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TheIntern
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Okay, I feel a little better now.


 
 
 

On this day, the day of my birth, I demand a big lottery win. If this is done, cocktails for everyone!

 
 
 

People acting like they've always loved "Cats" and talking about Rum Tum Tugger like they had any idea those were words, let alone a character from a shitty 90's musical, before yesterday. Fuck off.

 
 
 

So I wonder what's new in movie news. Huh, new Top Gun, that's unnecessary. No, why is Eddie Furlong in Terminator that's just- Oh no... Oh no no no no no NO NO NO NO WHY NO WHAT IS HAPPENING NO I CAN'T NO STOP STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT



 
 
 

I wonder if that aging photo app trending all over the internet is collecting facial recognition data nevermind here's my penis when I'm 80.

 
 
 

Sure. #AMA. I promise to be my usual curmudgeonly self.

 
 
 

I hope we see an Alien: Isolation sequel, but at the half-way mark, instead of more grind-level hiding, you get a prototype Pulse Rifle. But you need to lure the xeno to special kill zones, or the acid blood will cause hull breaches.

 
 
 

All these fantasy movies are starting to bleed together.



 
 
 

I love Metroidvanias, but I'll cop to not being the best at them. I just completed Bloodstained and I thought I did pretty good, only to find I have a LOT more to do to get that coveted 100%. I don't think I have it in me.

 
 
 

You can don "Ex Shovel Armor" in Bloodstained. It's kind of touching to see these kind of homages.

 
 
 
 

So is there some trick I'm missing to the David Hayter boss in Bloodstained because I've been fighting him forever. Anyone who drools "get gud" out of their mouths will die of dickrot.

 
 
 

So Dave Oshry of Dusk fame just teased a game in the vein of Thief: The Dark Project, and now I won't be able to sleep with (t)his giant, throbbing erection.

 
 
 

Yeah Game of Thrones ended badly but remember when Blizzard made Kerrigan a literal angel because they'd completely given up trying to make sense of their plot?


 
 
 

I toss my own salad.

 
 
 

NOW YOU'RE A MAHN A MAHN-MAHN-MAHN

 
 
 
 

I've got enough spare cash for one game. Can't afford Bloodstained. Amid Evil is an option. I've been curious about Postal 2 since watching the Civvie 11 videos. Any other recommendations?

 
 
 
 
 
 

Happy Father's Day to a petulant dad, a pissy mom, a hardline conservative brother... I just wanted to have a nice dinner and enjoy polite small-talk for a few hours but everyone's chomping at the bit for me to start an argument so fuck it, I'm out.

 
 
 

I'm in the minority, but the more I remember about Final Fantasy 7 the more disappointed I feel. Vapid, one-dimensional characters, a nonsense plot, a directionless villain, and nothing made sense. Cid was pretty cool, though. An actual character arc.

 
 
 

Well E3 is pretty much done. All that's left is for Devolver Digital to jokingly declare they ran over someone's dog in the parking lot and get stalked off-stage by Keanu Reeves.

 
 
 

Well, CD Projekt Red just kicked the hype train into overdrive. Sorry if the thumbnail spoils it.



 
 


About TheInternone of us since 3:57 PM on 07.16.2015

Mike is a crazy, jobless hobo living in his parents' basement.
 
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