In a completely unshocking turn of events, a game billed as the "Grand Theft Auto for girls" has pissed off people who we're all beginning to assume earn a living being outraged and screaming "Won't someone please think of the children?"
From the official website for cell phone game Coolest Girl in School:
Coolest Girl in School lets players live out their high school fantasies. Experiment with fashion! Experiment with drugs! Experiment with your sexuality! Cut class! Spread rumors! But try to avoid dying of embarrassment - literally!
In Coolest Girl in School fashion and communication reign supreme. Working out what the hell to wear and answering hilarious quizzes makes or breaks you. Students are labeled according to the sub-culture they subscribe to…
Nobody said being the Coolest Girl in School would be easy…
Well, nothing about that description seems terribly abnormal to me. I'm sure branding their game the "Grand Theft Auto for girls" was a two-pronged strategy to illicit outrage both for anything having to do with Rockstar's controversy magnet and the sexism of assuming girls don't enjoy ganking fly whips and "hollin' 187 with my gat in yo' mouth," but that doesn't change the fact that the snippet aptly describes things that actually occur in high school. I'm sure I'm not the only one who experimented with drugs, teen sex or being a bi*&5y c&%^ to others, and short of putting in a minigame teaching proper tampon removal (so as to avoid TSS), the entire thing seems rather blasé when compared to the realities of being a teenager.
Of course, people have their quota of whining to fill. Hit the jump for reactions.
Online expert Christine Daviault of Montreal’s Concordia University questioned whether youthful players would grasp the game’s subtle humor:
I just don’t think most people will see it as tongue-in-cheek. (Youth players) are at a crossroads in the formation of their personalities and a game like this basically fosters a warped idea of what constitutes success and how to get it.
Youth media consultant Anastasia Goodstein thought CGIS might be a liitle too real to be fun:
Coolest Girl In School sounds a lot like high school. Do girls need to play a game to remind them of high school’s depressing social hierarchy?
Those are both valid concerns, but as we age, we seem to forget how Machiavellian high school actually is. It's a time in which people hone skills they'll need to get along in the real world, only following humanity's evolution from animals, the human equivalent of "play fighting" is both more cerebral and nefarious.
Plus, honestly, kids are kinda stupid, and high school is the perfect opportunity to learn exactly how close they can get to the fire without being burned. While I'm sure the game could be found guilty of terrible gameplay or unrealistic depictions of high school math, forgetting that children live in a vacuum of stupidity and a lack of consequences is just plugging your ears when the teapot starts whistling and snorting cocaine.