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White Whales: A long and miserable list of Final Fantasy failures

For many, the Final Fantasy series is a rich source of cherished memories. Whether it's meeting a doomed flower girl on the neo-futuristic streets of Midgar, suplexing a ghost train, or devoting endless hours to Triple Triad, the seminal ro...   read

 
 
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Those meddling kids: The Bravely Default kids are jerks

[For our first promotion from the September Blogger's Wanted prompt, "Those meddling kids," UsurpMyProse puts the kids from Bravely Default under the microscope and rips them a new one. Don't believe his vile lies about fairies, though...   read

 
 
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Please stop stabbing people in the neck

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse wants us to cut out all the stabbing, and offers a hefty slice of alternatives. His wit is so sharp, you'll be on the (knife) edge of your seat. The movie Blade. Other puns. Want to see your own stuff a...   read

 
 
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I love the blue shell

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse answered our recent call for "I love what you hate" submissions with a most evil confession. Do YOU love something that everyone else loathes? Go tell us about it! --Mr Andy Dixon] For many of you, I im...   read

 
 
China photo
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Tips for China to catch up on 14 years of console gaming

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse catches China up on what they've been missing. Turns out, it's not much! Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey there, China! Have you heard the goo...   read

 
 
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My 7th Gen: Dear Xbox 360, I'm breaking up with you

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse bids a fond farewell to his Xbox 360 for this month's Community Assignment. Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Dear Xbox 360 (aka My Sweet Red Eye),...   read

 
 
Pokmon Promoted Blog photo
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So you're a grown-ass adult paying $239 to play Pokemon

[A bit of fun for the weekend, courtesy of Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse. --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey, you. It's me -- you. I know, it's been a while since we last talked. Not since I tried to convince you that two Doritos Locos Tacos aren'...   read

 
 
Next Xbox promoted blog photo
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Seven 'Xbox Reveal' predictions that will totally happen

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse has seen into the future and been given a glimpse of tomorrow's Xbox event, and what he saw was... well, it's about what we all expected. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write so...   read

 
 
Zelda Horror Story photo
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Horror Story: Fear, thy name is Zelda

[For his Bloggers Wanted essay response, Destructoid community blogger UsurpMyProse explains why Ocarina of Time is the scariest game of all time. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Wri...   read

 
 
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Five Dark Souls bosses that made me want to punch a baby

[In what may possibly be the funniest user blog I've ever had the pleasure of reading, Dtoid community member UsurpMyProse highlights his five "favorite" Dark Souls bosses. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write somet...   read

 
 


UsurpMyProseFeatured blogger

Aspiring writer and 2010 Penn State Triwizard Champion. Sometimes I make funny lists.

 


 


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Community expand | +quickpost

Nathan D

RE7 is great so It definitely feels old school in a lot of Im also surprised at how campy it Definitely not the grimdark game it seemed to be there for 2 hours and 45 minutes in and Im

 
Raiku

My friend is joining our great Ive prepared the Bowser

 
iam16bit

Ok so this has been on my mind In the Splatoon 2 trailer they show Marie without I hope they havent had a falling out, it just wouldnt be the same without the Squid Sisters

 
Rad Party God

Apparently, I have a Steam card valued at $387 HOLY SHIT! And its funny, because its coming from this unfinished piece of I doubt I can sell it, but it would be REALLY nice if it does >:)

 
Traest

*reloads X Com 2* I enjoyed this, why did I stop playing it? *Archon King shows up* Oh yeah, this

 
Gamemaniac3434

Welp, I succumbed to Zacks advice, peer pressure and a desire to avoid as many spoilers as possible because eventually some people will decide to vomit them up where I can see As of now I own RE7-downloading Might stream for the

 
Asterion

Sorry to post yet another Switch video (still trying to figure out if I want one), but this has to be the funniest vid on the Switch Ive seen I love the way he keeps looking to the side like hes talking to an invisible

 
Raiku

Sending some thicc love out

 
Morpho

You probably dont know this, but I kind of like the Tales Its no Final Fantasy, but theres an undeniable charm to them I cant That being said, do I have the right to call myself a fan if I actually fucking hate half the games I own?

 
Morpho

Welcome to the family, son! Im more of a modern Resident Evil fan, and I generally dont like horror games, but fuck it, its Resident Evil, its doing something new, I got to try it! I just hope I dont suck at the game; I couldnt even beat :(

 

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