YAY! Today is an awesome day so far. I received the shirt I won
from Superflossy's amazing contest
I was so freaking thrilled when I found out I had won, as I don't do much story writing so it was nice to get to write something that made me laugh so damn hard while I was writing it. Even though she already posted the story in her blog, I'll post it here as well in case you didn't see it but wanted to.
Warning: She said Bale + Slash fiction = Greater chance of winning and I took that to heart, so if you're not a fan even in a comical sense than don't bother reading. :P
When Snake Met Bale - A Tale of True Love
It was a wet and rainy evening that fateful night, and poor Snake's box was getting soggy. He’s on a stealth mission to free Eric Bana, also known as Austrailia Bale, from the grasps of the evil Roseanne Barr. She was very upset that she wasn't getting any action from Dan anymore and so Eric Bana was kidnapped to take his place.
When Solid Snake heard this news he knew he needed to help, because what sexier man is there than Eric Bana? It was this question that he asked himself, when all of a sudden he felt someone sit on top of his box.
"What the?!" He tried not to make a ruckus, but pulled out his gun and jumped out of the box. A startled Christian Bale stared back at him. "Hey aren't you..?" he started to ask as he put the gun back in its holster.
"Yeah. Christian Bale, and you are?" the confused Bale asked.
"Snake. Solid Snake." he said, dusting himself off after his escape from the box.
"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone was living in the box when I sat down" Bale said.
"... I wasn't living in it... I was hiding" Snake snapped back.
He gathered up his box and started to walk back down the alley.
"Hey wait!" Bale said as he jogged a bit to catch up to him. "I'm looking for someone. Do you think you could help me?"
"Do I look like a public service helper? Who are you looking for?" Snake asked rolling his eyes.
"Eric Bana. He's been kidnapped by Roseanne and I'm trying to get him back!"
"Well do tell... Is he your boyfriend or something? That's who I'm after." Snake said with a laugh.
"No! Well.. maybe a little, but it's not like that!" Bale said as he tried to keep himself from blushing.
"Well then come with me, son. We'll find him." Snake turned to leave again when a person caught his eye.
Just then, M. Night Shyamalan walked by, turned to them in the alley and said, "What's Happenin'?!" The two just stared at each other and eventually he walked off... Weird.
They continued to walk down to the facility where it had been rumored that Eric Bana was being held. Snake peeped into the window. "Hey! I see him in there. It looks like she's trying to film a new episode of her show or something."
"But I thought that show was like... over 10 years ago." Bale shrugged then continued to go ahead and take a look.
Snake took out his lock picking tools and started to work on the door. After about a minute’s worth of work the door it popped out a tad. “C’mon let’s go.” He said.
They snuck inside the facility and hugged against the walls until they got to the area where Eric Bana was tied to a chair. They stopped and watched for a few minutes until Roseanne decided to leave the room. As soon as she was gone they ran up to him and Bale gave him a huge hug.
“I didn’t think anyone would find me! I’m so glad you guys came!” Eric Bana said.
“I would never leave you alone!” Christian Bale replied.
“Ok, enough of this love fest let’s get out of here.” Snake said snarling.
They turned to run out of the building, and just as they did they heard a voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard say, “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Roseanne was back and she was more angry than usual.
“Damn…” Snake said as he fished in his pockets for something to distract her with. “Take this!” he screamed as he pulled out a donut and threw it over her head.
“Ooh donut!” Roseanne said as she went running back to the other room to retrieve the donut.
“Ok hurry let’s go!” Snake yelled as he ushered them to run outside.
They ran down a few blocks before they finally stopped to catch their breath. “Ok… I think she’s gone…” Bale said.
“Ok, good…” Snake said as he stared directly at Bale, right into his beautiful eyes.
“What’s… up, Snake?” He said with a puzzled look on his face. Right about that time Snake kissed him full on the mouth and just smiled and turned away.
“Wow. What was that for?” Bale asked with his mouth agape.
“You should know by now…” Snake said with a grin.
“Wait… what?” Bale asked.
“What’s going on?!” Eric Bana asked.
Snake ripped off his face to reveal that he was actually Christian Bale. “Get it now?” He asked.
“No… what the hell’s going on?” Bale said as he started to back up.
“Nothing gets past you, does it?” Eric Bana said slyly.
“What…?” Bale said with a very scared look on his face.
Eric Bana started to pull his face off as well to reveal that he too was Christian Bale.
“Noooooooooooooooooooo!” Bale screamed.
Then he woke up and sadly all this was just fantasy. Though… you never know, with a twist ending like this it could have been real all along! But then again Bale making out with Bale works too, and no one would be sad at that!
So thanks again superflossy! I really appreciate you holding the contest and the shirt is freaking awesome! It makes me feel super stealthy and I need to go find a cardboard box now. :P