On NE: Rapper wants to give away his money and work at GameStop
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The Actual Charlton Heston
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I will now proceed to get drunk as a lord, eat part of a day-old gyro, and probably watch the extended version of Return of the King. I think I can sum up this day with one, horrible, shitty song. A song that should never have existed:



 
 
 

I hope I one day have the self confidence to grow a soul patch, look in the mirror, and say, "This is good, man. You're killing it with this soul patch." I hope also to at that moment find the courage to exile myself as penance for what I've become.

 
 
 

Yesterday I ate hot wings while I was on the toilet. I just thought everybody should know that about me. Carry on, as you were.

 
 
 

This is a somber day for me. Might well be the end of the road: I went to see my Doctor today, and he has informed me that if I do not quit sleeping on a bed made of fresh, life-size print-outs of Dere's avatar, he won't be able to pray the gay away.


 
 
 

I feel hopelessly behind all of you when it comes to recent games. But I did just start Persona 5! I find the amount of Jazzy music disconcerting. Please do not tell me the entire OST is laden with Jazz. Help a square out. Is this whole thing Jazz!?


 
 
 
 

#Plushtoid? Sure, I've got one. Sometimes I cuddle it while I watch my stories. Sometimes it sleeps on the bed with me. But it always holds a place of honor in my home.


 
 
 
 
 

Y'all are the coolest folks here. Some of us may have been picked last in gym class, and then later got heavy into cage fighting to compensate, still the raddest of the most rad Communities. An honor to be among you all. But in fear of getting too sappy:


 
 
 

I can't be the only one here who really enjoyed ToeJam & Earl for the Sega Genesis, can I? Don't make this awkward. I know there are a handful of us in existence, and I will find you. I WILL FIND YOU.


 
 
 

Big-ass Community shout-out to @Zer0t0nin, who generously and graciously gifted me a copy of Titanfall 2 out of the goodness of his heart. Make some noise for this bad-ass fellow, folks.

 
 
 

Today is my Birthday. I mention this not because it is cause for celebration, but because I'd really like to see what you mother fuckers will do with this knowledge. What I'm really saying is, go to town on me. Pour ranch dressing on me and make it hurt.


 
 
 

In life, it's important to seek new experiences, to broaden one's horizons, expand one's mind. Having finally tried butt chugging pancake batter for the first time yesterday, and a dozen times since, I can say confidently that I had no life before it.


 
 
 
 

Whoever is behind these, they're doing the Lord's work, and if I ever make the mistake of siring children, I will make it my duty in life to write full-length novels to put these covers on and read them to my offspring while they lie chained to their beds


 
 
 

On this Friday the 13th

Probably on this day, 16 years ago — a day like any other, people assumed — The Mothman Prophecies was released in theaters to the masses. A smash-hit, all would agree: but one with sinister undercurrents. Friends, The Moth...

 
 
 
 
 
 

Instructions for the lighting the grills at my apartment complex during Summer, in the comments.

 
 
 
 
 from  our Community Blogs
 
 

All right. DOOM is perfect. It is the perfect video game. It knows exactly what it is, exactly how to deliver itself, and it is not here to fuck around. I want to rub it all over my body and give it kisses. I want it to sire my progeny.


 
 
 
 

@ExteriorPainters You left us too soon, but you painted a kiss upon my heart. I never... I never even got to tell you how much I wanted you to grab my prostate and yank on it like it was a nacho cheese dispenser. You will be missed.


 
 


About The Actual Charlton Hestonone of us since 6:46 AM on 12.24.2017

 
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