Gaming News, Game Reviews, Game Trailers, Tech News

Contest: Win a Nintendo Switch from Destructoid
PC   |   SWITCH   |   PS4   |   XBOX   |   SCORPIO   |   3DS   |   VITA   |   VR   |   JP   |   FILM   |   TOYS   |   MOB


 
 
 

#Also cocks


HAWP photo
HAWP
  Preview

HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D
  Preview

The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...   read

 
 
 photo
From our community  

Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D
  Preview

The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Review: Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat

While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortunately, Destruc...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D
  Preview

Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy.    read

 
 
 photo
8===D

The future of features on Destructoid

As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing features. Because of...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Tune in to GameTrailers TV tonight to see me NAKED!

Not really. I have a t-shirt on. I just can’t wait for my parents to Google my name and see that headline show up in the results. But I will be on GameTrailers TV tonight! I was one of the “gaming experts” (fan...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Gather around old man Niero: Destructoid turns four

Friday night, 11pm at the Destructoid + Astro party:   "HEY! HEEEEY! SHUT UP! YOU! QUIEEEET!" Then, again, somehow in unison: "SHUT THE F**K UP! WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!" (Here's the party in pictures) Today marks a...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Gears of Whores is a real thing and is utterly dismaying

"Finally, porn for the XXX-treme gamer in you!" Not my words, but the words of GearsOfWhores.com, a new Web site dedicated to gamer porn. Of course, by gamer porn I mean, "low budget porn stars doing their normal sex but wearing headsets wh...   read

 
 
 photo
From our community  

A Dtoider won that No More Heroes 2 t-shirt contest!

I've been sitting on this info for a little while, waiting to get a proper screen grab of the two winning t-shirts in action, but my screen grabbing equipment sucks and I can't wait any longer. So here there are, the two winners of the No M...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Analyzing No More Heroes 2, part 1: The bosses

[These posts on No More Heroes 2 are purely speculation. I have no idea what the team at Grasshopper Manufacture intended for the game to mean; I can only speak to what I've taken away from it, so if you don't enjoy potentially bullsh*t int...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Jeff Minter pitches Video Game Hero

Space Giraffe developer and notorious industry whingebag Jeff Minter has been hard at work on a new game that he is hoping to pitch to Activision. Not really, but his idea for Video Game Hero could be a pretty good prospect nonetheless. Sur...   read

 
 
 photo
8===D

Genitals ruin Christmas with help from PSP

Shon Goodman of Omaha, Nebraska thought he had his holiday shopping all worked out when he picked up the used PSP at a local store. Little did he know that the handheld contained a horrible secret that would destroy Christmas for his ten ye...   read

 
 



Reviews   filter by...

Kamiko"The Switch game worth an 'import' right now"

 

Review in Progress: Expeditions: Viking"Your pillaging experience is loading"

 

Scanner Sombre"Are you afraid of the dark?"

 

Wilson's Heart"Oh great, now I'm scared of another reality"

 

Dragon Quest Heroes II"Marginally greater heroism"

 

Outlast 2"Suffer the children"

 
More ReviewsGame Trailers
 


 


Upcoming games

More Previews
 

Destructoid Originals

More Originals
 
 

WTF IS DESTRUCTOID? Download our media kit

Stats

Read the Community Blogs. Tip: Enable Social Home.