I ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant who she said she knew me, but I never met herbivore!

Finally beat Wolfenstein II. The last fight was annoying as crap.

When a skunk walked in, the judge said, 'odor in the court'.

Due to the cabbage crop failure it was really hard to get ahead!

You know what really bugs me? Flea Markets.

After manually rotating the heavy machinery, the worker grew very cranky.

I've always pictured myself taking selfies.

When the golfer with a serious iron deficiency went to the doctor for a check-up, he was told that he was still not out of the woods.

When the lawyer sued the coffin maker, it was an open and shut case.

Why was Sunday mass canceled? Nun showed up.

Two funeral homes invented a marijuana coffin. It was a joint undertaking.

The Origami classes saw stationery costs increase twofold.

I continually asked the track coach about joining the team, but he just kept giving me the run-around.

I really like the music by The Cars, you auto listen to it.

What do you call a tunnel engineer who always talks about his business? A bore.

I think every morning that I'm going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.

A bad resume is a hire extinguisher.

Cost of living balloons due to high inflation!

The English Teacher felt odd after being fired: it was post-grammatic stress disorder.

First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.

The man that pointed out the burning building was a fire distinguisher.

Palace guards usually eat sleep and drink securi-tea.

Why are there no knock knock jokes about America? Cause freedom rings.

I got fired from my job as a software engineer. I just couldn't get with the program.

The Three Little Pigs order off the vegan menu, but Mary Had a Little Lamb.