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Adzuken
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Review: Hotshot Racing

The racing game scene was once a far more colorful place. At any time you could be driving a Volkswagen Beetle through Jurassic Park or going up impossible climbs in your futuristic turbo bike. The early 3D era was, after all, a time of exp...

 
 
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Review: Death and Taxes

It seems the most important shared experience of our lives is the one we know nothing about. None of us know, definitively, what happens after death. Certainly, many of us have our beliefs -- an afterlife, reincarnation, total oblivion, our...

 
 
 

Depending on how you interpret my choice for #sadsongsunday, it could actually be an uplifting song about letting go of your problems. That, or it could be about all your problems being so bad that the only solution is to burn it all down and start over.



 
 
 

In today's Dating Adzuken, I score royally in Amber's Magic Shop. This is going to be my last Dating Adzuken article for a while, details in comments.


 
 
 

In today's review, I get the chance to complain about a movie while praising a game based on it. It's Star Wars Racer. My comfort food.

 
 
 

It's #SadSongSunday. This is probably one of my favourite songs of all time. I don't really relate to the lyrics. It's about crystal meth addiction in the gay community, and I've never even touched a drug in my life. I just really dig the imagery.



 
 
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Review: Paradise Killer

What the heck was Killer7 even about? Japan being on the brink of war with the United States? Political parties being infiltrated by terrorists? Brutal assassinations being carried out against key political figures? It sounds like a Tom Cla...

 
 
 

Unused Fight Crab screenshot: Fiddler crab cuts an avocado with a lightsaber.


 
 
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Review: Fight Crab

I like crabs. Do you like crabs? I keep a small group of hermit crabs as pets, one has been with me for over a decade now. So, my first question when going into Fight Crab was, “can I play as a hermit crab?” The answer is no, sa...

 
 
 

Today's Dating Adzuken is hilariously less spicy than the game's name suggests. I try to find romance in Seduce Me, and, well, the game was free, so what am I complaining about?


 
 
 

Although getting bullied by the Suda51 defence force has left a bad taste in my mouth, I’m not going to let that stop me from jumping into an old favourite.


 
 
 

I upset a subset of Suda51 fans on Twitter with my review of Paradise Killer. It’s fascinating to me that you can run afoul of little pockets of misery on the internet by liking the same thing they do but maybe not licking its feet as much?


 
 
 

It's been over a year since I last did an Army Men review. Maybe I should get back into it. Starting with Sarge's Heroes 2 for PS1.


 
 
 

It's still technically #sadsongsunday for another 5 minutes here. I'm not too proud to say I don't know what the lyrics mean in this song, but it's probably about a breakup. It's always about a breakup.



 
 
 

Here's a fact: every time I write a new dating article, I consider it the "best one." With that in mind, here's Pub Encounter, the best Dating Adzuken, yet.


 
 
 

A toy that encouraged you to destroy your parents' floor trim. All of these guys are in my parents' basement now in varying states of destroyed. I still remember the day we got them. I would have been, like, 3 or 4 at the time. #childhoodtoytoid


 
 
 

I've had this review of River City Girls done for a while, but then stuff happened and it never got posted. So here it is now!


 
 
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Review: Best Friend Forever

For the last couple of months, dating sims have been my jam. It was only a matter of time before I stepped up to the plate for Destructoid and gave one a proper scrutinizing. Best Friend Forever is the game being pitched in my direction, an...

 
 
 

I used to know an arrangement of this on my ukulele and spent many an evening of depression lying on the floor, plucking this song out, and plaintively singing along. #sadsongsunday



 
 
 

Now that my review for Best Friend Forever has been posted, I can show off some of the glitches I mentioned in it. This one had me giggling the most, but I'll post another one in the comments.


 
 
 

I think some misunderstand, my Dating Adzuken articles are for people who DON'T have an interest in dating sims. Today's entry, True Love, is more about history and nakedness.


 
 
 

Gosh, searching for a new dating sim on Steam is a whole new level of dangerous. It quickly goes from, "Oh, this looks cute," to immediately backing out of the store page.

 
 
 

If I keep reviewing ecchi games like KukkoroDay, someone's going to start thinking I'm a pervert. But I swear, I only play them for their cute love stories. You believe me, right?


 
 
 

Oh, right. I was trying to make #sadsongsunday a thing. You can't throw a rock at Elliot Smith's discography without hitting something heartbreaking. But perhaps the saddest songs were released after he committed suicide.



 
 
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Review: Phoenotopia Awakening

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link was a massive departure from the original title. More linear, carefully metered progress, and with more RPG elements. It bore few similarities to its predecessor with its unique mix of top-down overworld expl...

 
 


About Adzukenone of us since 3:39 PM on 05.09.2018



Adzuken Q. Rumpelfelt is a gadabout gaming hobbyist, avid tea enthusiast, and aspiring writer. She's been playing video games all her life and is a lover of both new and retro games.

Obsessed in the obscure, the forgotten, and the unique, she enjoys diving in to find the human side of gaming. The failures as well as the successes.

A lover of the kitschy, the bizarre, and the dated. Enjoys 80's and 90's cartoons, horrible box art, awful voice acting, and non-traditional storytelling.

She also writes on her personal blog, the Game Complaint Department

 
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