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UsurpMyProse
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White Whales: A long and miserable list of Final Fantasy failures

For many, the Final Fantasy series is a rich source of cherished memories. Whether it's meeting a doomed flower girl on the neo-futuristic streets of Midgar, suplexing a ghost train, or devoting endless hours to Triple Triad, the seminal ro...   read

 
 
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Those meddling kids: The Bravely Default kids are jerks

[For our first promotion from the September Blogger's Wanted prompt, "Those meddling kids," UsurpMyProse puts the kids from Bravely Default under the microscope and rips them a new one. Don't believe his vile lies about fairies, though...   read

 
 
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Please stop stabbing people in the neck

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse wants us to cut out all the stabbing, and offers a hefty slice of alternatives. His wit is so sharp, you'll be on the (knife) edge of your seat. The movie Blade. Other puns. Want to see your own stuff a...   read

 
 
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I love the blue shell

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse answered our recent call for "I love what you hate" submissions with a most evil confession. Do YOU love something that everyone else loathes? Go tell us about it! --Mr Andy Dixon] For many of you, I im...   read

 
 
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Tips for China to catch up on 14 years of console gaming

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse catches China up on what they've been missing. Turns out, it's not much! Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey there, China! Have you heard the goo...   read

 
 
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My 7th Gen: Dear Xbox 360, I'm breaking up with you

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse bids a fond farewell to his Xbox 360 for this month's Community Assignment. Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Dear Xbox 360 (aka My Sweet Red Eye),...   read

 
 
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So you're a grown-ass adult paying $239 to play Pokemon

[A bit of fun for the weekend, courtesy of Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse. --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey, you. It's me -- you. I know, it's been a while since we last talked. Not since I tried to convince you that two Doritos Locos Tacos aren'...   read

 
 
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Seven 'Xbox Reveal' predictions that will totally happen

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse has seen into the future and been given a glimpse of tomorrow's Xbox event, and what he saw was... well, it's about what we all expected. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write so...   read

 
 
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Horror Story: Fear, thy name is Zelda

[For his Bloggers Wanted essay response, Destructoid community blogger UsurpMyProse explains why Ocarina of Time is the scariest game of all time. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Wri...   read

 
 
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Five Dark Souls bosses that made me want to punch a baby

[In what may possibly be the funniest user blog I've ever had the pleasure of reading, Dtoid community member UsurpMyProse highlights his five "favorite" Dark Souls bosses. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write somet...   read

 
 
UsurpMyProseFeatured blogger

Aspiring writer and 2010 Penn State Triwizard Champion. Sometimes I make funny lists.

 


 


Reviews   filter by...

The Bunker"'I'm going underground (going underground)'"

 

Virginia"It's a game, I guess?"

 

Rive"Swan Song"

 

Forza Horizon 3"Crocodile Dandy"

 

Dear Esther"Walking and Talking"

 
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Destructoid Originals

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Community expand | +quickpost

The Hero of Rhyme

I have writers block, and thats why I havent posted anything in a couple On the other hand, Im approaching the end of Arkham Knight, so hopefully Ill have a full review up soon!

 
Madoka Malika

Started watching The Office with I am loving it

 
Mike Martin

Fucking

 
Khalid Eternal Nigh

I think dtoid should be the place its ok to disagree with stances ppl have if you two can listen to eachothers points and give ground to decent LISTEN to what people I dont want dtoid to turn into an echo Just keep it

 
hlarge4

Oh good! Its sick And I cant tare sick time because I need to save it for my post layoff Dang, bois

 
Khalid Eternal Nigh

You know, from the census I took there is at least 5 dtoiders(dtoidians?) who live in CA and 4 in Ever thought about doing little game party stream with your local dtoidaholics? CA might not work if socal/norcal as thats far but jersey might work

 
Silver Luso

More or less how I react when people tell me how great the USA is in comparison to another country

 
Michformer

Its good to have a community to fall back on after a week of hellacious but satisfying I may be a perpetually industrious fellow, but I also acknowledge the fact that sometimes, you need to take a respite from the madness of life and simply

 
FakePlasticTree

Although, while the Ace Attorney games can definitely lean a bit on the crazy-end of the The final case in Spirit of Justice is drinking whackers-aid from a clown

 
Dinosir

Fifa journey Do you like unskippable cutscenes and ridiculous expectations thus making you watch that cutscene 100 times? Great!

 

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