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Eliza Gauger
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Flower: Separating the Men from the Boys

One of the most excruciating moments in the life of any gamer is handing the controller to a friend, your face swollen with the joy of pure playfulness, and having your entire life ruined as your buddy clamps down on the controls, scowls, a...

 
 
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Left 4 Bed: Post-Valentine Priapism

Offworlder Joel Johnson spotted this over in the Bay Area Craigslist personals while cruising for a "casual encounter".  You know: bowling shirts, some brewskis, couple games of Fumble the Crumble (peach). FRWARGGHH GHUURR (L...

 
 
 
 
 
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Happy Monkey Island Music Day!

 Monkey Island Music day has been celebrated every year since Joystiq began the tradition on October 13th of last year.  Immediately afterwards it was picked up by Ron Gilbert and Kotaku.  With such a long and illustrious his...

 
 
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A review of Halo 3.

It’s been several days since I completed Halo 3’s co-op campaign.  Reviews by other writers say that this was the least successful part of the game, and that multiplayer is where the thing really shines.  But honestly,...

 
 
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Bethesda spits on your fancy cityboy talk in Fallout 3

I really, truly, honestly meant to post this many weeks ago, so forgive me, but I've searched the archives and found no mention of it.  Aeropause reports (with a consternation that I share) that Fallout 3 might be too much shooty, not ...

 
 
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Clive Barker's Jericho demon demo downloadable a day early

Hot off the presses, and by that I mean the Something Awful forums, is the news that the Jericho demo is a day early on Filefront and Gamespot. Jericho appealed to me because of its demonic time-traveling squad mechanic, although the traile...

 
 
 
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TGS 2007: the Ministry of Mystic Machines

 EDIT:  You all seem very puzzled!  As much as I enjoy your hurt and confusion, allow me to 'splain.  This video is, as far as I am able to speculate, a demo reel for a fighting game that is based on an art book/exhibit...

 
 
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TGS 2007: The Diverting History of Mechanical Fellows

Kentia Hall is the infamous vault one can find behind and between the normal passageways at E3.  From descriptions by various E3 attendees over the years, I have gathered that Kentia is mostly regarded as a sad little den of all the re...

 
 
 
 
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The quiet genius of Steve Purcell

If you thought I was done relating uncomfortable anecdotes from San Diego Comic-Con, you would be wrong.Sometime after my humiliation at the LucasArts booth (to which I subjected myself for the Cause), I found myself strolling down one of t...

 
 
 
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The unbearable disappointments of being a gamer.

There may be one or two of you who followed my salivating obsession leading up to the release of the PS2 survival horror game, Rule of Rose.  Flynn DeMarco from GayGamer and I (then at Kotaku) would paint each other's toenails in giddy...

 
 
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Games are not supposed to be fun

This comes from a tip dropped over on Ectomo: a post on gaming blog Yahuda that challenges the universally-held notion that the primary, and perhaps sole purpose of games is to be fun.Games are not supposed to be anything. Games are a mediu...

 
 
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They promised us lightsabers

Friday, my only day at San Diego Comic-Con.  I contracted necrotizing fasciitis from the Slave Labor Graphics booth during that evening, and so had to be airlifted out that night, but adventures were plentiful during my short stay.&nbs...

 
 
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Goblin Urine vs. Robot War: Overlord and Earth Defense Force

Dawn over San Diego: thousands of undesirables file into queue on hot bricks, the muzzy sun making the sweat pool in their fright wigs, ooze down their squinting faces and finally down the backs of their Tifa bodices, their Storm Trooper to...

 
 
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Gauger Frozen Treats: Betrayal and Candor

Gather close and listen, o ye sons of men, o ye prodigal daughters, o mine long lost droogs: to hell with Florian Eckhardt.We had a deal.  It’s always been about solidarity.  Whether he was lambasting my BBW status, or I was...

 
 


About Eliza Gaugerone of us since 1:09 PM on 07.20.2007