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White Whales: A long and miserable list of Final Fantasy failures

For many, the Final Fantasy series is a rich source of cherished memories. Whether it's meeting a doomed flower girl on the neo-futuristic streets of Midgar, suplexing a ghost train, or devoting endless hours to Triple Triad, the seminal ro...   read

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Those meddling kids: The Bravely Default kids are jerks

[For our first promotion from the September Blogger's Wanted prompt, "Those meddling kids," UsurpMyProse puts the kids from Bravely Default under the microscope and rips them a new one. Don't believe his vile lies about fairies, though...   read

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Please stop stabbing people in the neck

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse wants us to cut out all the stabbing, and offers a hefty slice of alternatives. His wit is so sharp, you'll be on the (knife) edge of your seat. The movie Blade. Other puns. Want to see your own stuff a...   read

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I love the blue shell

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse answered our recent call for "I love what you hate" submissions with a most evil confession. Do YOU love something that everyone else loathes? Go tell us about it! --Mr Andy Dixon] For many of you, I im...   read

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Tips for China to catch up on 14 years of console gaming

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse catches China up on what they've been missing. Turns out, it's not much! Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey there, China! Have you heard the goo...   read

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My 7th Gen: Dear Xbox 360, I'm breaking up with you

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse bids a fond farewell to his Xbox 360 for this month's Community Assignment. Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Dear Xbox 360 (aka My Sweet Red Eye),...   read

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So you're a grown-ass adult paying $239 to play Pokemon

[A bit of fun for the weekend, courtesy of Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse. --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey, you. It's me -- you. I know, it's been a while since we last talked. Not since I tried to convince you that two Doritos Locos Tacos aren'...   read

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Seven 'Xbox Reveal' predictions that will totally happen

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse has seen into the future and been given a glimpse of tomorrow's Xbox event, and what he saw was... well, it's about what we all expected. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write so...   read

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Horror Story: Fear, thy name is Zelda

[For his Bloggers Wanted essay response, Destructoid community blogger UsurpMyProse explains why Ocarina of Time is the scariest game of all time. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Wri...   read

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Five Dark Souls bosses that made me want to punch a baby

[In what may possibly be the funniest user blog I've ever had the pleasure of reading, Dtoid community member UsurpMyProse highlights his five "favorite" Dark Souls bosses. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write somet...   read

UsurpMyProseFeatured blogger

Aspiring writer and 2010 Penn State Triwizard Champion. Sometimes I make funny lists.



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Earth's Dawn"If Vanillaware made Gears of War, this would be it"


Owlboy"Soaring above the rest"


Civilization VI"Founding the New World"


Corpse Party"It's a dead man's party"

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Konosuba, Black Mirror, topped off with a listen of Clouds Taste A nice lazy day is always a good I hope youre having a good day, Yes, Put some fucking pants on though, christ


Wow, I wasnt expecting to have problems running a remaster of a five year old game, but Bethesda pulled it First it detected a controller that wasnt there, now it just crashed right after Alduin shows up in the


Decided to make a Mediocre List this year Capping it at 5, but oh, the choices to be had! Some of these games are so forgettable I forgot they released this These are just 6 of the more notable ones that Ive played so far this


Im incredibly happy to announce that I have officially worked on Skyrim Special Edition! Words fail to describe the rush of euphoria that I felt upon seeing my name in the Easily one of the most eye-opening experiences I helped make and played!


I hate it when PS4 games dont have custom music and backgrounds on the Its such a cool little




Its business time

Barry Skellington

Splinter Cell sale on Steam this Bargain prices for some great games, still no sign of Pandora Tomorrow


Ann sounds pretty fucking ace!

Hipster Youmu

Lets do a vine thing since its dying or


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