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LONG BLOG

Why A Blog Series Is Bad: Part 1 of 14

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Science Fact�: If the internet were fueled by strongly-worded opinions, then it would consume itself in a violently spiralling frenzy of destruction, like an ouroboros gone supernova. That's why we use ethernets instead. The cable shielding prevents this from happening.


Courtesy Hubble Space Telescope

It's only natural, then, that a numbered series of posts is a bad idea. This means that the author has committed to writing a certain number of entries without even giving us, the audience, a chance to express our opinions on the matter.

Imagine waking up and going to your favorite blog to see Peeling My Scabs: Counting Down to June 16, National Scab Day. The chain of thought might go:
1. Who authorized this shit?
2. I didn't authorize this shit.
3. I can't believe this shit got authorized until National Scab Day.



What is the solution, then? We must express our opinions MOAR and LOUDER to MAKE IT GO AWAY if we can't KILL IT WITH FIRE. Meanwhile, there are plenty of people who like scabs, and can't understand why we are attacking the author, especially one with such a nice scab collection.

But some topics require more than one blog to do them justice. What then?

1. LIE
dvddesign has a blog series entitled Japan: A Blog pt. X of 912. Does anyone seriously believe he'll make it to 912? I'm thinking 850 at best. Nice try, dvddesign, but some of us aren't gullible.

2. DON'T NUMBER
Numbers remind people of a) how long you've been bothering them with this, b) how much longer you plan on bothering them with this, or c) waffles. So if it's c), you should be fine.

3. MIX IT UP
When something happens all the time, people take it for granted. Take gravity and genocide as two examples. But mix it up a little, and a formerly monotonous blog becomes a pleasant surprise! Imagine that suddenly gravity switched off. We'd have so much fun floating about and eating astronaut ice cream until our atmosphere drifted off into space. Blogs should seek to evoke the first part of that sentence, before all the screaming and dying.

I hope this helps. I'll be posting more of these, about one every hour. The quality will probably degrade with each post as we all lose interest.
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About MaxVestone of us since 9:23 PM on 06.03.2007


It's only a model...




Uncommon, some wear on the edges.


First game: TI Invaders (Space Invaders knock-off) for the TI-99 "home computer". Either that or the Pac-Man built into the glass-top tables at Mr. Gatti's Pizza.
First console: NES
First world-altering game secret: JUSTIN BAILEY
First Arcade: Aladdin's Palace
First "mature" game: Leisure Suit Larry
First PC: 386SX 16 mHz w/40 MB HDD, Win 3.0, & 640x480 VGA baby!
First FPS: Wolfenstein 3D
First game mastered: Street Fighter II Turbo - Hyper Fighting (SNES)
First LAN deathmatch: Duke Nukem 3D
Great Game Reawakening: Living in an apartment with all sixth generation consoles and 3 gaming rigs.

New Systems: Wii, DS.
Somehow now owns: PS3
Randomly owns: SEGA Nomad, Game Gear, Genesis II, Sega CD
Cannot afford but is thinking about intercepting return RROD coffin: Xbox 360.
Currently playing: Rock Band, Zack & Wiki, Unreal Tournament III