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White Whales: A long and miserable list of Final Fantasy failures

For many, the Final Fantasy series is a rich source of cherished memories. Whether it's meeting a doomed flower girl on the neo-futuristic streets of Midgar, suplexing a ghost train, or devoting endless hours to Triple Triad, the seminal ro...   read

 
 
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Those meddling kids: The Bravely Default kids are jerks

[For our first promotion from the September Blogger's Wanted prompt, "Those meddling kids," UsurpMyProse puts the kids from Bravely Default under the microscope and rips them a new one. Don't believe his vile lies about fairies, though...   read

 
 
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Please stop stabbing people in the neck

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse wants us to cut out all the stabbing, and offers a hefty slice of alternatives. His wit is so sharp, you'll be on the (knife) edge of your seat. The movie Blade. Other puns. Want to see your own stuff a...   read

 
 
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I love the blue shell

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse answered our recent call for "I love what you hate" submissions with a most evil confession. Do YOU love something that everyone else loathes? Go tell us about it! --Mr Andy Dixon] For many of you, I im...   read

 
 
China photo
From our community  

Tips for China to catch up on 14 years of console gaming

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse catches China up on what they've been missing. Turns out, it's not much! Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey there, China! Have you heard the goo...   read

 
 
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My 7th Gen: Dear Xbox 360, I'm breaking up with you

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse bids a fond farewell to his Xbox 360 for this month's Community Assignment. Want to see your own blog appear on our front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Dear Xbox 360 (aka My Sweet Red Eye),...   read

 
 
Pokmon Promoted Blog photo
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So you're a grown-ass adult paying $239 to play Pokemon

[A bit of fun for the weekend, courtesy of Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse. --Mr Andy Dixon] Hey, you. It's me -- you. I know, it's been a while since we last talked. Not since I tried to convince you that two Doritos Locos Tacos aren'...   read

 
 
Next Xbox promoted blog photo
From our community  

Seven 'Xbox Reveal' predictions that will totally happen

[Dtoid community blogger UsurpMyProse has seen into the future and been given a glimpse of tomorrow's Xbox event, and what he saw was... well, it's about what we all expected. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write so...   read

 
 
Zelda Horror Story photo
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Horror Story: Fear, thy name is Zelda

[For his Bloggers Wanted essay response, Destructoid community blogger UsurpMyProse explains why Ocarina of Time is the scariest game of all time. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write something! --Mr Andy Dixon] Wri...   read

 
 
Promoted Blog photo
From our community  

Five Dark Souls bosses that made me want to punch a baby

[In what may possibly be the funniest user blog I've ever had the pleasure of reading, Dtoid community member UsurpMyProse highlights his five "favorite" Dark Souls bosses. Want to see your own words appear on the front page? Go write somet...   read

 
 
UsurpMyProseFeatured blogger

Aspiring writer and 2010 Penn State Triwizard Champion. Sometimes I make funny lists.

 


 


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PowerA Fusion Controller for Xbox One"More buttons, more sticks, less money"

 

River City: Tokyo Rumble"Kickin' ass and takin' coins"

 

The Bunker"'I'm going underground (going underground)'"

 

Virginia"It's a game, I guess?"

 
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Community expand | +quickpost

James Internet Ego

A gentle reminder:

 
lokhe

Gotta wait around with this baby for 4 Wish I had something to play Wonder if the App Store has something

 
Dreamweaver

Ive been eager to replay Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain again, so heres Tetsuya — We have no tomorrow, but theres still hope for the In our struggle to survive the present, we push the future farther - Venom Snake

 
The Dyslexic Laywer

Pshh you think you guys are tough? Check out how big my back log is!

 
Mike Martin

Ha! I figured out where to farm the stuff I need for the glaive I Fuck you Monster Hunter! Fuck you too wikis! I like figuring shit out on my #IMadeASmart

 
TurboJasper

I am in Why is the presidential debate on the telly? As always they strive for

 
Cory Arnold

Tap my Katamari quick revuew: tap anywhere over and over as you move right and pick something up every now and Basically zero 0/10

 
Hypno Coffin

Yeah, Im 100% playing as the female trainer This is the cutest thing Ive seen all

 
Mike Martin

You guys scoffing at backlogs (and you folks with puny backlogs), are This is just Not all my other PC Not my PS, nor my Not even my 3DS or retro Just Steam, sitting at

 
JcDent

Every good genestealer cult patriarch knows that establishing brand identity is the first step to ascension

 

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