DeS: Sephora makes esports debut with GIRLGAMER
dark        
 
 
Adzuken blog header photo
Adzuken
Fronts 1Posts 46Blogs 6Following 0Followers 6


 


Login or Sign up to post


 

We're grown-ass adults, we can have as many plushies as we want!


 
 
 

Taking Out the Trash: Target: Hitler

Like many people, I love killing video game representations of Nazis. Been slaying them for years, and it never gets old. Yet, while depriving digital Germany of father figures is a beloved hobby of mine, I love killing Hitler more. Da...

 
 
 
 

I've now been working on my personal blog, the Game Complaint Department, for one whole year! I've averaged out to just a little over 1 post a week, which I'm a little proud of.


 
 
 

No one will ever guess the code to my secret pornography stash.


 
 
 

*Sigh* Your father and I are very disappointed in you.


 
 
 

Good job, family. You've all pulled out the possible!


 
 
 

Thank you all. You have shown that when we pull together as a family, anything is possible.


 
 
 

I am absolutely in love with Army Men: Operation Green for GBA's graphics. So vibrant.


 
 
 

"She was as sweet and innocent as an 80’s damsel, but looked as humpable as a 90’s FPS wall." #Gamerotica

 
 
 

"Everyone in the room was aware that her beauty was like the corridor before a boss room; offering all the treats that a man could want, but blatantly warning of the lurking danger." #Gamerotica

 
 
 

Saturday Morning Scrutiny: The Legend of Zelda

It’s funny to think that there was once a time when video games were looked at more as something for the kiddies, rather than the “serious business” it is today. It was yet to be seen as a medium ripe for storytelling...

 
 
 
 

I was wondering why my Zero Tolerance review has been so popular on my personal blog these past few weeks, then I realized it probably has a lot to do with a certain zero tolerance policy that has been in the news...

 
 
 

Eesh! Now I know why Link wears a skirt.


 
 
 

I've been working in I.T. for over 7 years, and this is definitely one of the best computer death screens I have ever seen. Compliments to my co-worker for snapping it.


 
 
 

I have never owned a cell phone, so I have a question for the experts out there: Is it still possible to buy the classic-style mobile games like Doom RPG? The pre-smartphone J2ME or Symbian OS style games? Or is emulation the only possible method now?

 
 
 

I'm honestly not sure how Zelda can resist Link's game. He's got me locked.


 
 
 

As it turns out, Sims Bustin' Out on GBA was written in part by Darby Christopher McDevitt, who would later go on to write for the core Assassin's Creed series. Not that I enjoy AssCreed's narrative, but it explains why GBA Sims are strangely compelling.

 
 
 

The Sims Bustin' Out on Game Boy Advance allows you to hit on other Sims for no reason at all, but only on Sims of the opposite sex, which seems weird. Sims have always been rampantly bisexual, so it's a bit jarring to have that option denied. Tragic.

 
 
 

Another perfect landing.


 
 
 

Finished The Sims on GameCube's "Get a Life" mode. In the thrilling conclusion, I shipped my bewilderingly ugly children off to prep school, dumped my accidental husband, and went off to live out the rest of my days on a yacht. Now onto Sims: Bustin' Out.

 
 
 

So, I banish my accidental husband to his own room to take care of the mystery child on his own. Not long after, the game freezes up completely. I think this is the most overt way a video game has ever told me how much it hates me.

 
 
 

So, having "scored" with this guy, my Sim is whisked off to a bigger house. The next day, she's at work and her husband is studying, when suddenly a bundle of joy is plopped down next to him out of nowhere. My Sim has had her youth ripped away.

 
 
 

The Sims on GameCube (don't judge me) gives you a goal to "Score with someone at a party." So I flirted with a guy, selected "Try and Score" and my sim gets on her knee and proposes. My definition of "score" obviously diverges from The Sims.

 
 
 

Finally got my GameCube HDMI adapter, peeled off the vinyl skin my ill-advised, late-teen self slapped on it, and now I'm ready for a weekend of GameCube games.

 
 
 

Finally! It's about time I got some recognition.


 
 


About Adzukenone of us since 3:39 PM on 05.09.2018

Adzuken Q. Rumpelfelt

Gadabout Gamer
Rating: Determined
Wants: More free time

Skills: Bow-tie tying, naps
Likes: Painted nails, naps
Dislikes: Support characters, stickers on games
Fears: Birthdays, bees


I also write on my personal blog, the Game Complaint Department

 
NEXT