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YouPorn ban photo
YouPorn ban

YouPorn eSports team banned by league

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...   read

 
 
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Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...   read

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Happer Nooo Yur!

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...   read

 
 
GOTY 2015
The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kello...   read
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Friday Night Fights photo
Friday Night Fights

Friday Night Fights - Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...   read

 
 
Gamers love danger photo
Gamers love danger

Marathon gamers are 25% more likely to consider sleeping with a serial killer

Do you ever find yourself playing video games for more than eight hours straight? If you answered yes, would you consider sleeping with -- or fucking -- a serial killer? According to OKCupid, 25 percent of you are likely to answer yes. ...   read

 
 
Madden tricks photo
Madden tricks
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Madden 16 screenshots lie about Marshawn Lynch dick-grabbing mechanic

Madden 16 used the above photo for Marshawn Lynch in its running backs player rating reveal. He is, naturally, number one at 96 overall. He cannot, however, grab his dick in defiance, as he is wont to do in real life. Seriously, watch this.   read

 
 
Dick slip photo
Dick slip
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Miiverse moderation can't catch ALL the dicks

Sometimes they just slip through the cracks.   read

 
 
Rustic photo
Rustic

Rust soft launches female avatars, 'you never had a choice'

Back when I was telling you about how Rust automatically generates penis size based on Steam ID, a footnote to that article was that female player models were on their way to the survival sandbox, too. Well, this momentous addition was anno...   read

 
 
Rustic photo
Rustic

Rustic: Rust generates avatar cock size by Steam ID

Haha, rustic. I think it's time for Jordan to take another Rust adventure. The open world survival sim is fascinating. It recently made headlines when players flipped out after it randomly assigned face and skin tone to users' Steam IDs. An...   read

 
 
Don't get cocky photo
Don't get cocky
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Expensive dick moderation helped kill the last LEGO MMO

Someone think about the children! Like my own personal brand, LEGO is a family-friendly, name-stealing company. And so the open-ended, Minecraft-like builder LEGO Worlds has some problem what with immature idiots' propensity to build cock. ...   read

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Get Over Here!

Guys, I have a problem. I'm thirsty as hell. Not for some sweet meat slapping, but for blood. Your blood. Someone needs to hit me up on Xbox or PC for some Mortal Kombat X action. I have 9 Komplete on PC as well. LET'S DO THIS THANG! I need...   read

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Goodbye Sweet Prince

I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was an asshole to yo...   read

 
 
Mario Kart dicks photo
From our community  
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Who put all these dicks in Mario Kart?

[Where will Dtoid community blogger Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon find dicks next?? --Mr Andy Dixon] You know, if there's one important observation I've noticed throughout the years, it's that if you look hard enough, like really really hard, y...   read

 
 
Sporting YP photo
Sporting YP

YouPorn is sponsoring an eSports team

YouPorn, which a cursory Google search tells me is a streaming adult video webpage, has announced its sponsorship of a Spanish eSports team (Hearthstone, League of Legends). Play2Win will now be known as Team YP, which sounds like some...   read

 
 
Xbox porn photo
Xbox porn

Hardcore pornography CONFIRMED for Next Xbox

SugarDVD, purveyor of such fine films as What An Asshole and Hairy Asian Schoolgirls Masturbate, has confirmed it'll be bringing its adult entertainment streaming services to Microsoft's next-generation Xbox.  The service is already of...   read

 
 
Promoted cock blog photo
From our community  

Promoted blog: Gaming's greatest cocks

[Destructoid turned seven this past Saturday, and all month long Dtoiders have been reminiscing about their time with the site over in our Community Blogs. Here's Handy's little dandy. Show us yours! --Mr Andy Dixon] We have a little saying...   read

 
 
Etrian Odyssey IV photo
Etrian Odyssey IV

Etrian Odyssey IV will get you stiff

Dale North's review is taking forever because he keeps getting distracted by sh*t like this. [Swagtoise's Tumblr via Tiny Cartridge]   read

 
 
HAWP photo
HAWP
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HAWP: Oh Ash, your diplomacy is so thick and hard

This is... well... umm... you know what? I'm not even going to explain it. The latest Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? is brilliance, plain and simple. Go watch it and have a good laugh or two. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? - Civilization V [GameTrai...   read

 
 
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Goodbye, Destructoid

As some of you may or may not have heard, this is officially my last day with Destructoid. Man ... I can barely type that without getting upset. I am starting a new job next week at GolinHarris as a writer for Nintendo. It is an absolute dr...   read

 
 
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The DTOID Show: Assassin's Creed DLC, Star Wars, & Porno

On today's completely professional, mature, and otherwise not stupid or embarrassing Destructoid Show, we discuss some very serious topics. First, a season pass is announced for Assassin's Creed III, and the first DLC will be set in an alt...   read

 
 
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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators'

Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer comi...   read

 
 
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From our community  

Destructoid Community Meetup Photos!

Yeah we're a web site, but we are also a collective of fleshy sacks of meat and blood that play video games together and drink sometimes!  In an effort to centralize our random adventures and always have a place to show random photos a...   read

 
 


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Swordfight will get your joystick hard

I stand corrected. This is the weirdest story of the weekend! If you read Joseph Leray's "Nordic New Wave" feature from the other week, you ought to be familiar with Johann Sebastian Joust, a game using accelerometer-powered controllers and...   read

 
 
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Namco Bandai pulls penis-flavored SoulCalibur V ad

[Update: So apparently it is not real. Stupid sexy Voldo!] Namco Bandai recently pulled an advert for SoulCalibur V after fans complained that it was too offensive. No, it wasn't the magazine page featuring ginormous breasts. It was an post...   read

 
 
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Pokemon Go"Blasting off again"

 

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Community expand | +quickpost

Dwavenhobble

Any-one who doesnt go to see Suicide Squad is a who has to ask why is also clearly a Racist and needs to educate

 
Rad Party God

Yeah! 40 minutes into this mission in Guild Wars 2, Im about to face the final boss! Ive killed many dragons, Im so fucking ready, YEAH! BRING IT ON BABY! *lost conection to server* Kicked me out of the game? I have to do it all over again!??

 
Fuzunga

So Tara Strong was walking around Comic Con today dressed as Harley and absolutely nailed People apparently were asking to take pictures not even realizing it was

 
Heat

i am a total wreck right i sit down with my 8 niece and watched Inside Out for the very first And i barely could contain myself with Bing Bong final Man, my feelings! Whos your friend who likes to play? Bing Bong Bing Bong!

 
Agent9

So Im playing the last splatfest, what might also be my last round in I have to say Im both happy and It couldnt last forever but its been one hell of a To all the good times, enjoy yourselves

 
Torchman

I NEED I NEED IT SO AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 
Parismio

Well, shes not wrong if shes only talking about The Waifu Wars affected

 
Voodoome

Im getting a real good feeling for this movie after seeing the new

 
BigDoniel

Why does noone push in Splatoon?? They always seem content in just defending even when its clear it isnt

 
maggit

My bands new single!

 

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