The shareholders of a compass manufacturer were concerned that the company wasn't heading in the right direction.

I love Wi-Fi so much because we just have that connection.

Overcome with the beauty of Earth seen from space, the astronaut removed his helmet. The view was breath taking.

A quarter-acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people, but to me it's a lot.

In honor of the 24 Hours of LeMans: The first fuel used in auto racing was called formula one.

People might think I'm a bit of a square, but that just means I'm exactly right on every angle.

Training in the morning makes you feel better in the long run.

A split taxi fee is fare.

When I suggested that my wife should alphabetize her recipes, she would have nothing of the sort.

Southerners are quick on the drawl.

When the four quadrants got together in jail they formed a vicious circle.

The storm chaser was so fascinated by tornadoes that he tended to get carried away.

My friend is afraid of two things: A small paycheck and chickens. I asked him if a poultry sum terrifies him.

Did you hear about the new bamboo trees at the zoo? It was pandamonium out there!

Exit sign manufacturers are reporting a shortage of the stencils needed to create the signs. In the meantime, price increases for the signs have become an exit stencil reality.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

My dog swallowed my engagement ring. I ended up with a diamond in the ruff.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

With certain cashiers, things are slow to register.

The boxer's girlfriend was a knockout.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

On the shelf there are ten math books, five geography books, and the rest is history. (Happy birthday to the person who likes MechWarriors, I mean Gundam. :P )

Dissatisfied with the lack of thoroughness in the demolition of the old tavern, he got into the bulldozer himself and razed the bar to a new level.

The invention of dynamite sure was ground breaking.

I have a pebble that looks like a pick. I keep it for rock music.