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White Whales: A long and miserable list of Final Fantasy failures

For many, the Final Fantasy series is a rich source of cherished memories. Whether it's meeting a doomed flower girl on the neo-futuristic streets of Midgar, suplexing a ghost train, or devoting endless hours to Triple Triad, the seminal ro...   read

 
 
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Those meddling kids: The Bravely Default kids are jerks

[For our first promotion from the September Blogger's Wanted prompt, "Those meddling kids," UsurpMyProse puts the kids from Bravely Default under the microscope and rips them a new one. Don't believe his vile lies about fairies, though...   read

 
 
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Please stop stabbing people in the neck

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse wants us to cut out all the stabbing, and offers a hefty slice of alternatives. His wit is so sharp, you'll be on the (knife) edge of your seat. The movie Blade. Other puns. Want to see your own stuff a...   read

 
 
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I love the blue shell

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse answered our recent call for "I love what you hate" submissions with a most evil confession. Do YOU love something that everyone else loathes? Go tell us about it! --Mr Andy Dixon] For many of you, I im...   read

 
 
China photo
From our community  

Tips for China to catch up on 14 years of console gaming

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse catches China up on what they've been missing. Turns out, it's not much! Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey there, China! Have you heard the goo...   read

 
 
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My 7th Gen: Dear Xbox 360, I'm breaking up with you

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse bids a fond farewell to his Xbox 360 for this month's Community Assignment. Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Dear Xbox 360 (aka My Sweet Red Eye),...   read

 
 
Pokmon Promoted Blog photo
From our community  

So you're a grown-ass adult paying $239 to play Pokemon

[A bit of fun for the weekend, courtesy of Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse. --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey, you. It's me -- you. I know, it's been a while since we last talked. Not since I tried to convince you that two Doritos Locos Tacos aren'...   read

 
 
Next Xbox promoted blog photo
From our community  

Seven 'Xbox Reveal' predictions that will totally happen

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse has seen into the future and been given a glimpse of tomorrow's Xbox event, and what he saw was... well, it's about what we all expected. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write so...   read

 
 
Zelda Horror Story photo
From our community  

Horror Story: Fear, thy name is Zelda

[For his Bloggers Wanted essay response, Destructoid community blogger UsurpMyProse explains why Ocarina of Time is the scariest game of all time. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Wri...   read

 
 
Promoted Blog photo
From our community  

Five Dark Souls bosses that made me want to punch a baby

[In what may possibly be the funniest user blog I've ever had the pleasure of reading, Dtoid community member UsurpMyProse highlights his five "favorite" Dark Souls bosses. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write somet...   read

 
 
UsurpMyProseFeatured blogger

Aspiring writer and 2010 Penn State Triwizard Champion. Sometimes I make funny lists.

 


 


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The Pokemon Cookbook"#PinterestFail"

 

Let it Die"Grasshopper is back"

 

Tyranny"Are you a bad witch, or a really bad witch?"

 

Steep"Riding Goofy"

 

The Last Guardian"Hopefully not the last from Team Ico"

 
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Community expand | +quickpost

Deadgar64

Running on 0% percent sleep, spent the night in the University media lab working on final projects (animation and orchestral Got them but now Im slap-happy and have an urge to play Rocket

 
Morpho

I noticed a few people have been doing Ask Me Anythings Would it be fucking presumptious of me to do one? I know a lot of people arent accepting of the motherfucker that is me, but let me show you Im (Bump for more questions, will blog)

 
Silver Luso

I know I just posted an ad about this game, but the marketing team begind it as a whole deserves mad

 
gajknight

Woke up today sick as a Been watching Smash mouth memes videos for the last two I think Im

 
Rad Party God

That Nintendo thing with Jimmy Fallon had me gleefully giggling like an idiot while working out on the

 
Gundy The Original Top Nep

I hate our new department head so How can someone have that position and be so bad at their job? The worst part is that the store manager will probably try to find a way to put the blame on me for our department looking like

 
Nathan D

Nier demo on the Its a damn Christmas miracle, in more ways than

 
ObliqueZombie

Let it Die, day ??: Machetes are Like three hits and Im dead at level 51? Fuck Music is still great, gameplay is good not great, super eager to climb the floors despite the I cant wait to see future updates and

 
Greenhornet214

For all you Bros out there

 

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