DeS: IKEA takes on ... esports furniture?
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As it turns out, Sims Bustin' Out on GBA was written in part by Darby Christopher McDevitt, who would later go on to write for the core Assassin's Creed series. Not that I enjoy AssCreed's narrative, but it explains why GBA Sims are strangely compelling.


The Sims Bustin' Out on Game Boy Advance allows you to hit on other Sims for no reason at all, but only on Sims of the opposite sex, which seems weird. Sims have always been rampantly bisexual, so it's a bit jarring to have that option denied. Tragic.


Another perfect landing.


Finished The Sims on GameCube's "Get a Life" mode. In the thrilling conclusion, I shipped my bewilderingly ugly children off to prep school, dumped my accidental husband, and went off to live out the rest of my days on a yacht. Now onto Sims: Bustin' Out.


So, I banish my accidental husband to his own room to take care of the mystery child on his own. Not long after, the game freezes up completely. I think this is the most overt way a video game has ever told me how much it hates me.


So, having "scored" with this guy, my Sim is whisked off to a bigger house. The next day, she's at work and her husband is studying, when suddenly a bundle of joy is plopped down next to him out of nowhere. My Sim has had her youth ripped away.


The Sims on GameCube (don't judge me) gives you a goal to "Score with someone at a party." So I flirted with a guy, selected "Try and Score" and my sim gets on her knee and proposes. My definition of "score" obviously diverges from The Sims.


Finally got my GameCube HDMI adapter, peeled off the vinyl skin my ill-advised, late-teen self slapped on it, and now I'm ready for a weekend of GameCube games.


Finally! It's about time I got some recognition.


Unlocked my Octoling. Then I had a rough streak in ranked mode, so I decided to unwind by hanging out with my girl, Marie.


That's it. Shows over. Evil Wins. He got both Triforces. Everyone can go home.


I wish Nintendo would hurry and release that Octo Expansion. I'm so excited I could ink. Edit: It's out!


The Legend of Zelda is a Saturday morning cartoon where the villain ties women up in his bedroom.


Is Ocarina of Time a Gay Coming-of-Age Story?

In The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, puberty hits Link in much the same way it hits many of us fleshy humans: suddenly, at an inopportune time, and with the force of a freight train. He pulls the Master Sword, and the next thing he...


My NES era Link figure looks like he has seen some serious shit.


The reveal of additional Octoling hairstyles in the upcoming expansion excites me way more than it should.


So this happened in Mega Man Legacy Collection. D-do I blow in the cartridge?


I finally finished Never Stop Sneakin', and I really wish it had let me stop sneakin' earlier, because that was the most bored I've been playing a video game since the time I spent 6-8 hours completing the Tick on SNES.


Free-To-Play: Sticking the Landing

I’m too much of a snob to really touch free-to-play games. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I’m totally a snob, but the main reason is that the type of games that use the model don’t often appeal to me. On the oc...


The year is 2055. Magic has returned to the Earth and mammoth corporations rule. In the harsh, cyberpunk future, only one hairstyle can survive: The Cybermullet


I need advice. I like Hyrule Warriors, but don't know much about Fire Emblem. Would that be a problem in Fire Emblem Warriors? Do I need to know who the characters are to know what's going on?


These must be the horrors of war I've heard so much about.


I'm probably the last person to find this out, but Mega Man V on Gameboy is pretty rad.


About Adzukenone of us since 3:39 PM on 05.09.2018

Adzuken Q. Rumpelfelt

Gadabout Gamer
Rating: Determined
Wants: More free time

Skills: Bow-tie tying, naps
Likes: Painted nails, naps
Dislikes: Support characters, stickers on games
Fears: Birthdays, bees

I also write on my personal blog, the Game Complaint Department