BIFF STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND!!! Don't worry. Once I rise up, beat the odds and become captain of the football team despite my wiry frame and nerdy demeanor, I'll win her back and prove that I am a r34L man!

Having a good night and on this good night I want to thank you anuses for all your anus-y love/affection/pus. I consider each and every one of you a friend with whom to trade saliva and sensitive medical information with <3

I'm sweet but I'll fookin cut ya m8.

Nice grandpa talks to sugar zaddy.

Also, I can finally watch TV!!!

"I need to replace my red Joycons. Here's hoping the phasing out hasn't already jacked up the pr-" *sees 125$ tag* "I'll just get the regul-"

COVID live it up like you’re gonna rob a train and then arrive at the Gala.

Sent all my AC frens a happy 4/20 incense burner. Who's all lucky enough to be someplace where weed is legal recreationally?

Went to the doc again and my temperature was 99.4.

I buried a boot and an axe (as well as treasures) inside the maze and if people solve the mystery, I'll give them something neato. Looking forward to maybe people trying it out! Just need to provide the materials needed to keep people inside the maze.

I usually poke around here in the morning/early afternoon, but got sick from a pot roast breakfast, then didn’t eat all day and got super deluded/flustered from low blood sugar. So, now, I’m doing a munch on these beauts.

Very fking tempted.

HOLY SHIT LIMITED RUN GAMES GOT A HOLD OF CHEX QUEST

!

Life Hack: You can apply customization kits to tools to reset their durability!

"We get it, you're from space!"

I normally stay clear of posting politics stuff around here, but between the pandemic, my personal infection scare, my anxiety, life just not being normal, and now this? THIS? I can't take it I'm glad reporters are obviously fed up as well.

Made this nifty phone wallpaper of the screen I took of my villagers and I finally getting to enjoy KK's concert~ <3

Found the perfect item for my in-progress haunted forest!

Seems Cuomo's probably gonna be fine out the other end of this, thankfully. Always enjoyed his show (even though I lean fairly far left). His spirit despite suffering such dizzying fevers and awful pains has given me hope as well as these wonderful vids.

Yeah, this may be the day Jesus rose from his ded cave. BUT, more importantly, it's the last day for eggs!!!

I think Gaj was on to something when he said I should try pulling off a goatee. I usually hate facial hair on me, but a haircut + a thicker facial (heh) might do me some good! #selfietoid

For anyone who missed out on any of the sakura recipes during the cherry blossom spring event, I'll make you 1-3 of anything that I've got! Dodo Code and recipe list in the comments.

MATT DAMON

me rn