This is not a joke. I need as many people to meet me in New Jersey ASAP! We have some dolphins to save!
There are 15 dolphins currently stuck in New Jersey's Shrewsbury River and they continue to be moving farther inland. Damn humans scaring them into confusion! :(
If they aren't rescued soon, the low salt count in the fresh water river could cause the dolphins serious health problems. Even worse, if they aren't relocated by the end of the year, the beautiful creatures face the risk of freezing to death in the icy waters.
Bottom line: these dolphins need saving! And fast! Who's with me?!
The flight from L.A. to Newark should only take about seven hours.
My dolphin brethren have never needed me more ...