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Jed Whitaker
Fronts 718Posts 471Blogs 73Following 34Followers 95


 

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Review: Flinthook

One part ghost, one part pirate, one part bounty hunter, one part hooker. No, I'm not talking about your grandma, but the protagonist of Flinthook, a game that had me 'hooked' from the start. Sorry. I had to.   read

 
 
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Review: Vroom in the Night Sky

Watch every Adam Sandler movie in a row. See my grandma naked. Lick the callused scaly feet of Louie Anderson after a hard day's work on the set of Family Feud. Attempt to tie my flaccid penis containing an entire cotton swab in a kn...   read

 
 

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Review: Kamiko

It isn't every day that we here at Destructoid review imports, but like Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 which I also reviewed, Kamiko also features an all lady cast and offers an English translation if you grab it from the Japanese eShop. For a...   read

 
 
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The Jackbox Party Pack 3 is A-OK on the Nintendo Switch

I'm a huge fan of The Jackbox Party Pack titles as they not only offer up a ton of content that both gamers and non-gamers alike can enjoy, but they prevent your friends and family from just ignoring you and everyone else in the room f...   read

 
 
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Review: Use Your Words

Listen up fam, if you're into making dank memes and have a few equally 'lulz' friends who want to create them sitting around a TV via their cell phones, then this is the game for you. I guess? In a world that practically speaks, eats, and b...   read

 
 
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Review: Graceful Explosion Machine

Another week, another Switch indie game to be reviewed that falls in a niche genre. This time it's the timed exclusive Graceful Explosion Machine -- a colorful score-driven space shooter that many people have compared to Geometry Wars ...   read

 
 
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Review: Hollow Knight

I got my Nintendo Switch day one and I've put around 10 hours into The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, the latest game from my favorite series. Not because I don't love it, but because I've been obsessed with Hollow Knight. It is that ...   read

 
 
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Review: Has-Been Heroes

Roguelikes are supposed to be addicting pick-up-and-play experiences that have players doing 'just one more run' before realizing they've been playing for hours on end. After over 10 hours, I can't bear to play anymore. Every time I'm about...   read

 
 
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Review: Macbat 64

I've never pitched a game to someone with a prototype, but I'd imagine Macbat 64 isn't far off from what publishers would have seen when looking at prototypes for Banjo-Kazooie and Donkey Kong 64. That is to say, bite-sized levels...   read

 
 
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Review: Poi

What if I told you there is a game you can play right now that combines some of the best mechanics of 3D Mario games with a bunch of cute original characters, locations, and enemies? And what if I told you that very game also failed to be c...   read

 
 


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Review: 1-2-Switch

"Fucking stupid" is my aesthetic -- just ask anyone on Twitter that disagrees with my opinions -- and 1-2-Switch is definitely stupid, though not in the good sense. It's stupidly priced with a stupidly low amount of content. If on...   read

 
 
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Review: River City Ransom: Underground

It has been 28 years since the original River City Ransom released, and it finally has a proper sequel in Underground. I know, I know, some of you purists are saying, "But Jed, RCR had a ton of sequels and spinoff sports titles, t...   read

 
 
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Review: AUKEY KM-G3 RGB Mechanical Keyboard

I love mechanical keyboards. I used to think people that raved and ranted about them and spent hundreds of dollars on a basic-looking, loud-as-hell keyboard were stupid idiots -- until I tried one. Now I can never go back. That said, I see ...   read

 
 
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Review: Rise & Shine

Have you ever fallen head over heals for someone extremely beautiful only to find out that what is at their very core is just not good, and may even be downright bad? It gives me no pleasure to say that is how I feel about Rise & Shine,...   read

 
 
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Jed Whitaker's top lit and or turnt games of 2016 fam

How do you do fellow kids? I'm sure you are all on the edges of your seats in anticipation of the most objectively correct list of the best games of 2016. Welp, here it is.  Lick my chest hair and call me daddychu.   read

 
 
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Hot and Steamy: A grimdark reimagining of the teenage pregnancy film Juno called Juno's Darkest Hour

Dear Brian number two, It's me, THE GARBAGE MAN, and I'm here to wade through the dumping grounds known as Steam's new release lists to find you the games that float atop all of the other water trash releasing on the storefront. As a self-p...   read

 
 
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Rust developer: 'If you're bored of the game then just stop playing it'

Garry Newman, the developer behind Garry's Mod and popular Early Access survival game Rust, took to reddit to directly address players with a chart included as seen below:    read

 
 
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Review: Super Mario Maker for Nintendo 3DS

Way back in the day, console ports of arcade games were expected to typically pale in comparison to their quarter-sucking counterparts, and we were okay with that. Flash forward twenty or so years and parity is essentially expected between ...   read

 
 
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Hot and Steamy: BDSM Santa Claus won't let you escape from his pleasure planet

He sees you when you're sleepin'He knows when you're awakeHe knows if you've been bad or goodSo be good for goodness sakeOh! You better watch out, you better not cryBetter not pout, I'm telling you whySanta Claus is comin' to town And when ...   read

 
 
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Hot and Steamy: Black Panther gets turnt up while a toaster calls an elderly tree lady a bitch

Happy Chrimbus everyone! What do you hope to get in your Chrimbus bush from Winter Man? All I know is that you better keep it trimmed and wet! Personally, I hope to get some hot new indie games on Steam like the ones listed below that are r...   read

 
 
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Hot and Steamy: Hot Asians in their underwear with sexy dwarven beards

We made it gang. Thanksgiving has come and passed, Black Friday went off without a hitch, and we all gained a little weight. Thus is life. Another constant in life until I tire of doing it is this here weekly series highlighting the potenti...   read

 
 
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Review: FNATIC Duel TMA-2 Modular Gaming Headset

When you see the name FNATIC, you're probably reminded of the various eSports teams that bear the name, or you're outraged that someone would spell fanatic wrong. What you're not thinking is "Hey, I bet they make some good headsets," and le...   read

 
 
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Review: SteelSeries Arctis 5

I've been using the SteelSeries Arctis 5 as my main headset on my PC since getting them a few weeks back, and frankly, I don't see myself going back to my far more expensive Astros. This headset fits, keeps my hair from being a mess, d...   read

 
 
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Hot and Steamy: Uncensored nude genitals climaxing

It is that time of year in America, the time when families get together to eat food and hate each other while doing it. It's also the time of year when everyone starts their holiday shopping by standing in line for hours to buy repurposed o...   read

 
 
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NSFW: Watch Dogs 2 features fully uncensored penises and vaginas, hurray equality?

[Warning: Not safe for work and disturbing content ahead intended for adults only.] Continuing my streak of hard-hitting video game journalism, I'm here with some more investigative journalism, this time in the feel-good buddy hacker comedy...   read

 
 



Reviews   filter by...

Wilson's Heart"Oh great, now I'm scared of another reality"

 

Dragon Quest Heroes II"Marginally greater heroism"

 

Outlast 2"Suffer the children"

 

Cosmic Star Heroine"Better late than never"

 

Puyo Puyo Tetris"Pop and lock"

 

Danganronpa 1.2 Reload"A body has been discovered!"

 

What Remains of Edith Finch"Such sweet sorrow"

 
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