This is the most important thing you will read today.

We bought carpet today for the new house. Adult purchases are weird. You’re proud and happy but the price makes your butthole tighten up. It’s really fucking soft carpet too. Squish between you toes likes you’re on ecstasy kind of stuff.

This is my happy place.

Happy birthday, Heston. You make me smile and I’m glad to know you. I hope you have a good one, buddy.

Happy birthday, Intern. This is a day the Lord has made so let us rejoice and be glad in it. I’m just wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. These three sentences are all related.

When they ask you the status of your project in group chat.

I do a lot of thrifting but it’s been a minute since I’ve seen something like this. $2.99 for the case and all the figures. I did a double take and snatched it right up.

As a southerner, this is entirely accurate. However, that’s not the point. The only reason I’m posting it here is the possum with the fedora flipping the bird and the cornbread. It’s like I have been seen on many levels.

I remember when this was in heavy rotation on MTV and BET. Used to dance to it in my friend’s bedroom while holding our Ninja Turtle figures. What a legend. He’ll be missed something fierce.

Well it’s about time.

Factual.

Two things: 1) The love y’all show each other inspires me and is a reminder that on the worst days, we can come here and be treated with love and respect. This is really a special place. 2) Orks are trash. Bunch of Alabama space mutants.

What’s the dumbest thing you ever bought? I’ll go first. I was in a mall in Thibodaux, Louisiana and was drunk. Tale as old as time, I know. Stopped in a shop and walked out with a 3D decorative plate. Undersea kingdom motif. Great stuff.

Happy birthday to our own Turbokill. If your handle isn’t an 80s movie starring Rae Dawn Chong and Frank Stallone then the world missed out.

This is the greatest dad joke ever.

Hey folks, just wanted to check in with y’all. How’s everyone doing? I’m here if anyone wants to chat/vent or if I can help in any way, let me know.

Facts.

Nextwave is a comic by Warren Ellis. It has brought me buckets of joy for years now. I have given the trades as gifts to friends, family and colleagues. It has been revealed that Hasbro will be making these. I am very pleased at this.

Going through some books I had shipped up from my parents house. Like seeing old friends.

Hey Bateman, they’re calling your name.

I love going through my books in storage and coming across stuff I forgot I had.

Hey folks, how is everyone doing out there? Hope the world is treating y’all okay.

For everyone not thrilled about Father’s Day, just remember that Ted Bundy has a daughter.

Gundy, you’re a great dude and I’m so glad to know you. I hope your day is filled with laughter and love and know that we love you buddy. Happy birthday!

I know we all want that rush of new games we’re so excited for but my biggest joy comes from commenting with y’all. Let’s take a moment to recognize that even when E3 isn’t what we hope for, it’s still a pleasure to be with everyone and banter.