When they were still predeceased citizens, the Allman Brothers wrote a song which I will paraphrase: Lord I was born a ramblin zombie, Tryin to make a livin and doin the best I can to overthrow the human-centric hegemony that suffocates my...

I can smell your terrible excitement. You've just read the world's most intriguing Cblog headline and are thinking "how can the Zombie who is Orwell possibly top his recent entries? This will be very swell."Your brain is correct. If you ...

You too can be making vast glorious sums of cash wads by clicking on this link! I also think is impressive that can make money in just the home by using computer. This is very impressive to me I also would like more imformations about how t...

Elsa mentioned that she would like a review of Left 4 Dead. If anyone has earned the right to command the zombie who is Orwell (who is me), it is Elsa. Considering her years of service to this old, shambling Destructzord we call home, I hav...

Of all the interviews we've done with humans so far, this one is the most surprising and useful. Ninjapresident has captured a human with some fascinating insights into humanity's general knowledge of zombies. Let's go, baby! 1. What say ...

As GLaDOS probably said in Portal, it it impossible to overstate my satisfaction with your performance, Dr Freeman. In this case, I (the zombie who is Orwell) am the OS who is GLaD, and Boner Quest HD is Dr Freeman. Why would I state my...

In an effort to gain 500+ comments, and in an effort to troll my own cblog post, I will now slag off Destructoid. This site sucks. I hate it. It is terrible. The #1 rule is "don't suck." Yet there are many people here who suck!!!! WTFFFF...

This narrative explains how I manged to find an unopened copy of the much sought after Boner Quest, developed by Lascivious Entertainment. In my next cblog I will give a proper review. Until then, please enjoy my humble words. There I was,...

It is my most fatuous pleasure to allow you to read the interview that our good friend PhilK3nS3bb3n conducted with a filthy human. To recap: The answers I received when I interviewed my filthy human were terse in the extreme. The answers p...

In this edition, Occams Electric Toothbrush joins the massacre. He has sequestered a Filthy Human and has attempted to gain valuable knowledges from it. He has fared quite well considering the fact that he's both a zombie AND a battery-powe...

Dearest most dear followers, comrades, and Human Infiltrators (Samit), It is with the most specious and utmost of pleasures that I introduce to you Louis, my first Filthy Human To Whom I Wish To Interrogate (FHTWIWTI). He has brown hair, l...

I have begun a beautiful new experiment. And I need your help. My goal is to discuss videogames with Actual Disgusting Filthy Humans (ADFHs). Obviously there are very few ADFHs in the Destructzord, so we may need to kidnap some. Here's w...

I, the Zombie who is Orwell (who is me), am pleased and proud to present you dear readers with something of great magnitude: We have recently struck a blow to Human High Society. Perhaps you and I have been introduced? For example, you m...

We've all been there before, yeah? Just trying to find some filthy human dinner. And suddenly... BANGBANGBANGBANG You get shot by other filthy humans who are looking to start a fight with a hungry zombie. Fortunately, they don't realize ...

My favorite psychoanalyst friend David Hume recently told me a startling revelaition: Comedy is equal parts tragedy and time. This means that if something makes you cry for 2 hours, it will make you laugh 2 hours after you stop crying. My...

Dearest dearest dearest dearest dearest dearest dearest Samit Sarkar, I wish to extend upon your corporeal shell a Big And Fine FareWell. This is not goodbye, for we shall be rejoined after the Zombie Liberation Revolution Movement has fin...

(EXCLUSIVE SEMICONDUCTOR WARNING!! This post contains no photos! How shall we survive?) We now analyze with great promptitude a video game in the Resident Evil franchise which has become very beloved by human video game bloggers. It is the...

WELCOME AGAIN TO ANOTHER ANNUAL INSTALLMENT OF OUR WEEKLY VIDEO GAME REVIEW!! I HOPE YOU READ WHAT I WROTE BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How shallst I put this?: This game is revolutionary. The developers have taken the basic Resident Evil formula...

Why hello beautiful zombie boys and girls! Zombie Orwell (who is me) recently had a sexy encounter with a sexy person who possesses sexy. I hope all of you are ready for a real nasty time! There is even a lewd photograph of us engaging in c...

What shall be done with the Dzoid spammers? This is a question that has haunted me for the last 5 minutes. Although my post may make no sense after Mr VicomClass gets banhammered, there is a certain Gentle Man who insists on posting 45 po...

I will now blow up your whole mind! Grenade detonation will ensue with rapidity. Would you like to know why? I will tell you why. Typically I, Zombie Orwell (the world's most Orwellian writer), review videogames. I write beautiful wordmusic...

Okay, no time to spare. Must begin preparations for upcoming interview. List of things to be needed: 1: Dtoider for questions asking (aka interview) 2: fabulous prize for interviewed zombie dtoider (informative drawing??) 3: other things 4...

As I am now forced to confront an issue of much great importance, I must confront it with resolute conviction and absoluteness, so that future generations of Zombie game reviewers will not have to confront this mal-confrontable issue. Wha...

Breaking news! I have discovered an unpublished photograph of Jim Sterlight and Yonatan Holmes engaged in private bedroom activities! This is a perfect chance to judge them according to our personal moral barometers!!!!! It's a photo t...

Hello dear amigos de los zombies revolucionarios! This week we review a weird thingy. I hesitate to call it a "game" as such because it does not have many classical video game criteria like jumping, human slaughter, or funny cutscenes about...