Well, it has finally been created. The ultimate test to claim a true Donkey Kong Champion. As in the past, Germany has gone above and beyond what would be considered normal human behavior. They have assembled a massive grid made of scaffoldings to simulate the Donkey Kong challenge in real life. A contestant will be allowed to attempt grid for the price of $100. Employee's are signaled when the contestant begins and they start to roll 150 pound barrels down the scaffoldings. Of course all participants have to sign an injury and death waiver.
Of course I am just kidding and this is not true. They are 200 pound barrels and it costs a grand. I mean really, if it was only $100 there would be a line that extends all the way into Poland, and well, I think we all remember what happened last time Germany began to amass in Poland. That would be one big argument for video game critics if Donkey Kong ended up igniting World War 3. Oh yeah, the most important part is that if you make it all the way to the top you get to take the same bus tour that Stewie and Brian took for free! Sounds like good deal to me.