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Plain Dere
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"I certainly don't need that Dark Souls Remaster" *pulling out wallet*. "Why would I buy a game I've beaten more times than I can count" *entering credit card information*.

 
 
 

The only thing I really want to hear about at E3 is about an N64 Mini. I know this won't happen, but a man can wet dream

 
 
 

My poop schedule is all of out of whack. What a bunch of crap


 
 
 

Ive been thinking and I've decided it's time for The Actual Charlton Heston and I to get a tandem bike together. We shall be the envy of all. It's the least I can do after he got me monkey testicles and a necklace made entirely of molars


 
 
 

But seriously folks, where are my underwear?

 
 
 

"I'm a simple man, that likes the simple pleasures in life. Such as simply pleasuring myself"--Abraham Lincoln

 
 
 

If I would've told 16 year old me I have a house and I'm now legitimately interested in fix up projects and gardening, 16 year old me would have said "pfffft" and gone back to wanking it

 
 
 

With the summer months coming up, do you or a loved one suffer from Sweaty Butt? Sweaty butt is no joking matter and effects millions daily. If I have my way, we will eradicate Sweaty Butt so that no one need suffer again.


 
 
 

I am moved! Also more fiber in my diet so I should be much more regular here. A second also, I took my new toilet for a spin. Pretty nice if you ask me and I do know toilets. It is a little rough when taking the corners but I'll wear her in

 
 
 

Will be officially moved into the new house this weekend. I think I'll braid my back hair for the occasion...because I'm classy

 
 
 

Just stopping by to say hello and let everyone know the move is going smoothly and it continues! Busy time. Also, has anyone seen my pants?

 
 
 

Ladies and gents, I will be taking an extended absence from here. The next couple weeks will be devoted to packing and a house move. Crazy busy. I may stop in at times to quickly and silently fap, but have a good couple weeks folks. You will be missed


 
 
 

I have nightmares about toilet snakes

 
 
 

Let the farting commence. I regret nothing


 
 
 

It warms my loins to see Band of Bloggers take off so well. Special thanks to LaTerry for getting this ole thing started again

 
 
 

Science and puns have gone too far


 
 
 
 

If you have been wronged or emotionally scarred due to Wes Tacos and his "one fap ball slap" you may be entitled to additional faps! Contact Real Dere for help against Wes Tacos and his misuse of faps


 
 
 

I hurt my back getting out of the car and got a cramp in my leg standing up from my desk. They will write ballads about my struggle

 
 
 

Monday morning is having to stop at a gas station bathroom on my way to work due to a Hershey squirts problem

 
 
 

#communityshoutout to Seymour. Bro I love your qposts on here and I've always appreciated your blogs. You're a straight shooter with good stuff to say. I always miss ya when you're taking breaks from our group. You stay you man

 
 
 

Hyphens are an underrated punctuation mark. The semi colon is totally overrated. If I'm going to colon, give me the full on colon

 
 
 

Just wanted to say thank you to this wonderful and awesome community for such a positive response to my blog. I love I can talk about anything and you all don't judge me for my nerdiness. Thank you!


 
 
 

This seems a little excessive for April 2nd


 
 
 

Wes got me pregnant... April Fool's. I actually got him pregnant

 
 


About Real Dereone of us since 9:17 AM on 12.14.2016

 
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