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Thanksgusiving
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What did the valentines day card say to the stamp? Stick with me and you'll go places.

 
 
 

I once caught a robber in my shower with some valuables. I think he was trying to make a clean getaway.

 
 
 

I saw Optimus Prime the other day, he had new shoes on. They were vans.

 
 
 

When scissors were first invented, they were on the cutting edge

 
 
 
 

The divers had to be careful, the octopus was heavily armed.

 
 
 
 

People talking about the piranha plant, leaf me alone! I haven't botany thing for Smash yet!

 
 
 

I was in a shop the other day and I saw they were selling dead batteries for no charge.

 
 
 

Non pun post: GM streamed Borderlands 2 today and generously allowed me and Matt to join in the shenanigans!

 
 
 

Wes, happy birthday! For those who don't like tacos, I'm nacho type.

 
 
 

Remember when plastic surgery use to be a taboo subject? Now whenever you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

 
 
 

Just for Soulbow cause he complained in discord I wasn't posting enough: Seige Sucks. At first I thought the yoga instructor was lying, then I realized she was just stretching the truth.

 
 
 

What do you call an arrogant fugitive falling from a building? Condescending.

 
 
 

New years resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia.

 
 
 

The people stand up for royalty. The queen sits down for royal tea.

 
 
 

I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift. Merry Christmas everyone!

 
 
 

I found out Waldo wears stripes because he doesn't want to be spotted!

 
 
 

Why doesn’t Santa have any children ? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney. Also, Merry Beermas!


 
 
 

What do you call a person rabid with wordplay? An energizer punny.

 
 
 

If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms, there would be mass confusion.

 
 
 

When the iron was invented there was a press conference.

 
 
 
 

Driving with one headlight isn't very bright.

 
 
 

I dislike it when people ask me what I'm doing in two years, it's not like I have 2020 vision!

 
 


About Thanksgusivingone of us since 10:54 AM on 05.23.2013

A purveyor of puns to those with a discerning taste.

My birthday is April 28th.

 
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