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The E3 2018 Dumbstructoid Awards

Right now, I'm overcome with an immense feeling of joy. I'm happy, content even, because after seven, long days of running around the crowded hallways of the Los Angeles Convention Center and sleeping in an apartment so cold Ice Man would a...

 
 
 
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The Surge 2's combat is all about violent self-expression

Things aren't going well in The Surge 2's dystopian landscape. Jericho City is a far cry from the dimly-lit industrial buildings that dominated so much of The Surge's runtime, but it's hardly a happy place. A mysterious storm lingers overhe...

 
 
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Resident Evil 2 nearly made me s#!t my pants

Capcom has a tight set-up in the South Hall of E3. The entrance to its demo for the Resident Evil 2 remake is a miniature recreation of the Raccoon City police station, redesigned as a short haunted house to provide a brief bit of...

 
 
 
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Mega Man 11 proves Capcom still has a knack for the series

Unlike most of the other games I'll play at E3, a single level of Mega Man 11 is actually enough to give a comprehensive look at the quality of the final product. There are two available for my session -- Block Man and Fuse Man -- and ...

 
 
 
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Team Sonic Racing just feels alright

Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed was a celebration of all things Sega -- and it was an amazing arcade racer in its own right. Matter of fact, I think it's up there with Mario Kart 8. The next racing game from Sega, Team Sonic Racing...

 
 
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Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice has its whole gimmick in the title

From Software is squeezing as much as it can out of the four words Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice. At first, it might seem like nothing more than a stylish-sounding title -- all staccato'd syllables with a punch. But, really, those four words ex...

 
 
 
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Starlink: Battle for Atlas is Star Fox evolved

When Starlink: Battle for Atlas was announced at E3 2017, I immediately wrote it off. Here was a new toys-to-life product in a time when other franchises in that niche were starting to die off. In 2017 it seemed like an antiquated conc...

 
 
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Spider-Man sets a new standard for superhero games

Zipping around in Spider-Man (PS4) for the first time at E3 brings back memories of Batman: Arkham Asylum, and I mean that in all the best ways. Rocksteady raised our collective expectations for superhero games in 2009; Insomniac is on trac...

 
 
 
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Dragon Quest XI seems well worth the wait

E3 is a rather lousy place to play Dragon Quest XI for the first time. Sessions are limited to just 15 minutes, and with two small maps to explore with a bevy of points of interest, a single session isn't even a proper amount of t...

 
 
 from  flixist
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Ranking the best Pixar movies (and Cars 2 I guess...)

I've been a fan of Pixar for most of my life. Whenever Pixar gets around to making a new movie, whether it's an original movie or a sequel, there are a few things you can be certain of. It's going to make a fortune at the box office, i...

 
 
 
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PUBG is not an asset flip according to the developer

For a while now, there have been claims from fans that the maps in PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds are basically asset flips. To quickly get the uninformed up to speed, asset flips are when a developer buys things like character models or bui...

 
 
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Metro: Exodus is big, challenging, and beautiful

It's easy to assume the heart of the Metro series lies in the tunnels that snake below Russia's irradiated surface. They're the capillaries through which both Metro 2033 and Last Light's story unfolded, claustrophobic veins occupied by...

 
 
 
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Ninjala is cute in concept but it's certainly no Splatoon

I love it when developers can succinctly describe their game and capture its tone in an original way. Ninjala, a newly-announced Nintendo Switch title from GungHo Online Entertainment, belongs to the "ninja gum action" genre. Trust me, it m...

 
 
 
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Killer Queen Black is a buzzworthy party game

I like to jot down a few notes before I write about a game. It helps me get my mind in the right place. After spending some hands-on time with Killer Queen Black, I immediately took out my notebook and started writing.  It wasn't until...

 
 




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Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion"I'm an expansion now"

 

Shaq Fu - A Legend Reborn"Shaq is back, but kinda wack"

 

Fortnite (Switch)"Build a fort, last the night (wait it's basically just battle royale now)"

 

Incredibles 2"Jack Jack, baby"

 

Tag"The Hawkeye movie you never knew you wanted"

 

Unravel Two"It takes two, baby! (But not really)"

 

Won't You Be My Neighbor?"You will always find people who are helping"

 

Just Shapes & Beats"The rhythm is gonna get ya"

 

Ocean's 8"Not that great"

 
 
 

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Soulbow

When youre trying to read about video games cause this is a video game website but everyone wants to shove cucumbers up their air conditioners in various vegan-friendly stores #NotMyDtoid

 
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Trying to actually buy food at Whole Foods while everyone else is having air conditioned sex and shoving cucumbers up their ass in the bathroom and back #MyBattlefield

 
Forsaken Knight

1) I think I’m addicted to Hollow Knight 2) I need a new castlevania game set in the dark ages 3) I want season two of Castlevania to come out

 
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When administering loud sex in a Whole Foods bathroom actually makes it #MyBattlefield

 
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Im sorry for everyones poor experience at Whole At Trader Joes, we understand your needs for solicited back alley sex, dildo maintenance, and air Come on by for a true neighborhood shopping #MyBattlefield

 
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100 hours of community service for publicly masturbating Pokémon Go Hey GajKnight, what gives? You didnt tell me you were visiting!

 
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I found Occams

 
Rad Party God

Just bought Titanfall 2 Dragon Age Inquisition and Mirrors Edge Catalyst So much for boycotting EA :/ Buying Titanfall 2 just makes me hate EA even more, but goddamn I love that

 
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Going to Trader Joes instead of Whole Foods because they have those tasty green tea mints and BETTER air conditioning! #MyBattlefield

 
 

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