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Some helpful game-making tips for Dr. Boa

Is there such a thing as too much experience? I think so. 15 years is a long time to be making games, Dr. Boa (M.D. or Ph.D.?), and I think you need my help. Hillary Clinton has decided to embrace the opinions of the least educated and informed white people in the country, because she knows -- as do I -- that it is sometimes possible to know too much.

With that in mind, here are some guidelines for the good Doctor:

1a) You cannot make a game cool by TRYING to make it cool...

I don't understand exactly how this works, but more frames = more better. You could also try using the same amount of frames but fewer seconds, which should work mathematically somehow. If your competitor has more frames than you, then you might as well just pack it in and call it a day, 'cause brother, there's NO coming back from that trip.

5) Gamers have the attention spans of something with a short

[url=http://wwI wonder what Doogie Howser would have looked like with breasts[/NARP]

In this day of demos and trailers, I am willing to give a game about 60 seconds to get good. It doesn't mean I have to master it in those 60 seconds, but I should see or experience something that makes me want to play 60 more. And after a few good minutes, the player is invested, and the game-maker can coast a little bit. Lesson: put the crappy parts midway through. Ideally you'll be designing a game without any crappy parts, but apart from Tetris, that hasn't been achieved. This means the sooner you let me blow the everloving shit out of something, or do some ridiculous stunt, or engage in some really heavy-duty typing (MUD / MUSH / Mavis Beacon Does Dallas), the sooner I will love you forever and unquestioningly purchase your products until I die. That's called Brand Loyalty�, and also Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

I hope you appreciate my position as someone who knows virtually nothing about making a game, and not really all that much about playing them either. But just as someone may not be a hardcore sex offender, but rather a casual sex offender, I like to think of myself as part of the group of "HardCasual Core Gamers" that developers are so desperately seeking. You're welcome in advance.
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About MaxVestone of us since 9:23 PM on 06.03.2007

It's only a model...

Uncommon, some wear on the edges.

First game: TI Invaders (Space Invaders knock-off) for the TI-99 "home computer". Either that or the Pac-Man built into the glass-top tables at Mr. Gatti's Pizza.
First console: NES
First world-altering game secret: JUSTIN BAILEY
First Arcade: Aladdin's Palace
First "mature" game: Leisure Suit Larry
First PC: 386SX 16 mHz w/40 MB HDD, Win 3.0, & 640x480 VGA baby!
First FPS: Wolfenstein 3D
First game mastered: Street Fighter II Turbo - Hyper Fighting (SNES)
First LAN deathmatch: Duke Nukem 3D
Great Game Reawakening: Living in an apartment with all sixth generation consoles and 3 gaming rigs.

New Systems: Wii, DS.
Somehow now owns: PS3
Randomly owns: SEGA Nomad, Game Gear, Genesis II, Sega CD
Cannot afford but is thinking about intercepting return RROD coffin: Xbox 360.
Currently playing: Rock Band, Zack & Wiki, Unreal Tournament III