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Gus TT Showbiz
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I was looking at myself in the mirror and came to the realization that cremation is my last hope for a smoking body.

 
 
 

What do you call a sheep falling down a hill? A lambslide.

 
 
 

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

 
 
 

I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

 
 
 

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

 
 
 

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can't tell me that's just a coincidence!

 
 
 

I'm gonna try a thing. I'm gonna nominate someone and say a nice thing or two about them. That person has to then do the same and so on I nominate Frosty. He's a kind generous soul and I'm glad to have met him both here and IRL. #PositivityForward

 
 
 

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

 
 
 

My ceiling isn’t the best, but it’s up there.

 
 
 

Happy birthday, lettuce turnip the beet!

 
 
 
 

I hate sleeping weirdly. It's a real pain in the neck.

 
 
 
 

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

 
 
 

Strating Cyberpukn 2077 in a baes ps4 today atfer finally dowlnaoding teh limek 45 GB updtaes. Juts I remember smoe people in reviews gonig nuts that hey doing convesrations adn selecting to tlak to people is so seemless and better thne usula pressa.Waht?

 
 
 

I meant to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

 
 
 

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

 
 
 

Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes, but with nothing to light them with. So they throw one overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter

 
 
 

I was feeling depressed, so a friend put her hand on my shoulder and said Earth. It meant the world to me.

 
 
 

I’d like to cut back on the Thanksgiving leftovers, but I can’t quit cold turkey.

 
 
 

6:30 is the best time on the clock. Hands down.

 
 
 

I tried picking up Fallen Order again after I stopped playing for a while. As the ever wise Gandalf once said: "I have no memory of this place."

 
 
 
 

Where do shellfish go to borrow money? The prawn broker

 
 
 

The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.

 
 


About Gus TT Showbizone of us since 10:54 AM on 05.23.2013

A purveyor of puns to those with a discerning taste.

My birthday is April 28th.

Does anybody really read this?

 
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