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TheManchild
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A Contradictory Blog: My Music, Please Listen.

It's contradictory because I just Tweeted how I am going to "stop blogging about games." But in a sense, it's true; or at least, I am not going to bother tackling game "issues" anymore. Sick of all that horseshit. Had ENOUGH. I don't want t...

 
 
 
 
 
 

Fuck You, Shitheads.

(EDIT: The Metro article that was circulating Twitter, a few users have pointed out, was just a segment of the article by Polygon, which is far more detailed and varied in its opinion; it covers not only the hot topic of Jennifer Helper, bu...

 
 
 
 

TheManchild's Guide to Canning

Welcome to the wonderful world of Canning! This comprehensive guide offers the latest information to get YOU started in the enthusiast hobby of Canning, today! But what is Canning, you might be asking yourself? Will this guide teach me to ...

 
 
 
 

GAMES ARTS

So basically I want to work in the game industry. I know a lot of guys what make games read Destructoid because videogames. Pretty much, as it stands, I work night shifts at a warehouse. It's really hot, so I have to go to the bathroom fre...

 
 
 
 

Let's Drop the Angry Act, Children.

Recently Phil Fish! And Marcus Beer! And an explosion of Twitter insanity! If you haven't heard about this by now, you haven't visited a game site in the past few days. But basically, Phil Fish said a thing, and a gent by the name of The A...

 
 
 
 

CONTEST TIME! FREE GAME! NO FOOLIES! LIVE FOOD!

Wh...whoa. Wait...what is that? Sausage rolls? Alive? Hold on, someone explain this to me. OH! Hello there! You might be wondering just what the hell is going on here. My name's TheManchild, aka babydadda, aka ScarfaceY2K, aka Stick...

 
 
 
 

Loot Crazy

Just a little quickie here. No big deal. I've been playing Shadowrun Returns for the better part of the last day or so, plunking in around five hours or so. I pre-ordered the game about an hour before it became available on Steam after f...

 
 
 
 

Droppin' Bombshells

Sometime last year, I decided to start a new little hobby that wasn't gaming in order to broaden my interests a bit. This was during a time of mental transition in a lot of ways when I simply didn't have the energy, for many reasons, to ded...

 
 
 
 

Dark Souls...Again.

So much stuff has come may way this last few weeks. The Steam sale, combined with a shitload of preorders and some other titles on top of that has kept me insanely busy. But the game I am playing more than anything else is Dark Souls. Ther...

 
 
 
 

Game Design Super Fun Time

I am only blogging so often at this point because it really saddens me to look at the vapid wasteland that is currently the Cblogs. It's probably because it's summer, but it feels like there are scant few entries that aren't advertisements ...

 
 
 
 

Madoka Magica Mangasmica

The other night I bought and played through Analogue: A Hate Story, and I loved every minute of it. I have never been able to penetrate the visual novel genre as a general rule of thumb, getting bored quickly, or simply having no interest i...

 
 
 
 

Why I'm Learn to Stop Worry And Mangasm

When did the alternate title to Dr. Strangelove become such a popular thing to riff on, both in blogs here, and in articles on the internet abroad? Why was there a meal worm in my Game Boy Pocket, and why did it bother me enough that I woul...

 
 
 
 

Tou Hell and Back

Akai Katana for Xbox 360 has dropped to ten dollars on Amazon last time I checked, making this a fantastic time to get into the genre known as bullet hell. If SHMUP games in general weren't hard enough, the bullet hell genre, games usually ...

 
 
 
 

Getting Back To Reality By Escaping From It.

I have fallen into a sort of ritualistic slump; impending baby. When my wife was pregnant the first time, it was all hot dogs and sadness, hot dogs and sadness. The fifty odd pounds I lost last summer have slowly found their way back from t...

 
 
 
 

Frothing at the Mouth for Final Fantasy XIV

I rarely get excited for games anymore, but this is a hell of an exciting year for me. Apart from the OODLES of fantastic 3DS releases on the way, the Wii U finally getting some good titles coming down the pipeline (though not fully convinc...

 
 
 
 

Let's Just, You Know...Take it Easy.

So the hype machine is hard at work building up excitement for a new line of Wii U games, people are taking down their pants and bending over Microsoft for a quick tea bagging, and Sony is being praised heavily for the decision to not compl...

 
 
 
 

Scrolls

My theory with the "iQuits" of Destructoid and other online blogs is that everybody gets one. After a time, it's expected for people to become a bit disenchanted with their stomping ground of choice; for me, the straw that broke the camels ...

 
 
 
 

Just Games. Move Along.

It's been awhile since I've been around. Stuff happened. It wasn't pleasant. It's over now. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I need to deal with something else. After going without games for quite some time, quitting my volunteer...

 
 
 
 

My Favorite Console

One of the first memories I have as a child, literally one of the very first things about my existence as a human being on this planet I can remember, is corn. I remember eating corn at my Nana's house. What a little baby was doing eating c...

 
 
 
 
 
 

Ski Free: Epilogue

Jack Forrester winced as the biting wind from the mountain top assaulted his skin and caused his bones to ache. He hated the cold; his arthritis was beginning to act up worse every winter, and when he was called to the Ten Pines Ski Resor...

 
 
 
 

A Month of Madness (A blog about writing)

Every now and then I like to put up a writing related blog. After all, that is what most of us are here to do, sharing our thoughts and feelings about the things we love, and sometimes even more; our personal stories, are deepest secrets,...

 
 
 
 

SONIC TEH HEGHOG

CHAOS CONTROL GO SONIC GO! BOING This was an example of what can go wrong when Destructoid implements Youtube embeds. This is a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood Manchild reminding you to use Youtube embe...

 
 
 
 

The Replacement Sequels

The movie industry really sucks these days. Hardly anything groundbreaking ever comes out, and the odd film worth watching is usually ignored by the movie going public. Instead, sequels and remakes are relied upon to make some chump chang...

 
 
 


About TheManchildone of us since 2:03 PM on 08.10.2011

HIRE ME GAME INDUSTRY. HIRE ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.

I am an aging man with starving children. I write blogs about video games. My favorite system is the Game Boy. I have three of them in my house; one in the shitter, one by my computer, and one in my pocket.

My aspiration in life is to not die. Runner up is writing and creating random bullshit related to my only hobby, which is games. I guess I read books too. But nobody cares about OLD MAN hobbies like that, so get outta town, GRANDPA!

My favorite game is Ecco the Dolphin. I like to speedrun it because it makes me feel like a big man, except when the credits run, which is where I usually reflect sadly upon the rest of my life. I love dick jokes and farts. Dickfarts.

I want to write for Destructoid some day, but the staff here are too smart to hire me. I need to find a clever way to trick a legitimate enthusiast site to pay me a small amount of money to do something for them or I can never happy.

But even then, I probably still won't be happy.

Such is life.

PSN ID:Phosisthedolphin
Steam ID:joeldavidpeterson
BattleNET:Phosis


 

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