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Gusmas
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Tennis players can never find happiness. Love means nothing to them.

 
 
 
 

The meat market had a sale on mutton. It was real sheep.

 
 
 

When the Human Torch lost his superpowers, he was certainly put out.

 
 
 

It's gonna be an interesting night. It's Locke, Stock and two smoking grunts! Watch me, Frosty, Hypno, and Renaud hate ourselves when we play Halo 5. (Frosty is streaming: Twitch.tv/venturecrow) (I might as well too Twitch.tv/perfectlybalancedgus)

 
 
 

I saw a guy from Mortal Kombat at the store. I asked him what we was doing, and he told me he was Liu Kang.

 
 
 
 

If you all hurry you can watch me, frosty, hypno, and renaud play Halo multiplayer horribly and something something puns https://www.twitch.tv/perfectlybalancedgus

 
 
 

I dug up a worm for fishing. It's the end of the line for him.

 
 
 

Playing some Halo 4 tonight with Frosty, Hypno, and Renaud. I have a feeling there will be a flood of team kills. Chief among them will be Renaud. Someone Locke him up and throw away the Keyes!

 
 
 

Why did the blind man fall into the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

 
 
 

Justice is best served cold. Because if it was served warm, it would be just water.

 
 
 

Today is Mom-umental for all those mothers out there! Happy Mothers Day!!!

 
 
 
 

There is a haunted AC unit at my work. It's been giving everyone the chills! Happy birthday, Torch!


 
 
 

Today I spotted an albino dalmatian. Now everyone will be able to tell it's a dalmatian.

 
 
 

When I lived on the coast I consulted the tide charts every day. I liked to keep up on current events. #SelfieToid


 
 
 

He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.

 
 
 

I once had an ex girlfriend put on a sexy cop uniform, so she arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed. I was released after a quick trial due to lack of evidence.

 
 
 

I couldn't find the car window scraper this morning, so I used a plastic store discount card to clean my windows. It didn't work very well. I only got 20% off.

 
 
 

Had a riot with Frosty playing Halo last night. I was in tears because I was laughing so hard. 10/10 would play exploding grunts again

 
 
 
 
 

My shrink assures me that my obsession with the formalization of puns is just a 'phrase I'm going through'.

 
 
 

People say I know a lot about folk tales but that's just a myth.

 
 


About Gusmasone of us since 10:54 AM on 05.23.2013

A purveyor of puns to those with a discerning taste.

My birthday is April 28th.

 
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