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I dislike it when people ask me what I'm doing in two years, it's not like I have 2020 vision!


Since I changed the color of my favorite monastic robes they have been stiff and uncomfortable. I guess old habits dye hard.


One of my friends suffered a grizzly death at the paws of a bear. A-bear-antly it's unacceptable to make puns at the funeral.


It was a sad day for the rattlesnake family, the time had come for the children to strike out on their own.


Just in time for Thanksgiving a blockbuster movie about sweet potatoes, "The Silence of the Yams".


In high school I recall having a beautiful but difficult math teacher. She was easy on the eyes and hard on the pupils!


Whoever invented the girdle got a bum wrap.


What is a shoe repairman's favorite dessert? Cobbler.


Whenever I go near my bank I get withdrawal symptoms.


I got a job in the transmission shop. It's shift work.


Communism first took off in the insect kingdom when a wary wasp joined the cagey bee.


I once met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother, Broco Lee.


The storm chaser was so fascinated by tornadoes that he tended to get carried away.


Dentists have their own flossify on how to keep teeth clean.


The doctor couldn't transfer the organs because he didn't have the guts to do it. (TGIF everyone!)


When the prisoner was told by his lawyer that he had gotten a stay of execution, he smiled and said, "Well, no noose is good noose."


When his wife asked for wooden walls in the basement, they had a panel discussion.


The neurologist wanted to propose to his girl friend, but he just didn't have the nerve.


When he fell in the wet concrete he left a bad impression.


Paratroopers pull strings to stay on the job. Also TGIF


There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.


An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.


About Gusmasone of us since 10:54 AM on 05.23.2013

A purveyor of puns to those with a discerning taste.

My birthday is April 28th.