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Review: Genital Jousting

Gaming is such a strange and wonderful hobby. You can play in recreations of history’s greatest moments, explore alien planets, race in futuristic space craft and now play as a big floppy penis that is trying to insert itself in the a...

 
 
 
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The next Overwatch event will be loaded with cock

It looks like the next timed event in Overwatch won't be Valentine themed, though that still may be something to look forward to in the future. Last night the Overwatch team revealed that the next event will be themed around Chinese Ne...

 
 
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From our community  

How to Self-Destructoid

[With emotions riding high in the community, Deadmoon shares with us why exactly it is he loves this crazy, broken Dtoid family. <3 ~ JuIc3] A lot of my friends make fun of me when I tell them that I'm an active part of an online communi...

 
 
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My introduction to the Destructoid tip line

So, one of the main benefits of joining the writing staff here is that I've been included on the tip line. Basically, anyone in the world can send an e-mail to [email protected], and the writing staff can sort through those submissions a...

 
 
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YouPorn eSports team banned by league

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...

 
 
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Hot Mess: 10 Years of Destructoid party photos

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Happer Nooo Yur!

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...

 
 
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Destructoid's award for Overall Best Game of 2015 goes to...

The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kellogg devoted much...

 
 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...

 
 
 
 
 
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Rust soft launches female avatars, 'you never had a choice'

Back when I was telling you about how Rust automatically generates penis size based on Steam ID, a footnote to that article was that female player models were on their way to the survival sandbox, too. Well, this momentous addition was anno...

 
 
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Rustic: Rust generates avatar cock size by Steam ID

Haha, rustic. I think it's time for Jordan to take another Rust adventure. The open world survival sim is fascinating. It recently made headlines when players flipped out after it randomly assigned face and skin tone to users' Steam IDs. An...

 
 
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Expensive dick moderation helped kill the last LEGO MMO

Someone think about the children! Like my own personal brand, LEGO is a family-friendly, name-stealing company. And so the open-ended, Minecraft-like builder LEGO Worlds has some problem what with immature idiots' propensity to build cock. ...

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Get Over Here!

Guys, I have a problem. I'm thirsty as hell. Not for some sweet meat slapping, but for blood. Your blood. Someone needs to hit me up on Xbox or PC for some Mortal Kombat X action. I have 9 Komplete on PC as well. LET'S DO THIS THANG! I need...

 
 
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Friday Night Fights - Goodbye Sweet Prince

I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was an asshole to yo...

 
 




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Unworthy"The Dark Souls of indie metroidvania games"

 

Lego The Incredibles"Let's be real, this is the best Fantastic Four game we're ever gonna get"

 

Skyrim Very Special Edition"Alexa, cross the rickety bridge"

 

Jurassic World Evolution"Spare no expense! Because it doesn't matter anyway"

 

Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion"I'm an expansion now"

 

Shaq Fu - A Legend Reborn"Shaq is back, but kinda wack"

 

Fortnite (Switch)"Build a fort, last the night (wait it's basically just battle royale now)"

 

Incredibles 2"Jack Jack, baby"

 

Tag"The Hawkeye movie you never knew you wanted"

 
 
 

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Quickposts expand | +quickpost

JcDent

Bring back Bretonnia!

 
jak2364

Nothing like logging into Guild Wars 2 for the daily bonuses and staying for 30 minutes cause Mickey Mouse decided to have a concert next to the bank

 
Rudorlf

Welp, Im certain that I fucked up that interview, even when Im wearing Confirmed that I botched it

 
MetemNight

Visual representation of every subplot in the Westworld finale:

 
Parismio

Yo @Hlarge4 a lil CR Fanarty thing I found for ya, theres more below:

 
Flegma

I stared at the abyss and it stared back at Then I stepped away from the mirror but the abyss stayed with

 
whatsacow

After bouncing off of Horizon Zero Dawn pretty hard due to having played Zelda just before, Im finally diving back And I regret sleeping on it because it is fucking amazing! My only real issue is I cant romance

 
Pixie The Fairy

On the final night of my vacation I beat three Bloodborne bosses, finally have seen everything in Yharnam and it seems Nightmare of Mensis is my next stop, though I feel like theres still a lot more to I also got Vaans Skikari body piece in FFXIV!

 
Chris Bradshaw

I wish there were more of these

 
Princess bong264

There is a microcosm of english people in a conference room here at work Ive never heard so many different kinds of accents at Im a little weirded

 
 

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