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#Also cocks


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Friday Night Fights - Get Over Here!

Guys, I have a problem. I'm thirsty as hell. Not for some sweet meat slapping, but for blood. Your blood. Someone needs to hit me up on Xbox or PC for some Mortal Kombat X action. I have 9 Komplete on PC as well. LET'S DO THIS THANG! I need...   read

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Goodbye Sweet Prince

I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was an asshole to yo...   read

 
 
Mario Kart dicks photo
From our community  

Who put all these dicks in Mario Kart?

[Where will Dtoid community blogger Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon find dicks next?? --Mr Andy Dixon] You know, if there's one important observation I've noticed throughout the years, it's that if you look hard enough, like really really hard, y...   read

 
 
Sporting YP photo
Sporting YP

YouPorn is sponsoring an eSports team

YouPorn, which a cursory Google search tells me is a streaming adult video webpage, has announced its sponsorship of a Spanish eSports team (Hearthstone, League of Legends). Play2Win will now be known as Team YP, which sounds like some...   read

 
 
Xbox porn photo
Xbox porn

Hardcore pornography CONFIRMED for Next Xbox

SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.  The service is already of...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks

[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have a little saying...   read

 
 
Etrian Odyssey IV photo
Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff

Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]   read

 
 
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HAWP
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HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...   read

 
 
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Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...   read

 
 
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...   read

 
 
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...   read

 
 
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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...   read

 
 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...   read

 
 
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The DTOID Show: Our Top Gaming Moments Of 2011!

Merry Christmas, everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because idiot thought it was a good idea to put a small tree in my house and then leave a bunch of presents sitting under it, so I need to go get rid of that crap before anybody trips on...   read

 
 
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Review: Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat

While we're all waiting for that hotly anticipated Saints Row: The Third review, it's easy to forget that Volition Inc. has something else coming to market -- the official Saints Row: The Third Dildo Baseball Bat.  Fortunately, Destruc...   read

 
 
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Fruit Ninja Kinect unleashes my ninja penis

I refused to rearrange my living room to play Fruit Ninja in my girlfriend's tiny San Francisco flat, so after a few failed attempts at calibration I just jumped behind the sofa, causing my body to turn into a floating severed torso.  ...   read

 
 
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When eroges get motion controls

According to Maniac, the Japanese developer Tech Arts is working on a title called 3D Custom Girl, which will be released at the end of October. The women present in the game cover pretty much every single Anime cliché in the book. T...   read

 
 
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Skyrim demo sends woman into labor

[Update: Chaz and Stevi joined us in the Outer Heaven chat last night (Chaz has been following Destructoid for years) and we got the chance to talk with the soon-to-be parents. Because of the pregnancy, the wedding (planned for this past we...   read

 
 
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Octocock

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D will feature Cthulhu's penis as a regular enemy.    read

 
 
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The future of features on Destructoid

As some of you know, I love to write features on this site. It’s kind of my favorite thing ever, outside of dolphins ... or Showgirls ... or punching old ladies in the face. Well, you get the point. I love writing features. Because of...   read

 
 
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The Elder Scrolls V: Penisfinger

Thanks to the Destructoid community blogs, I now cannot look at this formerly beautiful screenshot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim without seeing a terrible truth. That truth is the unquestionable penisfinger standing proud on the end of tha...   read

 
 
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Destructoid shirts will protect your torso from sun rays!

Sun rays are bad! Didn't you know? The government secretly created videogames to keep people inside and away from the sun after all. Still, you sometimes have to leave the the house for things like candy brain fuel. Lucky for you, Destructo...   read

 
 
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Hey! Watch this episode of This Week in Videogames!

Last week I was a guest on web talk show This Week in Videogames. I am not posting this video of the episode to put the focus on me – I can’t even watch myself on video for more than five seconds without throwing up. I really w...   read

 
 
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Here is Sega's game machine, control it with your pee

I don't know who it was that came up with the idea to paint a little fly or dot or target on the inside bowl of your average public urinal, but he (or she) was a genius. It took advantage of man's need to urinate, and combined it with man...   read

 
 


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Community expand | +quickpost

JcDent

@Vagabond226 Thanks for the Just Cause collection! Maybe I should free some of the excess Humble Bundle keys that I

 
GoofierBrute

Good news: I want to get back to C-blogging here after so Bad news: theres so much stuff I want to write about, I dont what to Solution: I made a straw poll so you guys can pick for me! Bump!

 
JcDent

Pope, determined to salvage some trolling out of this shit, gifted Trump Laudato Si, the environmentalist Im sure this would have been more effective if Trump was literate, but

 
EtosiGiR

Welp disqus has stopped me from discussing something about Marvel Capcom Infinite and I dont want to write to the wrong person so, to whom it may concern the producers are refusing to confirm or deny anything but its cagey as

 
Hypno Coffin

Hell yeah, the extended void at the top of the site has been fixed!

 
Vagabond226

Well work I couldnt even take a break and my supervisor is the Time to give out some Steam keys! Will post some in the

 
Steven Hansen

#dogtoid

 
AdmiralAckbong

Life is a series of ups and downs and I just got some major lows to work Send me good vibes please Edit: just read through all your comments and it means a whole hell of a My life is painfully changing fast but I felt the love n Th

 
Nathan D

Im in a weird place where I have new and old games Id like to play, but my time is so limited that Im just playing games I already know I like, rather than taking a chance on delving into something I wont A conundrum, for

 
Mike Martin

I was trying to get one of the last pickles out of the jar, but it was really slippery, and pissed me Spent 10 min trying to pull it Then I got really mad, because I woke up right as the dog came in my Pic

 

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