh no, Post changed the recipe for Honeycomb in Breakfast is ruined

 
GetNekKid

So Ive been playing Paladins with the very tiny amount of free time I have nowadays, and besides some characters feeling a bit too Overwatch-y, its actually fun! Add me on ps4! Edit:name keeps messing up here, just add an underscore between nek & kid!

 

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